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Confession Time

February 13, 2015 by The Twisted Yarn 57 Comments

A confession. (Steel y’selves knitters, this is a B-I-G one.)

I have never knitted socks.

Sometimes, this makes me feel like a not-proper-knitter, because real knitters have 204 sock patterns committed to memory and neat, colourful sock drawers that look like those displays of rolled neck-ties you get in the menswear sections of upmarket department stores… Don’t they?

A non-knitting friend of mine once remarked on a knitter he’d observed who always knitted socks. This knitter was, in my friend’s opinion, not a serious yarn-wielder. I think he assumed that proper knitters were people who made big things like cabled afghans or fairisle coats. Socks, to his mind, were for mere dilettantes, because socks are small. I love my friend, but he clearly didn’t know much about knitters.

Still, I haven’t knitted any socks.

It’s not as though I’m scared of any of the techniques involved: I’m happy with DPNs, kitchener stitch, and all manner of stranded/ribbed/increasing/decreasing shenanigans. And I’ve crocheted a sock. (Just the one. It was beige, for some very good reason that escapes me now.) Hell, I even knitted a pair of slippers once, so you can’t accuse my knitting needles of any aversion to feet. Although our various and mostly cold, rough, floor surfaces shredded the soles of my slippers within days.

But I’ve never knitted socks, despite the fact that the Toddler Twinnage specifically requested that I knit some ‘smelly socks’. (I had to explain that the odour is generally introduced after the knitting is finished.)

The main reason for this is that I’m scared… not of the techniques involved, but of the addiction. Because as far as I can tell from other knitters, getting into sock knitting is a little akin to getting into crack cocaine – it’s a one-way street. You don’t come across people saying with a shrug, “Yeah, I used to knit socks – still do, occasionally – but I mostly work on afghans, now.” No. Those sock-knitters turn their heels with a fervour that scares mere mortals. And I’m scared, because whilst I’m already pretty obsessed with knitting, I do still occasionally pay token acknowledgement to my friends and family (yes really, I do), and I don’t want to lose touch with them to the extent that I forget their names. Also, I don’t want to forget to go to work.

I don’t spin or dye, for exactly the same reason. Don’t think that I wouldn’t like to try. When the Stoic Spouse presented me with a large wrapped box on Christmas day, I secretly and silently wondered whether it was a spinning wheel. Because if a spinning wheel was foisted on me, the consequent addiction wouldn’t be my fault, right?

Anyway, back to the socks. Which I definitely don’t knit. Ever.

I must confess that Father Christmas brought me some rather especially lovely DPNs that have entirely cured my aversion to such needles. ‘Tis a mere coincidence that they’re all in sock-perfect sizes. Who even knew that Father Christmas knew about knitting paraphernalia? Likewise the fact that I’ve just shelled out for a beginner’s book on sock-knitting certainly does not suggest any imment sockery. I’m merely taking a theoretical interest, so that I may contribute insights at any future sock-knitting conversations at dinner parties. This is not at all like an alcoholic expressing surprise when her chosen holiday destination is right next to a vineyard.

image

And whilst I work a jumper sleeve on DPNs, it hasn’t even remotely occurred to me that it would be similarly pleasurable to work the neat length of a sock. Oh no.

image

And the fact that the sock-knittery book wasn’t delivered until a day later than promised? Noooo, it didn’t bother me at all. It’s completely coincidental that I sulked all afternoon. Coincidental, I tell you. Probably just the weather.

No, I’m not about to knit any socks. None.

Filed Under: Knitting Tagged With: knitting, knitting socks

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Comments

  1. Gallivanta says

    February 22, 2015 at 10:09 am

    And your next confession….’how I became a secret sock knitter’. 🙂

    Reply
  2. Many Bright Things says

    February 24, 2015 at 9:17 pm

    I hope that you have been properly warned by a responsible person that knitting socks can become addictive. I’m not sure that I am a responsible person though, so I say go for it!

    Reply
  3. mindfulmagpie says

    March 1, 2015 at 6:15 pm

    Socks are definitely in your future. You’ll never be sorry!

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      March 1, 2015 at 9:08 pm

      I fear you’re right on both counts. I’ve caved. Just finishing the second sock of my first pair.

      Reply
      • mindfulmagpie says

        March 1, 2015 at 9:59 pm

        They’ll be heaven to wear!

