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In Which You All Get To Laugh At Me.

January 7, 2016 by The Twisted Yarn 50 Comments

Smugness comes before a fall. Every time. I really should have learned that life-lesson by now. It never ends well when I start getting smug about anything at all. As soon as I do, life smirks to itself and throws a slippery banana skin in my path.

Anyway, I mention this now because of running. I still dislike running. It still hurts. But I grudgingly admit that it’s brought health/energy benefits and I’m definitely getting faster. I can even run up hills without concerned bystanders offering to phone the paramedics. Result!

jib15

Can you see the teeniest bit of smugdom beginning to creep in? Really it shouldn’t, because I’m not all that. When there are no other people in sight, I’ve been known to pause and cling to a lamp-post, cursing and wheezing heavily, only to set off again as though nothing is wrong as soon as I hear a car coming round the corner.

So on Sunday, I went for my usual run. I was thinking about the blog and about y’all as I ran, and mentally composing a post about how this ridiculously mild winter is making nature go a bit bonkers.

This post was going to be erudite. It was going to be fascinating. And I am not at all delusional.

I mean, look! There are daffodils in early January!

jib9

By the way, you can probably already see the photography deteriorating as this post progresses. I’m a shaky camera-holder at the best of times, and mid-run is not the best of times. You may wish to cling on to something solid whilst you view the rest of this post, to avoid yourself from feeling seasick.

Anyway, unseasonal daffodils! It’s an abomination! What’s going to happen to them at Easter when they should be flowering? And what’ll happen to all the bloggers who are waiting to write posts about all the lovely spring flowers?

Yes yes, I’m getting to the bit where I make an idiot of myself, honest. Gotta set the scene, my friend, gotta set the scene.

So… it was unseasonably, unreasonably, unfeasibly mild, and if you’re in the UK then you’ll know that it’s been raining a lot (enough to flood people’s homes in the north, unfortunately). It’s not reached an apocalyptic scale here down south, but it is a trifle soggy underfoot.

jib10
Non-Ideal Running Conditions

Despite all this, I was having a pretty good run. (See? Smug.) So I decided to add in a detour up to the allotment so that I could show you its progress. At which point I met the biggest of all puddles, the mother of all water accumulations, the emperor of all soggy toddler-magnets. (Free parenting tip from TTY: Want your toddler to come back from wherever they’re currently trying to run off to? Pour some water on the ground and call it a puddle. They won’t be able to resist. You’re welcome.) Anyway this puddle was like the nearest one in the photo above, but worse. There was no space down either side. I was wearing running shoes, not scuba gear, and thus could not just cheerfully splash through it, although with hindsight that’s exactly what I should have done. Ah hindsight, my old friend: I do wish that you wouldn’t always show up so late.

jib14

The obvious solution, I reasoned, was to sort of sidestep along the narrow edge of the lake puddle, hanging from the branches above and trying to ignore the brambles that were clawing at my clothes. What could possibly go wrong?

jib17
Yeah? Well I’d challenge YOU to take a decent picture whilst hanging from a tree.

Anyway, it all went fine.

Oh wait, no: that was just my fantasy. It didn’t go fine at all.

So there I was, swinging from tree to tree like a drunken monkey. No matter that a family of dog-walkers appeared at that moment. No matter that they got to stride through the puddle in their comfy wellies whilst I grinned manically at them from the bushes as though this was totally normal behaviour. Do you know, they looked at me almost as though I was being odd.

You can probably anticipate where this is going, can’t you? It’s going downwards. Because when you’re hanging from a tree, the only way is down. Rapidly. But hey, at least I had a soft landing. In the puddle. Which turned out to be surprisingly deep. And cold. And wet. And humiliating. Who’d have thought? And no I don’t have a photo of this happy event.

The family of dog-walkers must be credited for their heroic attempt not to laugh. Note, I merely say attempt. I swear that even the dog was sniggering. You can’t really blame them. I did land rather spectacularly splashily on all fours in muddy water at their feet. In their shoes (sorry, waterproof, fur-lined wellies), I’d have struggled to stifle a titter, too.

“Are you OK?” one of them asked.

This was when, with my dignity lost in the water around my feet, I resorted to extreme Britishness as a strategy and apologised, just in case I’d inadvertently splashed any of them, and asked if they were OK. Jeez, I couldn’t have been any more of a national stereotype if I’d worn a bowler hat and offered them tea. Still, it’s not as bad as the time I was polite(ish) to the scumbag who unsuccessfully attempted to mug me. “I say dear chap, do please refrain from stealing my handbag.” OK I’m paraphrasing – those weren’t my exact words.

Anyway, once again life has slapped me round the face with a wet haddock and reminded me, Don’t bother getting smug.

So I hope you’ll understand if the photo of our broad beans and onions at the allotment is unlikely to win any artistic awards, OK? It was the best I could do in the circumstances.

jib12

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ve earned some knitting-time.

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Filed Under: Outdoors Tagged With: comedy, crochet, humor, humour, knitting, running

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Comments

  1. Caroline Fox Betts says

    January 7, 2016 at 11:48 pm

    Loved reading this! x

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      January 12, 2016 at 1:30 pm

      Thank you. (It was quite fun to write, too.)

