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Knitting And The Creative Art Of Parking

February 12, 2016 by The Twisted Yarn 27 Comments

So I’ve been working funny days this week, and in between times I’ve been knitting and knitting and knitting an Yvette hat because, (i) it’s getting seriously nippy round here and the Stoic Spouse nicked my other hat, and (ii) my friend gave me some chunky, colourful yarn that’s perfect for the job. At precisely 3pm this afternoon I’m due to take my place outside in the twinnage’s school playground in order to help with the class cake sale, and if I’m going to stand out there freezing my bits off for very long, I NEED a hat. I also need some cakes, so I’d better go and pop the oven on in a minute…

Knitting at the twinnage's music group.
Knitting at the twinnage’s music group.

So all week I’ve been driving my car (known without any affection at all as the Stinkwagon) through the crisp and misty winter Oxfordshire countryside to work. The driving is the easy bit. Parking at the hospital is… a tad trickier. Unless you’re super-early for work, you need to be a wee bit strategic. Really, creative parking is an essential vocational skill. Given that all hospitals have parking issues, they should cover this stuff in clinical training.

A bit of progress, as I walk the streets (NO, not like THAT!) of Oxfordshire.
A bit of progress, as I walk the streets (NO, not like THAT!) of Oxfordshire.

Various options exist:-

  • Legitimate parking spaces. Congratulations: not only are you early for work, but you can also bask in your moral rectitude as you roll neatly into a designated space. Of course the downside is that any time you venture near the car park during the day, a convoy of hopeful drivers will follow you slowly and dolefully, sensing the blood of a possible imminently available space, and promising themselves that they’ll definitely get up for work earlier tomorrow in order to avoid this agony. That’ll be awkward if you’re just popping out to your car to eat your sandwiches in peace.
Yup, still knitting. Still, erm, streetwalking.
Yup, still knitting. Still, erm, streetwalking.
  • Not-strictly-proscribed places that nobody has previously thought of. We’re all creative people here, yes? Well some folk apply that creativity to their parking. You’ve gotta admire them for their originality in manoeuvring their car on to the old tennis court or up a tree, but let’s allow them to test out that newfound option first to see whether they get into trouble before you risk parking there tomorrow.
Still at it.
Still at it.
  • The mildly forbidden areas that would, in a more benevolent universe, be legitimate parking spaces. So let’s get something straight. Enthusiasm for your job is a good thing: everyone appreciates the employee who goes the extra mile. But the chap who painted the double yellow no-parking lines at work took the ‘going the extra mile’ concept a tad too literally and wiped out yards and yards of roadside space in the process. The cautious-by-nature and the super-well-behaved will avoid these spots, so really they’re just parking areas reserved for the mildly reckless. Count me in.
No way is that 11 inches.
No way is that 11 inches. (Oo-er…)
  • The ‘No (Parking) And I Mean It This Time’ places. If double yellow lines mean ‘no parking’, then double red lines mean ‘really really no parking and I’m not joking’ in the same tone of voice that your mum used when you were six and she was properly cross with you. Sometimes they’ll even add a couple of traffic cones as well, which ramps it up to ‘RIGHT, THAT’S IT! DO THAT ONE MORE TIME AND I’LL CONFISCATE YOUR TOYS’. Parking here is the best way to get a photo of your car emailed round the entire hospital with a sarcastic description of your idiocy. Of course if you’re madly proud of your car then you might want everyone to see a picture of it, but leaving your Lamborghini in the ambulance bay probably wasn’t the cleverest way of achieving that, yeah?
If I stay facing front, dyou think they'll notice that my hat is half-finished? No?
If I stay facing front, d’you think they’ll notice that my hat is half-finished? No?
And would you like to know the really sad thing? When I’d taken the selfie above, I decided to do a bit more knitting, but I couldn’t find my hat. Until I happened to glance at that picture again. Sigh.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: car, car parks, how to park, knitting, parking, yvette hat

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Comments

  1. The Knitwit says

    February 12, 2016 at 1:13 pm

    I absolutely love your writing style! It’s very upbeat and jovial.

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      February 12, 2016 at 1:19 pm

      Thank you. I do enjoy being silly, and I’m touched when people like reading my ramblings.

