Well, I’m back. Properly back, but more on that later.
The ridiculous thing was that in my IVF-befuddled state, I clean forgot to mention that my column is in this month’s Simply Knitting. Here’s a sneaky peek. I really must get on with writing the next one.
Anyway, to the point of today’s post…
There comes a point in many big projects where the novelty of the early stages has well and truly worn off, but the end isn’t yet sufficiently in view to draw you closer. You just have to keep on keeping on. And on. And on. Especially when your project has eight different balls/bobbins working simultaneously and has turned into a sort of fiendish crochet intarsia. (I really don’t like intarsia.) Also, you have to resist the temptation to run off to the yarn shop and buy some luscious variegated merino with which to knit a lacy top.

This is the very large and very adventurous furniture-related version of my house-bag, in its early stages. Quick mini-picture of the original because I know there are quite a few new readers around here lately. (Waves hello enthusiastically to y’all!) Those who’ve seen this a million times before, avert thy eyes sharpish:-
Now I apologise for being coy about this new project. If it works, it will be the craziest and most fun thing I’ve done in a long time. So I don’t want to give too much away. And if it doesn’t work, my humiliation will be displayed here for you all to laugh at. I have no shame, me. It involves a large piece of furniture, and it’s going to have a garden all of its own. I’m thinking of this for the lawn:-

That’s a 400g ball, by the way. There’s going to be a lot of lawn. I’m busy designing the flower beds, which will annoy the Stoic Spouse no end when he reads this, because I ought to be out there designing our real flower beds in our real garden. But somehow it’s easier to design yarny gardens, and you can keep planting them whilst it rains.
I’m writing up the bag pattern whilst I crochet, and working this new house is a useful reminder of some of the finer points I need to include for the pattern. This time round, I’ve learned my lesson and am adding to a chart as I complete each section. No more trying to remember what on earth I did from a few illegible scrawls in a notebook.
I’m working really hard on this project, so I hope to have it done pretty soon.
As I said at the beginning, I’m properly back to this blog, as of today. This is a bittersweet moment: much as I love the ‘Yarn, the reason I’m wholeheartedly back is that today was test day for my IVF and the result was a big fat negative. This was our last attempt, so we shall be sticking as a family of four. Don’t get me wrong, I realize how lucky I am to have the pesky, insomniac, food-averse, crazy Toddler Twinnage, but I still have a bad case o’ the broodies.
Of course I had to hide my sadness from the twinnage, so we went for a toddle around the village this morning, in order to admire the progress of summer. We met this chap/chappess: this was about to be a much cuter photo, until s/he realized s/he was being descended on by three over-curious people, and so did what hedgehogs do best and shut up shop.

And I’ve blogged before about the cherry-farming heritage of this village in times past. Though there are scant cherry orchards here today, the hedgerows are dotted with old trees, whose fruit is just getting ripe. Look! (Excuse wobbly photo but it was windy.)
In Oxfordshire villages, there may as well be a by-law that your cottage garden must be filled with hollyhocks, so we admired beauties such as these:-
…Which reminds me, I have some hollyhock seeds that I must plant in our own, real garden.
Time to keep on keeping on. And on. 🙂
As one of your newbies I appreciate the house bag picture – amazing! Sorry about the IVF – hope you’re over the broodies soon. xx
Thank you on both counts. (I love your happy rainbow crochet post on your blog, by the way.) Welcome to TTY. 🙂
I love your column, well done! 😀 And IVF … well, it sucks, tell me about it.
The hollyhocks are beautiful, we have them also in our garden, and every year it is a surprise which colour we get …
Thank you. (And I’m sorry you have cause to know about the suckiness of IVF.) I didn’t realize that the hollyhocks came up different colours in different years – that’s wonderful. Wish I’d got round to planting mine this year.
I’m sorry for the negative results! I do not have babies, even if I would like to have one so very much, so I do not know if I can totally understand how you feel!! Just hope that the good mood will reach you soon 🙂
The column is fantastic!Your writing style makes me feel happy and good every single time I read something of yours!! And the bag is STUNNING!!! A thousand of hugs are crossing the Channel!!