      Reply
  2. eclectichomelife.blogspot.com says

    January 7, 2016 at 11:51 pm

    hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa, sorry I am sitting here in my lovely warm house just gwaffing at you! I can so picture, your words speak volumes my dear. Hope you are suitable dried out and had a refreshing sip or two of the red and enjoying your knitting x

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      January 12, 2016 at 1:31 pm

      Well I’ve NEARLY dried out, but it’s only been a week or so since it happened, so it’s early days. 😉

      Reply
  3. wendelika says

    January 7, 2016 at 11:57 pm

    Well, yes, I did actually have a chuckle at your expense. Thanks. 🙂 At least you’re out there doing your best. I’m lucky to get 10 minutes of yoga in.

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      January 12, 2016 at 1:32 pm

      Glad I raised a smile. I’m impressed at your yoga, by the way.

      Reply
  4. dragontearsoflove says

    January 7, 2016 at 11:58 pm

    poor thing, (and yes, I’m sniggering, just like the dog). I’ve been there. I am so Irish(okay, American of Irish and German descent, likely), that I once picked a fight with the sidewalk and lost a portion of a tooth. I was even trying to be generous on the walk with the dogs I confused. And once, while wandering along the shores of Lake Michigan, stepping out onto wet rocks to get better photos of a light house too far in the distance for my poor camera, I met the bottom of the lake very quickly. Fortunately, it was not so deep there and no one was directly in the area to witness. I was also lucky enough to have a change of clothes. I believe the camera did an odd imitation of this scene in which it caught the bottom of my bag hitting water;-). We’ve all been there. Tonight, I’m going to safely knit and later complain about knit 1, purl 1 repeats;-).

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      January 12, 2016 at 1:33 pm

      Oh dear. 😉 But as you say, we’ve all been there. 🙂 Hope you stayed safe with your knitting. And thank you for sharing your stories.

      Reply
  5. nicolaknits says

    January 8, 2016 at 12:03 am

    I bet you had a nice hot bath when you got home, eh!

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      January 12, 2016 at 1:35 pm

      Oh yes indeed. 🙂

      Reply
  6. The Knitwit says

    January 8, 2016 at 12:53 am

    You definitely earned knitting time!! What a great post – not that you got wet but in how you took us through the story.

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      January 12, 2016 at 1:36 pm

      Thank you. And I confess that whilst this was happening, there was a tiny bit of me thinking, “Well at least this is good blog-fodder.”

      Reply
  7. narf77 says

    January 8, 2016 at 1:13 am

    I told you nothing good ever came out of running. Not sure if I have told you about my cycling shame. I was once lured into cycling for fitness. My brother gave me his special lycra and spandex gear (as he was no longer stupid enough to wear it) and more importantly (apparently) his “clips”. Clips are a way that you no longer have to rely on keeping your feet on the pedals as they are welded to the pedal by a clip thingo on your shoe (forgive me for not knowing the name, my history with clips was painfully short as you will find out if you keep reading). I thought I was the bees knees cycling my 40km a day in my spandex and thumbing my nose at the fuel guzzling trucks looming past me on my rides. Turns out karma was storing up a real good life lesson for me. I arrived back in town after a particularly long bike ride and turned to ride past the park to go home and realised that the park was FULL of scruffy, tattooed and most scary bikers. I decided to get off my bike and walk past them so as not to attract attention. I would sneak past them without them even noticing me and then scuttle back home. Alas, I had engaged the idea prior to engaging my brain and I completely forgot about the clips and my feet no longer being the boss of the pedals. I went to remove my foot from the pedal and it didn’t move. I then went to put my other foot on the ground to stop the bike from falling over and it, too, stayed on the pedals. As you can imagine, both feet on pedals and leaning over, isn’t the most dignified way for a 30 something woman to be listing near a park full (a bloody rally no less!) of scruffy bikers. I fell over sideways. They all looked. They all started roaring with laughter. It took me a good 5 minutes (that felt like 4 hours) to unclip my turtlesque feet from the clips, clack my way to pick up the bike and with all the dignity I could manage hiding under the heartiest blush I had managed for years, I “took myself away home”. I discarded the clips as soon as I got home. The lycra went not long after. The bike riding went quite quickly after that. Fitness has knobs on Ms T!

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      January 12, 2016 at 1:37 pm

      OUCH on your behalf! By the way, the Yarnharlot.ca has written of similar accidents with clips. Exercise is rubbish. 🙁

      Reply
      • narf77 says

        January 12, 2016 at 5:21 pm

        I walk the dog for just over an hour a day now and that is a tremendous mix of anaerobic and aerobic exercise. By the time I get home after a walk/drag with Earl, I KNOW that I have taken my body places that I don’t usually manipulate.

        Reply
        • The Twisted Yarn says

          January 12, 2016 at 5:29 pm

          Sounds far more impressive than my puny runs.

          Reply
          • narf77 says

            January 12, 2016 at 6:30 pm

            I practically need therapy after each walk.

            Reply
  8. pomegranateandchintz says

    January 8, 2016 at 3:40 am

    Oh, you poor love. No, no, I’m not laughing, really I’m not…..it’s just a little hiccup. Excuse me – have to dash. Can’t keep a straight face any longer……sorry…….