      Reply
  2. Maggie Storer says

    February 12, 2016 at 1:29 pm

    Love your witty posts too. I also like knitting but knitting doesn’t like me as it gives me a pain in the neck, so I have to take lots of breaks. I get there in the end, but I stick to easy to do patterns.

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      February 13, 2016 at 9:14 pm

      Oh no, that sounds like a special kind of torture. 🙁 (I’m sure you thought of this years ago, but have you tried different sorts of needles? Wood instead of metal or vice versa.) This hat pattern is very simple, by the way.

      Reply
  3. Linda says

    February 12, 2016 at 6:30 pm

    Your posts always cheer me up and give me a little bit of home which I sorely miss now I live on the other side of the Atlantic. Thank you.

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      February 13, 2016 at 8:50 pm

      Aww, thank you for such very kind words. I’m sorry that you’re missing home, but I can understand the sentiment. (When I briefly lived in Canada, I loved it but missed our ancient buildings and how our history is clearly etched on our landscape.) I hope there are good things where you’re living now, too.

      Reply
  4. narf77 says

    February 12, 2016 at 7:11 pm

    You’ve got some great skills right there Ms T. Love the hat. At least you didn’t put it in the fridge.

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      February 13, 2016 at 8:46 pm

      I’ve lived in Oxford and worked in its hospitals – I HAD to get damned good at parking.

      Thanks re the hat. It’s a lovely, easy pattern for mindless evening stitchery.

      (PS: just noticed your email address. ‘Tis a very cool email address. Don’t worry, I’m not about to spam it!)

      Reply
  5. thecontentedcrafter says

    February 12, 2016 at 7:38 pm

    I like that hat, finished or not!

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      February 13, 2016 at 8:42 pm

      Thank you. 🙂 It’s an excellent and very easy pattern.

      Reply
  6. dragontearsoflove says

    February 12, 2016 at 9:37 pm

    You’re right, that yarn was perfect for that hat…Now you just need to knit matching mirror fog preventers to place on your car for strategic parking purposes…Who could deny such a beautifully decorated vehicle it’s rightful parking space…you could even sneak out one night and paint a space to match, so all will know, the accessories must match the space…Then you could send out a memo, right? Kidding, but I relate as I circle the parking lot twice at school, hoping someone will leave class early today.

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      February 13, 2016 at 8:41 pm

      Ha ha, I love it! You really shouldn’t give me crazy ideas, though. Now I’m seriously thinking of yarnbombing the stinkwagon…
      And yes, I can well imagine that schools aren’t the easiest places at which to find parking, either.

      Reply
      • Gallivanta says

        February 14, 2016 at 11:08 pm

        Yarn bomb the Stinkwagon…yes, do it, do it. 😀

        Reply
  7. arlingwoman says

    February 13, 2016 at 12:00 am

    Parking is that thing that can turn us all Machiavellian…Love the hat and you don’t actually need makeup!

    Reply
    • Born To Organize says

      February 13, 2016 at 3:21 am

      Yes, exactly what Lisa said!

      Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      February 13, 2016 at 8:40 pm

      Agreed on the parking front, sadly.
      Thank you for the kind words. (As for the makeup issue, my phone seems to have automatically made my skin look glowing and healthy: the sleep-deprived, wine-soaked, ageing reality is a little different!)

      Reply
  8. nanacathy2 says

    February 13, 2016 at 8:49 am

    We have noticed in the local hospital that staff have the biggest and best car park whilst the sick and injured have 1/4 mile to walk from the smallest car park and have to pay a fortune for it. A relative undergoing cancer treatment in Oxford was told to get to the hospital by public transport because there was inadequate patient car parking spaces. Then take the disgusting and dreadful food provided it’s a wonder anyone gets better at all!
    Nice knitting by the way!

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      February 13, 2016 at 8:36 pm

      Eek, that doesn’t sound like a good balance. And having been a patient (or with a patient) at the John Radcliffe in Oxford quite a few times in recent years, I know that you do usually have to wait ages to find a parking space there. I hope that your relative is getting the absolute best care and treatment possible for their cancer. (There are some very very skilled medics working at that hospital.)