As always, you’re kinder than I deserve, but thank you for your lovely words. I hope I’m not being insensitive mentioning my failure this time when I am lucky enough to at least have children. I hope that your dream comes true sooner rather than later.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
I know that yucky not working IVF feeling. So very sorry for you. Sending you all good thoughts and hugs and whatever other good stuff I can get down the internet to you. xx
Thank you so much. I’m sorry that you have cause to know the feeling, though. So very many people seem to have been through the experience these days.
Love to you for the negative pregnancy test. More love for the article in the mag. And I am now envisioning a whole sofa covered in your knitting, with lawn and flowers and maybe even hedgehogs! Can’t wait!!
Yes! Hedgehogs in the crochet garden! You’re a genius! Thank you. (And thank you for the kind words re. the pregnancy test.)
So sorry to hear abut the negative result Phil, hope the broody feelings soon go. I have lots of hollyhocks in my front and back gardens. The largest one is 9′ 5″ (2.87mtrs) and has leaves the size of dinner plates! I might do a blog post about it!
Thank you. But WOW to the giant hollyhock! (For an awe-struck moment, I read your comment as the flowers were dinner-plate sized: that would be verging on scarily mutant.)
Very entertaining column – I feel exactly the same way about unexpected extra knitting/crochet time! Sorry to hear about the IVF suckiness though:(
Thank you. And thank you. 🙂
Welcome back Phil, I’ve missed your funny and interesting blogging. I’m sure you are heart broken about the IVF negative. A big hug to you from across the pond in the U.S.
I look forward to learning more about your wonderful part of the world.
Thank you muchly, as always. Your kind words are appreciated.
I’m so sorry to hear about your negative result, give yourself time, you are naturally going to be feeling pretty disappointed. Many hugs and thoughts xx. I loved seeing your cottage again, I shall love to see the supersize version! take care. x
Thank you, both for your kind words, AND for seeing the cottage yet again!
It’s lovely to have you back, but so sorry to hear the sucky IVF not-workingness. Thank you for being open about it though. Hope the broodies ease up soon.
I’m looking forward to seeing how the giant crochet house turns out, and just what furniture will be hosting it!
Thank you muchly. It will be a tad crazy – I hope you’re cool with that…
I’m a noobie, and very glad you’re back. Here’s hoping the broodies go soon. As you said, you have the twinnage. Love your pictures and article as always. I do not crochet because of the arthritis in my hands, but I do knit and loom knit on the bad days, and I must admit you’ve given me such ideas!
Ooh, loom knitting, I’m intrigued. 🙂 But I’m sorry that arthritis risks cramping your yarny style. My grandmother had the same problem, and I felt so bad for her, because she’d knitted her whole life.
When it is too much for the hands with the needles, I switch to a project on the loom. I will, hopefully, never give up knitting.
It’s been too long since I’ve read your blog! Have always so enjoyed your posts for your writing style and your humor, even though reading stuff on knitting does threaten my sense of masculinity a bit.
Must say, these words of wisdom of yours could apply to any project, (though I’m not sure how well “crochet” as a metaphor will work for the guy gender):
“There comes a point in many big projects where the novelty of the early stages has well and truly worn off, but the end isn’t yet sufficiently in view to draw you closer. You just have to keep on keeping on. And on. And on. Especially when your project has eight different balls/bobbins working simultaneously and has turned into a sort of fiendish crochet intarsia.”
Love your writing!
Thank you muchly.
Have been pondering what other genre of writing you could do so that a wider audience could enjoy your writing – because I think many would. Very sincerely. With you perspective and wit, interests and an eye for artistry, I think you’d make a wonderful travel writer. Think of all the opportunity to give your take on places, people, food, experiences, etc. Personally, I’d really enjoy reading your commentary on that. Maybe when the twins are bit older….Twisted, Twinage & Stoic Husband hit the road….
Why thank you, kind sir. Given your own writerly status, I take that as a compliment. But yes, the serious travelling might have to wait a wee while, unless I can fashion an anecdote out of a trip to the local shops for milk. Meanwhile I need to get on with sending my novel manuscript out to agents.