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      January 12, 2016 at 1:38 pm

      Are you SURE that’s not a smirk I can see on your face?? Because obviously it’s NOT FUNNY!! 😉

      Reply
  9. Born To Organize says

    January 8, 2016 at 4:50 am

    I’m extremely impressed that you continue to do something you don’t like, on a regular basis, and with such an ambitious schedule. I’m glad you’re reaping the health and wellness benefits, and hope you’ll look at this unfortunate incident with good humour.

    Last month I fell over the top of my knee scooter, just a month after foot surgery. I landed on the sidewalk, foot in the air, then managed a reasonably graceful landing by rolling on my back to protect the bandaged foot. My husband exclaimed “what have you done now?” which should alert you to the fact that he’s picked me up off the ground on more than one occasion. He brushed the leaves out of my hair, and I thought it best to simply go back inside to continue healing from the privacy of my couch.

    Onward.

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      January 12, 2016 at 1:40 pm

      Ouch, on your behalf. May 2016 be your year of no accidents whatsoever. (I have a similar friend. Every year or so, I get a phonecall from the local Accident and Emergency dept, asking me to pick her up after her latest broken bone…)
      Meanwhile, I’ve been too distracted to even begin reading that book. Must get on with it.

      Reply
      • Born To Organize says

        January 12, 2016 at 4:10 pm

        Thank you for that. I will aspire to no accidents this year. I’m slow now because I have to be. I should continue in that vein. I sat next to a woman at PT yesterday, who is now recovering from knee surgery AND a broken hip. She was feeling better after the PT, went outside to water her plants wearing slippers, and slipped on the pavement. Two months later, she’s now rehabing that same knee and a broken hip.

        As for your friend, she’s probably my sister from a different mother. I can relate.

        As for the book perhaps wait till you have a bit less going on. It will be there on your shelf when you are ready. You’ve been dealing with a work trauma and that must take a lot of emotional energy to process. Be kind to yourself.

        Reply
        • The Twisted Yarn says

          January 12, 2016 at 5:41 pm

          That poor woman at PT. Some people have horrible bad luck.

          Reply
          • Born To Organize says

            January 13, 2016 at 12:15 am

            That was terrible luck. She had such a good spirit about her, though, that I’m sure that is helping her through.

            Reply
  10. nanacathy2 says

    January 8, 2016 at 8:22 am

    It is a bit funny! Haha. Poor you! Haha ? . Once as a teenager I went on a walk with a new boyfriend through woods, over fields, nothing I wasn’t well used too. Only I was in shoes and not my usual wellies. We had to circumnavigate a very large puddle / boggle. I lost my balance and without thinking or remembering my non wellie status, plonked my foot down in the boggle to keep my balance! For some still unknown reason my resolution and perceived aplomb afterwards impressed new boyfriend!!!!

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      January 12, 2016 at 1:42 pm

      Fabulous! One of those moments when you just have to adopt an I-meant-to-do-that demeanour, which it sounds as though you achieved perfectly. Thank you for sharing the tale. 🙂

      Reply
  11. SGR says

    January 8, 2016 at 8:56 am

    I had to laugh and empathise at the same time. In my first year of teaching (wayyyyyy too long ago to disclose exactly when), I took a trip of bright eyed, bushy tailed treasures to the seaside. Who was the only person to fall in a rock pool? Yep, that would be me….. Funny thing was the kids were very sympathetic and very concerned for my welfare, but my colleagues were no help whatsoever for laughing….
    And in those days I didn’t knit so it took me much longer to recover.

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      January 12, 2016 at 1:46 pm

      Oh dear. Of course that had to happen when you were surrounded by your students. If you’d been out for a pleasant walk alone, you’d have kept your balance perfectly. Sigh. I hope your dignity has recovered!

      Reply
  12. Alice says

    January 8, 2016 at 11:13 am

    Ah yes, I have also encountered that puddle on the way to the allotments and very nearly took a bath (or perhaps a swim?) myself. I hope it was only your pride that took a bruising! 🙂

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      January 12, 2016 at 1:47 pm

      It’s a beast of a puddle, isn’t it?! Glad you haven’t succumbed. And yes, it was only my pride that was injured.

      Reply
  13. Gallivanta says

    January 8, 2016 at 11:22 am

    Oh dear, oh dear, I am afraid I am laughing. Would the twinnage have laughed or jumped in with you in sympathy? If they had been present, that is.

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      January 12, 2016 at 1:48 pm

      The twinnage would have done both, I think, with great relish. Sigh.

      Reply
  14. Joanne says

    January 8, 2016 at 12:00 pm

    I’ve just come across your blog & know I’m going to love it after this post, There were tears of laughter by the time I got to the end. I have had the misfortune of clinging to the side of a metal bridge when the path was icy to pull myself across & yes I did slip right at the very end xx

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      January 12, 2016 at 1:49 pm

      Thank you for your kind words, and welcome to the blog! (And OUCH to your own anecdote – hope you weren’t injured?)

      Reply
  15. Sharon says

    January 8, 2016 at 1:16 pm

    Oh dear. Poor ol’ you. I always knew running was a Bad Idea – unless the bus/train is a lot nearer the relevant stop than I am. Going faster under your own steam is what bicycles are for.

    Y’know, you have a great narrative style. Ever thought of writing a book, or even publishing a collection of your columns? You know, something to do now the Twinnage are off your hands for a few hours per day. Yes, I know, you had that marked down as knitting time!

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      January 12, 2016 at 1:52 pm

      I know: running is definitely A Very Bad Idea in very many ways. But at least you don’t get a sore bum, unlike with cycling!

