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Notes From A Crime Scene

April 3, 2015 by The Twisted Yarn 17 Comments

Woe, ’tis a dark day, here at the ‘Yarn. A heinous crime has been committed. I’ve been working on the crochet house-bag (doing the boring stuff; weaving in dozens of ends – an ideal job for when you’ve got a stinking head-cold.) I have to say, it’s going extremely well and I’m rather excited about the finished product. It’s gone from this:-

house in bits

…to a proper 3-d house-bag with shoulder strap, but I’m hanging back from showing you until I can ta-da it properly. Thank you to commenters who endorsed my idea of working up a knitted version too. Patterns to follow.

Anyways, back to the crime scene.

Having sewn/crocheted the bag components, I decided to add a couple of extra rows of tiles to the roof before attaching it. But look!

Who cut my yarn????
Who cut my yarn????

Somebody, somebody, has been a-meddling in my project bag and has cut my yarn. Horrors! But who could it be?

The suspect list is short. I know I’m not guilty. And the Stoic Spouse is a careful sort, not given to random acts of fibrous sabotage. So that leaves the Toddler Twinnage. They’ve been paying an unhealthy degree of attention to my yarn snippers lately, and I bet it was them. But how on earth to determine which one? Interrogation has failed. And there’s no point in taking DNA samples from the crime scene. That’s the problem with identical twins.

True story: many moons ago, there was a heist at a jewellery shop. Detectives managed to get a decent sample of DNA from the crime scene which you might quite reasonably assume would lead to an arrest. But the problem was that the DNA linked back to a pair of identical twins… and nobody could establish which one of them had committed the crime. Being not stupid (the blighters), neither of the twinsΒ held up a hand to say, ‘Yeah it was me. How could you possibly accuse such a decent and law-abiding citizen as my brother of such a crime?’ And so nobody was ever convicted.

Do you see what I’m up against?

So I have no idea who cut my yarn. I effected a messy Russian join, thus ending up with a thick and lumpy patch of yarn with which to add more roof tiles to the house-bag. But I have a strong suspicion that the culprit is blonde, less than three feet tall, and obsessively pre-occupied with dinosaurs. Any ideas?

Filed Under: Crochet Tagged With: crochet, crochet bag, crochet house, knitting, toddlers, twins

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Comments

  1. greenclogs30 says

    April 3, 2015 at 10:24 pm

    One of our cats chewed through my yarn this week, and I didn’t even realise till it nearly disappeared through my hands mid stitch. I’m thinking it was a cat anyway … the husband did a good job of looking innocently surprised at my exclamation. Still leaves 4 furry suspects though …

    Reply
  2. tilleyb says

    April 3, 2015 at 10:24 pm

    Disaster! πŸ™ those pesky kids, mine’s the same. Obsessed with my projects and my stash. Jeeeeeez. Don’t know where he gets it from…

    Reply
  3. Henrietta Handy says

    April 3, 2015 at 10:36 pm

    Can’t wait to see the finished project. Good luck with the investigation, too πŸ™‚

    Reply
  4. Two Hearts Crochet says

    April 3, 2015 at 10:59 pm

    This was perhaps the saddest and most hilarious thing I’ve read in a long time. “Interrogation has failed.” lol I love it. I can’t wait to see it all finished! So adorable!

    Reply
  5. Jennifer says

    April 3, 2015 at 11:12 pm

    I think you’ll just have to give up the idea of finding the culprit. And put your projects on a VERY high shelf where no ladder, stool or chair can access them. Ha. Now you can be scared they’ll fall off a ladder ……

    Reply
  6. arlingwoman says

    April 4, 2015 at 12:51 am

    This may be one of those mysteries where the real criminal gets away. Or toddles off to the playroom.

    Reply
  7. pippa says

    April 4, 2015 at 1:54 am

    Working on my fair isle vest, I managed to cut the wrong yarn at a color change – welcome to the world of spit-spicing. Luckily this is a two-ply yarn, so I trimmed one ply out, and managed to splice the yarn back together with no lumps. But I do take responsibility for the cut – no toddler granddaughters to blame!

    Reply
  8. Gallivanta says

    April 4, 2015 at 3:21 am

    Ha! And this is only the beginning of twinnage troubles…..what might teenager twinnage get up to. πŸ˜‰ Of course you could always threaten them with micro-chipping!

    Reply
  9. Tajana says

    April 4, 2015 at 5:15 am

    πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ LOL

    Reply
  10. slippedstitches says

    April 4, 2015 at 2:22 pm

    Yes, the allure of snipping the yarn just like mommy. Time to get a project vault that is twinnage proof. I would also lay out some yarn for each, with tiny children’s scissors and let them snip away under your watchful eye so they can get it out of their system. They are looking to experience the “feel” of snipping yarn.