You’re writing a novel?!
Written. Done.
Congrats!!! I sure it’s wonderful and I can’t wait to read it. Please keep us posted! (I’m working on one too, but lacking the diligence of a disciplined knitter, it is not done. )
Oh crap! Really? I disappear for a while and reappear to find out all kinds of life harshness is going on in Oxfordshire? I am so sorry Twisted – I believe IVF to be fairly foul at the best of times and when it’s a negative – there is no end to the awfulness of it. It doesn’t matter if you already have two, being ready to welcome another and having that dream quashed is a hard blow – I know this! The upside though really is that you do have two and apparently for now they will be enough! I do know though of some who, having given up, discovered that this was a sure fire way of achieving the goal…….. and there’s always adoption if your heart is that huge ……
The house looks rather spectacular and I do hope you keep on keeping on as all kinds of things could find their way into the garden – hedgies, kitties, snails, perhaps even a Siddy…… a twinnage, a gardener, a boy stealing apples from the apple tree,,,,,,,,,,, How big is this bag?
Ooh, I LIKE your ideas for the details. Not sure whether I’ve got the skill to execute them.
Soooo glad you’re back! I love your house project and am looking forward to the way the garden will look. And writing the article must be so satisfying. I’m sorry the IVF didn’t work and hope you feel physically better soon, even if the disappointment takes a bit longer to get through.
Thank you. And yes, I think that time will help with all sorts of healing.
I am feeling for you… I don’t think it’s unthankful to feel sadness, even when one is blessed with so much. I’m sure you were invested very deeply in this and that makes the loss very real. It helps to remember what we have as a way of finding comfort and healing, but it doesn’t “cancel” the pain, and I think it’s important to remember that too. I hope I’m not infringing by saying this… I wish you healing and happiness. Thank you for sharing this, I think it’s brave and generous of you.
Thank you for your wise and kind words.
Sorry about your news, the broodies are horrid. Hollyhocks are compulsory in cottage gardens. Good luck with the project, presumably with hollyhocks!
Thank you. And I do fear a visit from someone in officialdom, to issue a formal warning about my lack of hollyhocks.
Sorry about the IVF. Love your blogs x
Thank you on both counts.
Sorry the IVF didn’t work out. I can’t imagine how that must feel.
I’m intrigued by the latest project and absolutely cannot wait to see it in all it’s glorious craziness 🙂
Thank you. (I’d better get on with the crochet, then.)
Sorry about the IVF not working this time. I’m sure it is hard to accept, especially when this is your last chance.
Thank you. It’ll get easier, I’m sure.
A big sigh and a virtual hug from a virtual stranger on your negative test. Certainly not even in the ball park but me, like many others, are very glad to have you back in blog land.
Thank you for such kind words! It’s good to be back in the land of all things colourful and fun.
Enjoy your blog as always Phil, but so sorry to hear about your negative result – hope the twins keep you (enjoyably) distracted – & the yarn of course! & yes, keep on keeping on, love & hugs, Dot x
Thanks Dots!!
Just stopping by to add my words of support–you have all the reasons in the world to keep on keeping on but you need to give yourself time to adjust to the new reality, too.
That’s kind, thank you. Anyway, I’m probably too OLD for this baby thing.
Certainly not!!
Really sorry to hear your IVF news. That’s tough. Be good to yourself.
Thank you. 🙂
Sending tones of good vibes and hugs!!!❤️
They’re appreciated! Many thanks.
I struggled to keep a straight face reading a few of the comments here, which consists of ladies discussing what is growing in their ‘front gardens’…. (I am off to hide in shame now for being VERY immature)…!
!! 🙂 🙂 🙂
I love the knitting project, and have a suspicion regarding what it will be when finished (but am now trying to be very mature, and not spoiling any surprises, so will keep quiet)…
It may not even work. In which case I – and it – will just look stupid.
Trying something new will never make you look stupid- projects that don’t work out are part of the creative process. I’m sure yours will work out though!