      And a sincere thank you for your kind words about my writing. Blogging is a lot of fun. I have my occasional column in Simply Knitting, but I’d love to move on to some more substantial knitting/humour writing. (Meanwhile I really must get round to sending off my non-humorous, non-knitting novel to agents/publishers.)

      Reply
  16. smillerag2010 says

    January 8, 2016 at 3:05 pm

    This is epic on a scale I could see myself achieving. +1 for having witnesses. I’m so glad you aren’t injured. From the very first sentence I was anxiously worried that you had, as that’s life’s fondest way of knocking me down a peg or two. I hope you had a glass of wine (or two) and a nice hot bath to soothe the bruised ego 🙂

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      January 12, 2016 at 1:54 pm

      Thank you! And whilst obviously I don’t want anyone else to get hurt, I’m kinda glad I’m not the only one who does such foolish things. The only injury this time was to my dignity, although a broken limb might have healed more quickly…

      Reply
  17. Mullcrafter says

    January 8, 2016 at 11:20 pm

    I just know that if you lived beside me we’d be great friends. We have the same sense of humour. I haven’t fallen into a puddle in front of people but… I live on the Isle of Mull. I used to live in a house right beside the ferry car park. One day, when the car park was full because the ferry was due, and all the tourists were waiting and sight seeing from beside their cars, I decided to take my dog for a walk. Beside the car park is a little piece of waste land, with a boat slipway (for small boats) and a little bit of beach on either side. The dog was on his lead and he was in front of me, pulling as usual. We went onto the slipway and too late I discovered it was covered in black ice…. I gently began sliding down the ice towards the sea. There are no hand rails and absolutely nothing to grab on to. All I could think of was – I hope no-one is watching me. And being grateful that my house was immediately behind me because the only way I could rescue myself was to glide down into the sea and then step off the edge of the slipway onto the submerged beach and splosh my way back home trying to hide my face as I did so….

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      January 12, 2016 at 2:04 pm

      Yikes! Why do these things always happen at the worst possible moments? And thank you for such a kind comment. ‘Tis a pity we’re separated by many hundreds of miles and can’t compare humiliations in person. Sigh.

      Reply
  18. arlingwoman says

    January 9, 2016 at 12:48 am

    I knew I was in for a good laugh with your opening. The wrong shoes…can be problematic. But I’m glad you made it to the allotment–what gorgeous little beans you have–and in January!

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      January 12, 2016 at 1:56 pm

      Thank you on all counts. The broad beans are at rather an early stage, though. Dinner might be ready some time around April…

      Reply
  19. Barbara says

    January 9, 2016 at 3:16 pm

    Just found your blog…what a good start , I’m still laughing! If it makes you feel any better I landed on my bottom yesterday on a nice rustic(muddy) walk….I had the whole family laughing at me! Hope you dried out quickly. I had to sit on a plastic bag on the way home in the car;( Barbara

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      January 10, 2016 at 11:07 am

      Ouch! That sounds painful. I hope your body and your dignity have both recovered. Welcome to the blog. 🙂

      Reply
  20. jenpedwards says

    January 12, 2016 at 12:55 pm

    Oh my, Phil…I have not visited here in a long time, quite too long, you know…life and all…but it is just such a treat to read your “voice” which comes through so exquisitely and perhaps a bit painfully as I double over in laughter and wipe joyous tears from my eyes. You really truly have made my day with this ever so lovely account of a woman hearty enough to allow herself to be the subject of such laughter. I mean really…you are a writer every bit as excellent as you are a knitter. Thank you. Thank you for co to using to write your voice here about life, knitting, and the occasional hanging from tree branches!! Oi! Have a beautiful, on the ground, dry day!!

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      January 12, 2016 at 1:57 pm

      Gosh, thank you for such an incredibly generous comment. (Meanwhile I’m in awe of your artistic talent and skill.) This post was quite fun to write. And I confess that even as I was falling from the branch, a tiny bit of me was already thinking, “Well at least this’ll be good blog-fodder.” Sigh.

      Reply
  21. jenpedwards says

    January 12, 2016 at 12:56 pm

    Um…that is supposed to read “continuing…” Not “co to using”…ergh.

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      January 12, 2016 at 2:05 pm

      🙂

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Oops. | the twisted yarn says:
    February 15, 2016 at 11:49 am

    […] all right, I’ll tell you about what a dork I’ve been. Once again, it involved running. This emerging pattern of stupidity would indicate that I should possibly stop […]

    Reply
  2. Knitted Butterflies | The Twisted Yarn says:
    March 24, 2016 at 9:45 pm

    […] know, I mentioned the unseasonal daffs in my falling-in-the-flood post, but there were only a few of those. Now, you can’t move in Oxfordshire for […]

    Reply

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#stylecraftyarns #stylecrafthighlandheathers #newknittingpatterns #knitspo #knitspiration #nevernotknitting #knittingpatternsonline
...

160 3

thetwistedyarn

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Sep 6

Open
Hunter would like to inform you that after very extensive testing, he can confirm that @stylecraftyarns are soft and cosy and excellent for napping against. (Pictured: #stylecrafthighlandheathers and a cushion cover I designed with #stylecraftdreamcatcher ).