        Reply
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  1. the twisted yarn says:
    March 2, 2015 at 9:49 pm

    […] my fear of developing a sock-knitting addiction? Hmm, probably justified, judging by the fact that I’m tempted to phone HR at work to find […]

    Reply

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#strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairislecardigan #knitdesigner #fairisle #fairislefriday #strikke #strikkedilla #virkning #garn #knitspo #knitspiration #novita #tricot #tricoter #steek #steeking #knitwear #stashknitting #handknit #handknitting #colourworkknitting #colorworkknitting #igknit #igknitters #strikstrikstrik #heirloomknits #knitting

Whilst I recover from surgery, I`m knitting another Äkäslompolo cardigan (that I designed for @novitaknits yarns) because I want one to keep! Just started the armhole steeks. The thing about having a rubbish memory is that every instruction comes as a surprise, even though I wrote it.
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Pattern currently available in Finnish in the Novita magazine, but I`ll be allowed to publish it in English in a couple of months` time.
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairislecardigan #knitdesigner #fairisle #fairislefriday #strikke #strikkedilla #virkning #garn #knitspo #knitspiration #novita #tricot #tricoter #steek #steeking #knitwear #stashknitting #handknit #handknitting #colourworkknitting #colorworkknitting #igknit #igknitters #strikstrikstrik #heirloomknits #knitting
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361 22

thetwistedyarn

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May 6

Open
Friday night post-work chillin'. 
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #Fairisle #fairiskefriday

Friday night post-work chillin`.
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #Fairisle #fairiskefriday
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319 4

thetwistedyarn

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May 9

Open
My implausibly awesome friend @buttonspickles has just published this sock pattern. This a woman who seriously knows her cables and her socks, so this pattern is worth checking out. There's a link in her bio for purchase.

My implausibly awesome friend @buttonspickles has just published this sock pattern. This a woman who seriously knows her cables and her socks, so this pattern is worth checking out. There`s a link in her bio for purchase. ...

109 4

thetwistedyarn

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Jun 24

Open
Thank goodness I'm not a perfectionist. 
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#fairislecardigan #fairisletechniques #fairisleknitting #fairisledesign #fairisle #fairislefriday #strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting

Thank goodness I`m not a perfectionist.
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#fairislecardigan #fairisletechniques #fairisleknitting #fairisledesign #fairisle #fairislefriday #strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting
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200 14

thetwistedyarn

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May 27

Open
Fancy a new blog post? See link in bio or visit thetwistedyarn.com. @novitaknits

Fancy a new blog post? See link in bio or visit thetwistedyarn.com. @novitaknits ...

83 1

thetwistedyarn

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Mar 25

Open
Spring has never been more welcome. View looking upwards as I walked home after taking the twinnage to school. For once, I wasn't even knitting as I walked.

Spring has never been more welcome. View looking upwards as I walked home after taking the twinnage to school. For once, I wasn`t even knitting as I walked. ...

261 15

thetwistedyarn

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Nov 5

Open
My new dress design is in the latest edition of Novita magazine. OK so you'll need to speak Finnish to understand it, but six months from now I'll be allowed to publish the same pattern in English on my website. @novitaknits is awesome.

My new dress design is in the latest edition of Novita magazine. OK so you`ll need to speak Finnish to understand it, but six months from now I`ll be allowed to publish the same pattern in English on my website. @novitaknits is awesome. ...

186 15

thetwistedyarn

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Nov 27

Open
Fancy a new cowl to help you brave all this pesky weather? Free pattern at thetwistedyarn.com or see link in my bio. Enjoy.
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#stitchfiddle

Fancy a new cowl to help you brave all this pesky weather? Free pattern at thetwistedyarn.com or see link in my bio. Enjoy.
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#stitchfiddle
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368 20

thetwistedyarn

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Jan 1

Open
Speed-cutting the steek to fit into 15 seconds. Didn't quite make it!
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#steek #rowanfeltedtweed #fairisletechniques #strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairisleknitting #fairislefriday

Speed-cutting the steek to fit into 15 seconds. Didn`t quite make it!
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#steek #rowanfeltedtweed #fairisletechniques #strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairisleknitting #fairislefriday
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716 20

thetwistedyarn

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Nov 20

Open
Hairy trouble is afoot. See thetwistedyarn.com or linky in profile for new blog post.

Hairy trouble is afoot. See thetwistedyarn.com or linky in profile for new blog post. ...

212 6
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