Congratulations on being published. ~applause~
You’re patience at crochet and knitting in doing such intricate patterns amaze me. You’re house-bag is so fun and enchanting.
Wishing you joy and a successful rest of the week.
🙂
Thank you. And wishing you a happy and successful week too.
Ca-Sara-Sara sweetheart..big hug and counted blessings for the gorgeous twinnage .. <3 intrigued about your humongous project.. 🙂
Thanks. (And I just hope the project works, having bigged it up here!)
Good to have you back. I hope you will soon be able to fully accept the size of your family. I can only imagine how hard this process must be.
I am really looking forward to your project. No pressure but I do expect at least a real life sized barn for a real sheep. And a real sheep moving into it. I distinctly remember that you promised us to buy a sheep to teach your husband a lesson 🙂
Thank you. (But now you’re just giving me more crazy ideas for even more crochet silliness.)
You’re bag or cover or whatever it is appears to be coming along wonderfully.
I wish I had a garden I could plant. I’m afraid the apartment I’m in simply doesn’t get enough sun to grow anything really. 🙁
Was that hedgehog wild? That’s so weird! I’ve only seen them as pets, but then again I’m in the US and as far as I know they’re not native to this continent.
Yes, the hedgehog was wild: they’re getting much rarer, though, sadly. The fact that it as openly meandering about in daylight makes me wonder whether it was entirely OK.
So sorry about your failed IVF – I know a little of that, not IVF, but after two bouts of PID related to the Dalkon Shield, and then a tubal pregnancy that ruptured and left me in ICU after 2am surgery, I was told there were no babies in my future. About two years later along came David – 11lb cesarean section, and was told he was a miracle. two years later, there was Bryn [a lovely Welsh name], and I decided at 37 it was about time to put an end to the miracles. This was almost 40 years ago, and my two sons are the delight of my life, with children of their own now. So never give up – if you are meant to add to your family it will happen, if not enjoy the Toddle Twinage and I hope they will be as good friends as my boys are. Hugs from across the Atlantic.
Thank you for sharing such a touching story. Goodness, your sons really are your miracles. And the Welsh do have all the best names, definitely.
I did a BIG squeal when I saw your column. Super cool, well done you. Sorry about the IVF. X
Ha ha, thank you. 🙂
That chart looks like Arabic Ms Twisted. I am not au faire with Arabic. Nothing like planning a real (or faux) garden to swish the blues away Ms Twisted. Keep up with that enormous furniture piece. It is keeping me madly interested and thus it is worth all of your hard work to keep me off the streets. I would be putting in for a grant from my local council for “pest abatement” if I was you ;). I am madly procrastinating the rear end out of a project that I am going to have to wing (no pattern) as well as something that means a lot to someone so I really want to do it right. I also have a glorious pattern for a tiny granny square hot water bottle cover that I NEED TO MAKE (note the capital letters and make of that what you will…) and a teeny tiny teddy to make for my lovely daughter in law who spun me some scrumptious chocolate brown alpaca wool (note to self, get your lazy bum off the PC chair and go spin some of your own!) You are right. Life does go on and the world around you goes on and pretty soon, “you” go on.
I do fear it’ll either fail dramatically or be a bit of an anti-climax, now that I’ve bigged it up online….
Now, you definitely need to go and make that hot water bottle cover. Right now. (Says she who hasn’t even started knitting for her neighbour’s week-old baby yet….)
Clever girl waiting to knit for the baby. They grow like topsy and the baby will be spilling out of all of it’s clothes soon. You should crochet the baby some converse booties 😉
Ah, so does that mean I can reframe it as wise waiting rather than procrastinatory incompetence?
Yes. Yes it does (so long as I can do the same).
wonderful to read your posts again! I’m so sorry your IVF wasn’t successful, and I’m suer everyone reading this wishes you all the very best 🙂
I thought perhaps a cushion was being fashioned, but now I am completely flummoxed by the lawn planning! I can’t wait to see what you come up with 😀 jenny xx
🙁 and 🙂 and hugs.
It’s wonderful to have you back! I’m sorry it’s not with happier news. Know that reading your posts always brightens my day. Lots of love your way.