      Reply
      • The Twisted Yarn says

        February 13, 2016 at 8:37 pm

        (Just realized that your relative might be at the Churchill instead. Parking ANYWHERE in Oxford is a bit of a nightmare.)

        Reply
      • nanacathy2 says

        February 16, 2016 at 9:01 am

        Yes, it was the Churchill and they have had two all clears. Thanks

        Reply
        • The Twisted Yarn says

          February 17, 2016 at 8:43 pm

          Phew. (On the all clears.)

          Reply
  9. northmelbournemum says

    February 13, 2016 at 10:56 am

    It’s been a while since searching for a park at a hospital – but this brought it all back, so funny!

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      February 13, 2016 at 8:29 pm

      So it’s not just a British problem, then?

      Reply
      • northmelbournemum says

        February 14, 2016 at 2:15 pm

        You snapped me back to NZ, as if I’d been trying to park yesterday!

        Reply
  10. molly mixtures says

    February 15, 2016 at 8:04 am

    Love the hat, and love the parking humour. Our local hospital (enormous place) has about 30 parking spaces for all its visitors. I’ve seen fights break out in the car park for spaces! And it has some weird centrifugal force that makes you drive round and round until eventually you find yourself outside the hospital heading home without even realising you haven’t actually been in the hospital yet! X

    Reply
  11. Ady Grafovna says

    February 17, 2016 at 4:24 pm

    Street walking, creative parking, and knitting a lovely hat… GREAT post!

    Reply
    • The Twisted Yarn says

      February 17, 2016 at 8:07 pm

      Awww, thank you! You’re very kind.

      Reply

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Eight years ago today, I started thetwistedyarn.com. It was just a place to talk (and talk) about knitting. Gradually it became a place to photograph knitting and wildlife, too... and garden stuff, which led to the @the.twisted.garden page. Little did I know that my blog would lead to meeting you creative, witty, wonderful lot, plus a book deal, and some treasured real-life friends, a quarterly column in 'Simply Knitting' magazine, membership of the Stylecraft Blogstars, a TV appearance, and plenty else besides.
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If you're thinking of starting a blog, I have one very important piece of advice: DO IT!
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(I wheel this photo out almost every year. It's the cake that the Stoic Spouse commissioned for my first blogiversary. It was delicious as well as beautiful, but unsubtle hints have thus far failed to persuade him to bake or order any further bloggy gateaux.)
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#blogiversary #knitting #knitdesigner #knittingdesigner #nevernotknitting

Eight years ago today, I started thetwistedyarn.com. It was just a place to talk (and talk) about knitting. Gradually it became a place to photograph knitting and wildlife, too... and garden stuff, which led to the @the.twisted.garden page. Little did I know that my blog would lead to meeting you creative, witty, wonderful lot, plus a book deal, and some treasured real-life friends, a quarterly column in `Simply Knitting` magazine, membership of the Stylecraft Blogstars, a TV appearance, and plenty else besides.
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If you`re thinking of starting a blog, I have one very important piece of advice: DO IT!
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(I wheel this photo out almost every year. It`s the cake that the Stoic Spouse commissioned for my first blogiversary. It was delicious as well as beautiful, but unsubtle hints have thus far failed to persuade him to bake or order any further bloggy gateaux.)
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#blogiversary #knitting #knitdesigner #knittingdesigner #nevernotknitting
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thetwistedyarn

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Jan 14

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Uh-oh. #knittingwithcats @stylecraftyarns

Uh-oh. #knittingwithcats @stylecraftyarns ...

227 15

thetwistedyarn

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Jun 21

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The twinnage still like to stretch their creativity on 'the chair'. ❤ I'm worried that this chap is repairing the chimney whilst the fire is lit and smoke is emerging!

The twinnage still like to stretch their creativity on `the chair`. ❤ I`m worried that this chap is repairing the chimney whilst the fire is lit and smoke is emerging! ...