Hunter would like to inform you that after very extensive testing, he can confirm that @stylecraftyarns are soft and cosy and excellent for napping against. (Pictured: #stylecrafthighlandheathers and a cushion cover I designed with #stylecraftdreamcatcher ). ...

135 2

thetwistedyarn

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Apr 16

Open
Kittens sitting in the crocheted garden. By the way, someone pointed out that there's a fake account pretending to be me: it's at thetwistedyarn_  I can't view it because they've blocked me, but if any kind soul would be kind enough to report it, I'd be very grateful. Thank you, my Fine Fibrous Friends!

Kittens sitting in the crocheted garden. By the way, someone pointed out that there`s a fake account pretending to be me: it`s at thetwistedyarn_ I can`t view it because they`ve blocked me, but if any kind soul would be kind enough to report it, I`d be very grateful. Thank you, my Fine Fibrous Friends! ...

301 75

thetwistedyarn

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Aug 22

Open
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: CHECK YOUR BITS AND PIECES, PEOPLE! Today was the third of my annual post-cancer mammograms. Honestly, it's uncomfortable rather than painful, and definitely worth it.
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Also, top tip: if your hair is somewhere between chin and shoulder length, take a hair bobble to tie it back, so that it doesn't interfere with the imaging. (Longer hair isn't a problem, because it can be draped over a shoulder.) I forgot this time, and had to improvise with a surgical glove! By some miracle I remembered to remove the glove before venturing back out into the hospital.
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#breastcancerawareness #breastcancer #ibeatcancer #mammogram

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: CHECK YOUR BITS AND PIECES, PEOPLE! Today was the third of my annual post-cancer mammograms. Honestly, it`s uncomfortable rather than painful, and definitely worth it.
.
Also, top tip: if your hair is somewhere between chin and shoulder length, take a hair bobble to tie it back, so that it doesn`t interfere with the imaging. (Longer hair isn`t a problem, because it can be draped over a shoulder.) I forgot this time, and had to improvise with a surgical glove! By some miracle I remembered to remove the glove before venturing back out into the hospital.
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#breastcancerawareness #breastcancer #ibeatcancer #mammogram
...

396 32

thetwistedyarn

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Sep 10

Open
Knitting the 'spring' colourway of my next pattern. Nearly done. Yarn is @stylecraftyarns Highland Heathers. 
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#stylecrafthighlandheathers #strandedcolourwork #strandedknitting #strandedcolorwork #fairisleknitting #fairisle #fairislefriday #knitspo #knitspiration #knitdesigner #freeknittingpattern #garn #virkning

Knitting the `spring` colourway of my next pattern. Nearly done. Yarn is @stylecraftyarns Highland Heathers.
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#stylecrafthighlandheathers #strandedcolourwork #strandedknitting #strandedcolorwork #fairisleknitting #fairisle #fairislefriday #knitspo #knitspiration #knitdesigner #freeknittingpattern #garn #virkning
...

159 0

thetwistedyarn

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Feb 12

Open
Another day, another blog post. See linky in bio or thetwistedyarn.com.

Another day, another blog post. See linky in bio or thetwistedyarn.com. ...

89 0

thetwistedyarn

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Jun 2

Open
Places you can knit: deep underground in a cave!
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#knittinginpublic #knitinpublic #placesyoucanknit @novitaknits

Places you can knit: deep underground in a cave!
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#knittinginpublic #knitinpublic #placesyoucanknit @novitaknits
...

109 0

thetwistedyarn

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Jan 10

Open
Playing with Finnish-inspired motifs for a new design. 
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #knitspo #knitspiration #garn

Playing with Finnish-inspired motifs for a new design.
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #knitspo #knitspiration #garn
...

155 4

thetwistedyarn

View

Sep 15

Open
Whilst I recover from surgery, I'm knitting another Äkäslompolo cardigan (that I designed for @novitaknits yarns) because I want one to keep! Just started the armhole steeks. The thing about having a rubbish memory is that every instruction comes as a surprise, even though I wrote it. 
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Pattern currently available in Finnish in the Novita magazine, but I'll be allowed to publish it in English in a couple of months' time. 
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairislecardigan #knitdesigner #fairisle #fairislefriday #strikke #strikkedilla #virkning #garn #knitspo #knitspiration #novita #tricot #tricoter #steek #steeking #knitwear #stashknitting #handknit #handknitting #colourworkknitting #colorworkknitting #igknit #igknitters #strikstrikstrik #heirloomknits #knitting

Whilst I recover from surgery, I`m knitting another Äkäslompolo cardigan (that I designed for @novitaknits yarns) because I want one to keep! Just started the armhole steeks. The thing about having a rubbish memory is that every instruction comes as a surprise, even though I wrote it.
.
Pattern currently available in Finnish in the Novita magazine, but I`ll be allowed to publish it in English in a couple of months` time.
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairislecardigan #knitdesigner #fairisle #fairislefriday #strikke #strikkedilla #virkning #garn #knitspo #knitspiration #novita #tricot #tricoter #steek #steeking #knitwear #stashknitting #handknit #handknitting #colourworkknitting #colorworkknitting #igknit #igknitters #strikstrikstrik #heirloomknits #knitting
...

361 20

thetwistedyarn

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Jan 29

Open
There's a new blog post at thetwistedyarn.com, or see link in comments.

There`s a new blog post at thetwistedyarn.com, or see link in comments. ...