    Reply
  11. narf77 says

    April 4, 2015 at 8:50 pm

    That would be the least of your worries if you let Earl loose in your stash ;). I am making my sister a 50th birthday shawl. I am delving into the unknown and terrifying world of “crochet charts”, horizontal stitches and all kinds of terrifying things. I had a practice go yesterday and got SO hooked I didn’t go to bed till 10pm which is unheard of on a regular day but I helped Stevie-boy load, haul and unload 4 trailer loads of logs yesterday so I think I must be either seriously addicted to this pattern or rapidly developing the qualities of a yarn zealot. I actually coerced him into heading into town to buy wool for the project on a day when the whole city was FULL of Easter egg hunters maniacally scrabbling through supermarkets to fill their baskets…madness! I can’t wait to get to see the TA-DA! of the house bag. It is gorgeous and remember, you catch more bees with honey than you do with a stick (unless the honey is on the end of the stick when you have just reached no-man’s land…) Try this. “Whoever cut my yarn can have some extra Easter chocolate”. I am guessing that the toddler twinage, who have obviously mastered junior deceit, may not yet have “master of reverse psychology” tucked into their belts. Make sure you have both of them there at the same time as they will both own up to doing it but the one that REALLY did it won’t be able to stop themselves from saying “oy, you KNOW it was me!” or at least shoving their twin over in a toddlery tantrummy kind of way. You will then have outsmarted todlers, AND know who did it. You can then move on to the next stage of surviving your children, although you might not want to do that…it only gets worse! πŸ˜‰ Have a lovely Easter Ms Twisted and whoever dun it, those scissors are gorgeous. I can’t honestly say that I wouldn’t want to cut yarn with them. The problem might just be as simple to solve as getting yourself some pug ugly scissors for cutting yarn πŸ˜‰

    Reply
  12. Crochet Club says

    April 5, 2015 at 7:21 am

    Where there’s a pair of yarn snippers, there is bound to be a snip sooner or later… Lock them up well! (I mean the snippers…) : )

    Reply
  13. northmelbournemum says

    April 5, 2015 at 11:05 am

    Did you know however that twins do not have the same fingerprints?! Though chances of getting fingerprints of wool are probably non-existent. I’m not seriously suggesting this – just making using of my long ago PhD!!

    Reply
  14. Occasional Crafter says

    April 5, 2015 at 6:32 pm

    Ah. If it is the twins, now they know how scissors work… Maybe better your yarn than their hair..? (Although I do suggest full video surveillance. You say Stoic Spouse is stoic – are you sure he’s not secretly working on a rival crochet project and planning a big reveal seconds before yours?)

    Reply
  15. sweetlittlewood says

    April 7, 2015 at 4:16 am

    Thank you for the laughs! I had some yarn sabotage in my bag once (through a hole bundle of yarn) and I was ranting about someone not opening a box carefully with a blade. Unfortunately it turned out my craft scissors had fallen out of their little pouch into the bottom of my bag and had done the mischief… so sadly I was probably my own culprit for not putting them away carefully!
    Can’t wait to see the bag!

    Reply
  16. sweetlittlewood says

    April 7, 2015 at 4:27 am

    My husband just told me his mother had an ingenious way of finding culprits by asking questions in a wondering proud mother voice like:
    “Oh wow who did this amazing bit of art on the wall?!? Look at those beautiful colors! How artful!”
    When the boy (it was always one of the boys) stood up to say he was the wonder child who had produced such amazing work, sweet mother transformed into Mommie Dearest!

    Reply
  17. The Knitwit says

    April 7, 2015 at 5:49 pm

    Your blog posts are so engaging! Can you dust for fingerprints? LOL.

    Reply

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If you're thinking of starting a blog, I have one very important piece of advice: DO IT!
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(I wheel this photo out almost every year. It's the cake that the Stoic Spouse commissioned for my first blogiversary. It was delicious as well as beautiful, but unsubtle hints have thus far failed to persuade him to bake or order any further bloggy gateaux.)
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#blogiversary #knitting #knitdesigner #knittingdesigner #nevernotknitting

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.
If you`re thinking of starting a blog, I have one very important piece of advice: DO IT!
.
(I wheel this photo out almost every year. It`s the cake that the Stoic Spouse commissioned for my first blogiversary. It was delicious as well as beautiful, but unsubtle hints have thus far failed to persuade him to bake or order any further bloggy gateaux.)
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...

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Uh-oh. #knittingwithcats @stylecraftyarns ...

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The twinnage still like to stretch their creativity on 'the chair'. ❀ I'm worried that this chap is repairing the chimney whilst the fire is lit and smoke is emerging!