188 17

thetwistedyarn

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Dec 2

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Re-reading this fascinating book - Interaction Of Colo(u)r by Josef Albers - whilst I write the chapter about using colour in stranded knitting for my own book. Highly recommend the Albers book if you fancy a really deep dive into how and why colours behave so differently, depending on their neighbours. 
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairisletechniques #fairisleknitting #fairisledesign #fairislefriday

Re-reading this fascinating book - Interaction Of Colo(u)r by Josef Albers - whilst I write the chapter about using colour in stranded knitting for my own book. Highly recommend the Albers book if you fancy a really deep dive into how and why colours behave so differently, depending on their neighbours.
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairisletechniques #fairisleknitting #fairisledesign #fairislefriday
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141 2

thetwistedyarn

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Mar 11

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Good morning, lovely people. Isn't knitting just the BEST distraction?
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairisleknitting #Fairisle #knitdesigner #knitspo #stylecraftspecial #stylecraftspecialdk #knitspiration #fairislefriday #garn #strikke #virkning

Good morning, lovely people. Isn`t knitting just the BEST distraction?
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #strandedknitting #fairisleknitting #Fairisle #knitdesigner #knitspo #stylecraftspecial #stylecraftspecialdk #knitspiration #fairislefriday #garn #strikke #virkning
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302 9

thetwistedyarn

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Aug 15

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I usually just post stuff like this at my garden account - @the.twisted.garden - but I thought you might appreciate the colour. 
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Love this time of year, because there are so many different crops to be picked. Today: cabbage, beans, peas, broccoli, onions, tomatoes, potatoes, patty pan squash, opium poppies (for seed), plums, Japanese wineberries, strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries. Yum.

I usually just post stuff like this at my garden account - @the.twisted.garden - but I thought you might appreciate the colour.
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Love this time of year, because there are so many different crops to be picked. Today: cabbage, beans, peas, broccoli, onions, tomatoes, potatoes, patty pan squash, opium poppies (for seed), plums, Japanese wineberries, strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries. Yum.
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263 23

thetwistedyarn

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Apr 16

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Kittens sitting in the crocheted garden. By the way, someone pointed out that there's a fake account pretending to be me: it's at thetwistedyarn_  I can't view it because they've blocked me, but if any kind soul would be kind enough to report it, I'd be very grateful. Thank you, my Fine Fibrous Friends!

Kittens sitting in the crocheted garden. By the way, someone pointed out that there`s a fake account pretending to be me: it`s at thetwistedyarn_ I can`t view it because they`ve blocked me, but if any kind soul would be kind enough to report it, I`d be very grateful. Thank you, my Fine Fibrous Friends! ...

299 75

thetwistedyarn

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Jan 29

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There's a new blog post at thetwistedyarn.com, or see link in comments.

There`s a new blog post at thetwistedyarn.com, or see link in comments. ...

187 0

thetwistedyarn

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Nov 22

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Crunching numbers for a pattern for @stylecraftyarns . Crunch, crunch, crunch. I love-hate this stage. 
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#knitdesigner #stylecraftyarns #stylecraft #nevernotknitting #knittingpatterns #knittingpattern #yarn #garn #strikke #virkning #strikkedilla #knitspo #knitspiration #winterknitting

Crunching numbers for a pattern for @stylecraftyarns . Crunch, crunch, crunch. I love-hate this stage.
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#knitdesigner #stylecraftyarns #stylecraft #nevernotknitting #knittingpatterns #knittingpattern #yarn #garn #strikke #virkning #strikkedilla #knitspo #knitspiration #winterknitting
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113 3

thetwistedyarn

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May 3

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New blog post! See thetwistedyarn.com or link in bio. Warning: contains personal inadequacy and failure.

New blog post! See thetwistedyarn.com or link in bio. Warning: contains personal inadequacy and failure. ...

228 8

thetwistedyarn

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May 27

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Fancy a new blog post? See link in bio or visit thetwistedyarn.com. @novitaknits

Fancy a new blog post? See link in bio or visit thetwistedyarn.com. @novitaknits ...

83 1

thetwistedyarn

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Aug 3

Open
Previous design didn't work, but this one will. This is FUN.
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #knittersofinsta #strandedknitting #virkning #garn #strikke #strikkedilla #knitdesigner #knittingdesigner #nevernotknitting #fairisleknitting #fairisle @stylecraftyarns #stylecrafthighlandheathers

Previous design didn`t work, but this one will. This is FUN.
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedcolorwork #knittersofinsta #strandedknitting #virkning #garn #strikke #strikkedilla #knitdesigner #knittingdesigner #nevernotknitting #fairisleknitting #fairisle @stylecraftyarns #stylecrafthighlandheathers
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271 12

thetwistedyarn

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Nov 2

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Knitting on the rug beside the first fire of the season.