191 0

thetwistedyarn

View

Nov 5

Open
My new dress design is in the latest edition of Novita magazine. OK so you'll need to speak Finnish to understand it, but six months from now I'll be allowed to publish the same pattern in English on my website. @novitaknits is awesome.

My new dress design is in the latest edition of Novita magazine. OK so you`ll need to speak Finnish to understand it, but six months from now I`ll be allowed to publish the same pattern in English on my website. @novitaknits is awesome. ...

186 15

thetwistedyarn

View

Sep 18

Open
Half-way through the dragonfly motif on my Äkäslompolo cardigan. Speedy progress on knitting due to annoyingly slow progress on surgery recovery. Grrr....
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#strikke #strikstrikstrik #knittersofig #knitspo #knitspiration #strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairislecardigan #fairisle #fairisleknitting #steek #steeking #novitaknits #novita #äkäslompolo #knitdesigner

Half-way through the dragonfly motif on my Äkäslompolo cardigan. Speedy progress on knitting due to annoyingly slow progress on surgery recovery. Grrr....
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#strikke #strikstrikstrik #knittersofig #knitspo #knitspiration #strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairislecardigan #fairisle #fairisleknitting #steek #steeking #novitaknits #novita #äkäslompolo #knitdesigner
...

254 13

thetwistedyarn

View

Jan 1

Open
Speed-cutting the steek to fit into 15 seconds. Didn't quite make it!
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#steek #rowanfeltedtweed #fairisletechniques #strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairisleknitting #fairislefriday

Speed-cutting the steek to fit into 15 seconds. Didn`t quite make it!
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#steek #rowanfeltedtweed #fairisletechniques #strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairisleknitting #fairislefriday
...

716 20

thetwistedyarn

View

Jun 6

Open
There's a new-yesterday post at thetwistedyarn.com (or see link in bio). But just to respond to people's comments on the post, don't worry, I'm not injured or ill! I was just commenting on the universe's general propensity to cause trouble!
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#knittersofig #knittersofinstagram #knittersofinsta #knitspo #knitspiration #breaconbeacons #breaconbeaconsnationalpark #ilovewales

There`s a new-yesterday post at thetwistedyarn.com (or see link in bio). But just to respond to people`s comments on the post, don`t worry, I`m not injured or ill! I was just commenting on the universe`s general propensity to cause trouble!
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#knittersofig #knittersofinstagram #knittersofinsta #knitspo #knitspiration #breaconbeacons #breaconbeaconsnationalpark #ilovewales
...

127 4

thetwistedyarn

View

Aug 29

Open
New blog post at thetwistedyarn.com,  or see link in bio.
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@permaculturemagazine This post includes a heartfelt recommendation of Alan Carter's brilliant book about food forests.
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#stylecraftyarns #stylecraft #stylecrafthighlandheathers #strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairisle #fairislekjitting #tricot #tricoteuse
#garn #strikke #virkning #yarnspo #knitspo #knitspiration #knittingpattern #howtoknit

New blog post at thetwistedyarn.com, or see link in bio.
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@permaculturemagazine This post includes a heartfelt recommendation of Alan Carter`s brilliant book about food forests.
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#stylecraftyarns #stylecraft #stylecrafthighlandheathers #strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairisle #fairislekjitting #tricot #tricoteuse
#garn #strikke #virkning #yarnspo #knitspo #knitspiration #knittingpattern #howtoknit
...

183 0

thetwistedyarn

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Oct 31

Open
There's a new blog post in town. See link in bio or explore thetwistedyarn.com.

There`s a new blog post in town. See link in bio or explore thetwistedyarn.com. ...

157 5

thetwistedyarn

View

Jan 14

Open
Time to stop the colourful stuff for a while and begin crunching some serious numbers. Crunch, crunch, crunch...
Depressive Pencils = a fabulous gift from my super friend @toads_mum 
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#knitdesigner #knittingschematic

Time to stop the colourful stuff for a while and begin crunching some serious numbers. Crunch, crunch, crunch...
Depressive Pencils = a fabulous gift from my super friend @toads_mum
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#knitdesigner #knittingschematic
...

136 13

thetwistedyarn

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Feb 25

Open
When life imitates "art". Note the little crocheted kitten beside the pond, paws stretched out, just like the real thing. I had no idea when I crocheted/knitted this chair cover that I'd one day be a kitten-slave for real. #blackcatsrule

When life imitates "art". Note the little crocheted kitten beside the pond, paws stretched out, just like the real thing. I had no idea when I crocheted/knitted this chair cover that I`d one day be a kitten-slave for real. #blackcatsrule ...

291 9

thetwistedyarn

View

Jan 14

Open
Uh-oh. #knittingwithcats @stylecraftyarns

Uh-oh. #knittingwithcats @stylecraftyarns ...

231 15

thetwistedyarn

View

Dec 14

Open
There's a new blog post at thetwistedyarn.com (or see link in bio). Just sayin'.

There`s a new blog post at thetwistedyarn.com (or see link in bio). Just sayin`. ...

162 3

thetwistedyarn

View

Aug 16

Open
It's not often that my activities here and on my @the.twisted.garden page overlap, but sometimes you just need to crochet a hammock for your squash.

It`s not often that my activities here and on my @the.twisted.garden page overlap, but sometimes you just need to crochet a hammock for your squash. ...