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188 17

thetwistedyarn

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Re-reading this fascinating book - Interaction Of Colo(u)r by Josef Albers - whilst I write the chapter about using colour in stranded knitting for my own book. Highly recommend the Albers book if you fancy a really deep dive into how and why colours behave so differently, depending on their neighbours. 
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairisletechniques #fairisleknitting #fairisledesign #fairislefriday

Re-reading this fascinating book - Interaction Of Colo(u)r by Josef Albers - whilst I write the chapter about using colour in stranded knitting for my own book. Highly recommend the Albers book if you fancy a really deep dive into how and why colours behave so differently, depending on their neighbours.
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairisletechniques #fairisleknitting #fairisledesign #fairislefriday
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141 2

thetwistedyarn

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Mar 11

Open
Good morning, lovely people. Isn't knitting just the BEST distraction?
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairisleknitting #Fairisle #knitdesigner #knitspo #stylecraftspecial #stylecraftspecialdk #knitspiration #fairislefriday #garn #strikke #virkning

Good morning, lovely people. Isn`t knitting just the BEST distraction?
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairisleknitting #Fairisle #knitdesigner #knitspo #stylecraftspecial #stylecraftspecialdk #knitspiration #fairislefriday #garn #strikke #virkning
...

302 9

thetwistedyarn

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Aug 15

Open
I usually just post stuff like this at my garden account - @the.twisted.garden - but I thought you might appreciate the colour. 
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Love this time of year, because there are so many different crops to be picked. Today: cabbage, beans, peas, broccoli, onions, tomatoes, potatoes, patty pan squash, opium poppies (for seed), plums, Japanese wineberries, strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries. Yum.

I usually just post stuff like this at my garden account - @the.twisted.garden - but I thought you might appreciate the colour.
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Love this time of year, because there are so many different crops to be picked. Today: cabbage, beans, peas, broccoli, onions, tomatoes, potatoes, patty pan squash, opium poppies (for seed), plums, Japanese wineberries, strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries. Yum.
...

263 23

thetwistedyarn

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Apr 16

Open
Kittens sitting in the crocheted garden. By the way, someone pointed out that there's a fake account pretending to be me: it's at thetwistedyarn_  I can't view it because they've blocked me, but if any kind soul would be kind enough to report it, I'd be very grateful. Thank you, my Fine Fibrous Friends!

Kittens sitting in the crocheted garden. By the way, someone pointed out that there`s a fake account pretending to be me: it`s at thetwistedyarn_ I can`t view it because they`ve blocked me, but if any kind soul would be kind enough to report it, I`d be very grateful. Thank you, my Fine Fibrous Friends! ...

299 75

thetwistedyarn

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Jan 29

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There's a new blog post at thetwistedyarn.com, or see link in comments.

There`s a new blog post at thetwistedyarn.com, or see link in comments. ...

187 0

thetwistedyarn

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Nov 22

Open
Crunching numbers for a pattern for @stylecraftyarns . Crunch, crunch, crunch. I love-hate this stage. 
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#knitdesigner #stylecraftyarns #stylecraft #nevernotknitting #knittingpatterns #knittingpattern #yarn #garn #strikke #virkning #strikkedilla #knitspo #knitspiration #winterknitting

Crunching numbers for a pattern for @stylecraftyarns . Crunch, crunch, crunch. I love-hate this stage.
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#knitdesigner #stylecraftyarns #stylecraft #nevernotknitting #knittingpatterns #knittingpattern #yarn #garn #strikke #virkning #strikkedilla #knitspo #knitspiration #winterknitting
...

113 3

thetwistedyarn

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May 3

Open
New blog post! See thetwistedyarn.com or link in bio. Warning: contains personal inadequacy and failure.

New blog post! See thetwistedyarn.com or link in bio. Warning: contains personal inadequacy and failure. ...

228 8

thetwistedyarn

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May 27

Open
Fancy a new blog post? See link in bio or visit thetwistedyarn.com. @novitaknits

Fancy a new blog post? See link in bio or visit thetwistedyarn.com. @novitaknits ...

83 1

thetwistedyarn

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Aug 3

Open
Previous design didn't work, but this one will. This is FUN.
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #knittersofinsta #strandedknitting #virkning #garn #strikke #strikkedilla #knitdesigner #knittingdesigner #nevernotknitting #fairisleknitting #fairisle @stylecraftyarns #stylecrafthighlandheathers

Previous design didn`t work, but this one will. This is FUN.
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #knittersofinsta #strandedknitting #virkning #garn #strikke #strikkedilla #knitdesigner #knittingdesigner #nevernotknitting #fairisleknitting #fairisle @stylecraftyarns #stylecrafthighlandheathers
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271 12

thetwistedyarn

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Nov 2

Open
Knitting on the rug beside the first fire of the season.

Knitting on the rug beside the first fire of the season. ...