223 20

thetwistedyarn

View

May 3

Open
New blog post! See thetwistedyarn.com or link in bio. Warning: contains personal inadequacy and failure.

New blog post! See thetwistedyarn.com or link in bio. Warning: contains personal inadequacy and failure. ...

228 8

thetwistedyarn

View

Aug 25

Open
Another crochet-to-the-rescue post! Two days ago I had more surgery, to deal with the outcome of previous cancer-tackling surgery. They installed a clever wound-vaccuuming device which was fine but inconvenient to carry. So I crocheted a device-carrier and now, life is so much easier! Yarn by @stylecraftyarns .

Another crochet-to-the-rescue post! Two days ago I had more surgery, to deal with the outcome of previous cancer-tackling surgery. They installed a clever wound-vaccuuming device which was fine but inconvenient to carry. So I crocheted a device-carrier and now, life is so much easier! Yarn by @stylecraftyarns . ...

303 30

thetwistedyarn

View

Jul 21

Open
@novitaknits have done a fabulous job of photographing my cardigan design. ❤ I HIGHLY recommend following their beautiful Insta page. Pattern out very soon. 
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairisletechniques #steek #steeking #howtosteek #fairislecardigan #fairisle #fairisleknitting

@novitaknits have done a fabulous job of photographing my cardigan design. ❤ I HIGHLY recommend following their beautiful Insta page. Pattern out very soon.
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairisletechniques #steek #steeking #howtosteek #fairislecardigan #fairisle #fairisleknitting
...

285 12

thetwistedyarn

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Jul 27

Open
Annnnnd breathe. Post-work knitting in the garden. Not shown because I don't have four hands: a large glass of wine and a book.
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#knittingoutside #strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairisle #fairisleknitting @stylecraftyarns #stylecraftyarns #stylecrafthighlandheathers

Annnnnd breathe. Post-work knitting in the garden. Not shown because I don`t have four hands: a large glass of wine and a book.
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#knittingoutside #strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairisle #fairisleknitting @stylecraftyarns #stylecraftyarns #stylecrafthighlandheathers
...

299 13

thetwistedyarn

View

Jun 1

Open
Knitting and walking in the sunshine. ❤ 
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#knitspo #knitspiration #knitinpublic #knittinginpublic #knittingandwalking  #nevernotknitting @novitaknits #novitaknits #knitdesigner

Knitting and walking in the sunshine. ❤
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#knitspo #knitspiration #knitinpublic #knittinginpublic #knittingandwalking #nevernotknitting @novitaknits #novitaknits #knitdesigner
...

130 2

thetwistedyarn

View

Apr 5

Open
The steeks are cut and it's beginning to look a lot like a cardigan (apart from the lack of sleeves, collar, button bands, buttons, and a really thorough blocking, but what's a few details between friends?) I'm excited that the knitted reality is coming out pretty much how I hoped when I created the design. Feel free to laugh at my hubris when it all goes wrong tomorrow...
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#knittersofinsta #knitspo #knitspiration #garn #strikkedilla #strikke #virkning #knitwear #knitdesigner #novitaknits #nevernotknitting #Fairisle #fairislefriday #fairislecardigan #fairisleknitting #strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting

The steeks are cut and it`s beginning to look a lot like a cardigan (apart from the lack of sleeves, collar, button bands, buttons, and a really thorough blocking, but what`s a few details between friends?) I`m excited that the knitted reality is coming out pretty much how I hoped when I created the design. Feel free to laugh at my hubris when it all goes wrong tomorrow...
.
.
#knittersofinsta #knitspo #knitspiration #garn #strikkedilla #strikke #virkning #knitwear #knitdesigner #novitaknits #nevernotknitting #Fairisle #fairislefriday #fairislecardigan #fairisleknitting #strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting
...

415 19

thetwistedyarn

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May 2

Open
I finished designing a thing. @novitaknits yarns are lush. 🙂
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedknitting #strandedcolorwork #fairisletechniques #fairislefriday #fairisledesign #knitdesigner #knittingdesigner #nevernotknitting #novitaknits #novita #garn #strikkedilla #strikke #virkning #knitspo #knitspiration

I finished designing a thing. @novitaknits yarns are lush. 🙂
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedknitting #strandedcolorwork #fairisletechniques #fairislefriday #fairisledesign #knitdesigner #knittingdesigner #nevernotknitting #novitaknits #novita #garn #strikkedilla #strikke #virkning #knitspo #knitspiration
...

351 48

thetwistedyarn

View

Mar 31

Open
Progress.
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@novitaknits
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#steek #knittersofig #knitspo #knitspiration #strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairisletechniques #fairislefriday #fairisleknitting #fairisledesign #Fairisle #nevernotknitting #knitdesigner #knittingdesigner

Progress.
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@novitaknits
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#steek #knittersofig #knitspo #knitspiration #strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairisletechniques #fairislefriday #fairisleknitting #fairisledesign #Fairisle #nevernotknitting #knitdesigner #knittingdesigner
...

395 16

thetwistedyarn

View

Jun 24

Open
Thank goodness I'm not a perfectionist. 
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#fairislecardigan #fairisletechniques #fairisleknitting #fairisledesign #fairisle #fairislefriday #strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting

Thank goodness I`m not a perfectionist.
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#fairislecardigan #fairisletechniques #fairisleknitting #fairisledesign #fairisle #fairislefriday #strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting
...

200 14

thetwistedyarn

View

Mar 25

Open
Spring has never been more welcome. View looking upwards as I walked home after taking the twinnage to school. For once, I wasn't even knitting as I walked.

Spring has never been more welcome. View looking upwards as I walked home after taking the twinnage to school. For once, I wasn`t even knitting as I walked. ...

261 15

thetwistedyarn

View

Nov 30

Open
Busy on the book. 
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairisleknitting #fairislefriday #fairisle #knitdesigner #knittingdesigner #rowanfeltedtweed

Busy on the book.
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairisleknitting #fairislefriday #fairisle #knitdesigner #knittingdesigner #rowanfeltedtweed
...

152 7

thetwistedyarn

View

Mar 7

Open
Public service broadcast by @thetwistedyarn! Steeks aren't scary.
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#steeking #steek #strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #garn #strikkedilla #strikke #virkning #Fairisle #fairisletechniques #fairisleknitting #knitspo #knitspiration #nevernotknitting #knittingblogger #knittingblog #knitdesigner #fairislefriday

Public service broadcast by @thetwistedyarn! Steeks aren`t scary.
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#steeking #steek #strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #garn #strikkedilla #strikke #virkning #Fairisle #fairisletechniques #fairisleknitting #knitspo #knitspiration #nevernotknitting #knittingblogger #knittingblog #knitdesigner #fairislefriday
...

345 31

thetwistedyarn

View

Nov 14

Open
Cutting the steek on a swatch. I promise that it's way less scary than some people think!
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#steek #steeking #cuttingthesteek #fairisletechniques #fairisletips #knitdesigner #knittingdesigner #fairislefriday #fairisleknitting #strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #rowanfeltedtweed

Cutting the steek on a swatch. I promise that it`s way less scary than some people think!
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#steek #steeking #cuttingthesteek #fairisletechniques #fairisletips #knitdesigner #knittingdesigner #fairislefriday #fairisleknitting #strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #rowanfeltedtweed
...

276 12

thetwistedyarn

View

Apr 30

Open
Washed ready for blocking... and mysteriously suddenly enormous. The swatch didn't behave like this!

Washed ready for blocking... and mysteriously suddenly enormous. The swatch didn`t behave like this! ...

263 25

thetwistedyarn

View

May 9

Open
My implausibly awesome friend @buttonspickles has just published this sock pattern. This a woman who seriously knows her cables and her socks, so this pattern is worth checking out. There's a link in her bio for purchase.

My implausibly awesome friend @buttonspickles has just published this sock pattern. This a woman who seriously knows her cables and her socks, so this pattern is worth checking out. There`s a link in her bio for purchase. ...

109 4

thetwistedyarn

View

Mar 22

Open
Knitting and walking in two colours at once. What could possibly go wrong...
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Yarn is lovely @novitaknits
Merino 4ply.
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#knittingandwalking #knitoutdoors #knitinpublic #knittinginpublic #knitspo #knitspiration #garn #strikkedilla #strikke #virkning #fairisle #fairisleknitting #fairisledesign #knitfairisle #fairislefriday #strandedcolourwork #strandedknitting #strandedcolorwork #nevernotknitting

Knitting and walking in two colours at once. What could possibly go wrong...
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Yarn is lovely @novitaknits
Merino 4ply.
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#knittingandwalking #knitoutdoors #knitinpublic #knittinginpublic #knitspo #knitspiration #garn #strikkedilla #strikke #virkning #fairisle #fairisleknitting #fairisledesign #knitfairisle #fairislefriday #strandedcolourwork #strandedknitting #strandedcolorwork #nevernotknitting
...

423 9

thetwistedyarn

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Dec 6

Open
Still knitting and walking. Photobomb of twinnage feet at the top of the photo. 🙂
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#knitinpublic #knittinginpublic #knittingandwalking #nevernotknitting #knitspo #knitspiration #rowanfeltedtweed

Still knitting and walking. Photobomb of twinnage feet at the top of the photo. 🙂
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#knitinpublic #knittinginpublic #knittingandwalking #nevernotknitting #knitspo #knitspiration #rowanfeltedtweed
...

169 1

thetwistedyarn

View

Apr 18

Open
I really should go indoors and do boring chores, but....
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#novitaknits #strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairislecardigan #Fairisle #fairisleknitting #fairislefriday #knitdesigner #knitspo #knitspiration #strikke #strikkedilla #virkning #garn

I really should go indoors and do boring chores, but....
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#novitaknits #strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairislecardigan #Fairisle #fairisleknitting #fairislefriday #knitdesigner #knitspo #knitspiration #strikke #strikkedilla #virkning #garn
...

365 18

thetwistedyarn

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Dec 6

Open
Want to knit a spot of Christmas cheer? New blog post at thetwistedyarn.com, or see linky in my bio.

Want to knit a spot of Christmas cheer? New blog post at thetwistedyarn.com, or see linky in my bio. ...

191 3

thetwistedyarn

View

Apr 26

Open
Decent weather for a run. Yes I do occasionally put my knitting down. The colours of this view are a statement, too.
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#running #freedomforukraine

Decent weather for a run. Yes I do occasionally put my knitting down. The colours of this view are a statement, too.
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#running #freedomforukraine
...

206 4
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