175 7

thetwistedyarn

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Mar 16

Open
There's a new blog post at thetwistedyarn.com (or see link in bio). It's a little different from normal, as it pays tribute to my recently deceased aunt. But don't worry, normal yarny shenanigans will resume next post. 
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#copingwithgrief #grief #funeral

There`s a new blog post at thetwistedyarn.com (or see link in bio). It`s a little different from normal, as it pays tribute to my recently deceased aunt. But don`t worry, normal yarny shenanigans will resume next post.
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#copingwithgrief #grief #funeral
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148 8

thetwistedyarn

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Dec 14

Open
There's a new blog post at thetwistedyarn.com (or see link in bio). Just sayin'.

There`s a new blog post at thetwistedyarn.com (or see link in bio). Just sayin`. ...

162 3

thetwistedyarn

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Jun 2

Open
Places you can knit: deep underground in a cave!
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#knittinginpublic #knitinpublic #placesyoucanknit @novitaknits

Places you can knit: deep underground in a cave!
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#knittinginpublic #knitinpublic #placesyoucanknit @novitaknits
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109 0

thetwistedyarn

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Mar 5

Open
New blog post, right here: https://thetwistedyarn.com/2022/03/05/blue-and-yellow/

New blog post, right here: https://thetwistedyarn.com/2022/03/05/blue-and-yellow/ ...

174 4

thetwistedyarn

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Oct 31

Open
There's a new blog post in town. See link in bio or explore thetwistedyarn.com.

There`s a new blog post in town. See link in bio or explore thetwistedyarn.com. ...

157 5

thetwistedyarn

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May 22

Open
Sunday morning stitchery, fuelled by green tea. Watching insects bumbling about amongst the #nomowmay grass. Enjoying @novitaknits yarn.

Sunday morning stitchery, fuelled by green tea. Watching insects bumbling about amongst the #nomowmay grass. Enjoying @novitaknits yarn. ...

138 3

thetwistedyarn

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Jul 26

Open
For those of you remember Robyn-the-robin (my cheeky avian friend who fed from my hand and generally bossed me about for two summers), you may be interested in this. Here's a fledgling robin who hasn't even got his/her red chest yet, but follows me VERY closely around the garden. We've just had a little chat over some mealworms, and I'm optimistic that we'll be friends. 
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#robin #gardenbirds #tamebirds #gardenforwildlife

For those of you remember Robyn-the-robin (my cheeky avian friend who fed from my hand and generally bossed me about for two summers), you may be interested in this. Here`s a fledgling robin who hasn`t even got his/her red chest yet, but follows me VERY closely around the garden. We`ve just had a little chat over some mealworms, and I`m optimistic that we`ll be friends.
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#robin #gardenbirds #tamebirds #gardenforwildlife
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573 36

thetwistedyarn

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Jun 1

Open
Knitting and walking in the sunshine. ❀ 
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#knitspo #knitspiration #knitinpublic #knittinginpublic #knittingandwalking  #nevernotknitting @novitaknits #novitaknits #knitdesigner

Knitting and walking in the sunshine. ❀
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#knitspo #knitspiration #knitinpublic #knittinginpublic #knittingandwalking #nevernotknitting @novitaknits #novitaknits #knitdesigner
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130 2

thetwistedyarn

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May 11

Open
View from a sofa, as I contemplate ideas for a new blog post (that'll doubtless take weeks to be drafted and re-re-re-re-re-drafted).

View from a sofa, as I contemplate ideas for a new blog post (that`ll doubtless take weeks to be drafted and re-re-re-re-re-drafted). ...

168 18

thetwistedyarn

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May 2

Open
I finished designing a thing. @novitaknits yarns are lush. πŸ™‚
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedknitting #strandedcolorwork #fairisletechniques #fairislefriday #fairisledesign #knitdesigner #knittingdesigner #nevernotknitting #novitaknits #novita #garn #strikkedilla #strikke #virkning #knitspo #knitspiration

I finished designing a thing. @novitaknits yarns are lush. πŸ™‚
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedknitting #strandedcolorwork #fairisletechniques #fairislefriday #fairisledesign #knitdesigner #knittingdesigner #nevernotknitting #novitaknits #novita #garn #strikkedilla #strikke #virkning #knitspo #knitspiration
...

352 48

thetwistedyarn

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Aug 3

Open
New blog post at thetwistedyarn.com (see link in bio). Includes happy times with fellow Stylecraft Blogstars.

New blog post at thetwistedyarn.com (see link in bio). Includes happy times with fellow Stylecraft Blogstars. ...

159 10

thetwistedyarn

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May 9

Open
My implausibly awesome friend @buttonspickles has just published this sock pattern. This a woman who seriously knows her cables and her socks, so this pattern is worth checking out. There's a link in her bio for purchase.

My implausibly awesome friend @buttonspickles has just published this sock pattern. This a woman who seriously knows her cables and her socks, so this pattern is worth checking out. There`s a link in her bio for purchase. ...

109 4
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