Knitting on the rug beside the first fire of the season. ...

175 7

thetwistedyarn

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Mar 16

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There's a new blog post at thetwistedyarn.com (or see link in bio). It's a little different from normal, as it pays tribute to my recently deceased aunt. But don't worry, normal yarny shenanigans will resume next post. 
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#copingwithgrief #grief #funeral

There`s a new blog post at thetwistedyarn.com (or see link in bio). It`s a little different from normal, as it pays tribute to my recently deceased aunt. But don`t worry, normal yarny shenanigans will resume next post.
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#copingwithgrief #grief #funeral
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148 8

thetwistedyarn

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Dec 14

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There's a new blog post at thetwistedyarn.com (or see link in bio). Just sayin'.

There`s a new blog post at thetwistedyarn.com (or see link in bio). Just sayin`. ...

162 3

thetwistedyarn

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Jun 2

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Places you can knit: deep underground in a cave!
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#knittinginpublic #knitinpublic #placesyoucanknit @novitaknits

Places you can knit: deep underground in a cave!
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#knittinginpublic #knitinpublic #placesyoucanknit @novitaknits
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109 0

thetwistedyarn

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Mar 5

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New blog post, right here: https://thetwistedyarn.com/2022/03/05/blue-and-yellow/

New blog post, right here: https://thetwistedyarn.com/2022/03/05/blue-and-yellow/ ...

174 4

thetwistedyarn

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Oct 31

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There's a new blog post in town. See link in bio or explore thetwistedyarn.com.

There`s a new blog post in town. See link in bio or explore thetwistedyarn.com. ...

157 5

thetwistedyarn

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May 22

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Sunday morning stitchery, fuelled by green tea. Watching insects bumbling about amongst the #nomowmay grass. Enjoying @novitaknits yarn.

Sunday morning stitchery, fuelled by green tea. Watching insects bumbling about amongst the #nomowmay grass. Enjoying @novitaknits yarn. ...

138 3

thetwistedyarn

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Jul 26

Open
For those of you remember Robyn-the-robin (my cheeky avian friend who fed from my hand and generally bossed me about for two summers), you may be interested in this. Here's a fledgling robin who hasn't even got his/her red chest yet, but follows me VERY closely around the garden. We've just had a little chat over some mealworms, and I'm optimistic that we'll be friends. 
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#robin #gardenbirds #tamebirds #gardenforwildlife

For those of you remember Robyn-the-robin (my cheeky avian friend who fed from my hand and generally bossed me about for two summers), you may be interested in this. Here`s a fledgling robin who hasn`t even got his/her red chest yet, but follows me VERY closely around the garden. We`ve just had a little chat over some mealworms, and I`m optimistic that we`ll be friends.
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#robin #gardenbirds #tamebirds #gardenforwildlife
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573 36

thetwistedyarn

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Jun 1

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Knitting and walking in the sunshine. ❤ 
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#knitspo #knitspiration #knitinpublic #knittinginpublic #knittingandwalking  #nevernotknitting @novitaknits #novitaknits #knitdesigner

Knitting and walking in the sunshine. ❤
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#knitspo #knitspiration #knitinpublic #knittinginpublic #knittingandwalking #nevernotknitting @novitaknits #novitaknits #knitdesigner
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130 2

thetwistedyarn

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May 11

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View from a sofa, as I contemplate ideas for a new blog post (that'll doubtless take weeks to be drafted and re-re-re-re-re-drafted).

View from a sofa, as I contemplate ideas for a new blog post (that`ll doubtless take weeks to be drafted and re-re-re-re-re-drafted). ...

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thetwistedyarn

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May 2

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I finished designing a thing. @novitaknits yarns are lush. 🙂
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedknitting #strandedcolorwork #fairisletechniques #fairislefriday #fairisledesign #knitdesigner #knittingdesigner #nevernotknitting #novitaknits #novita #garn #strikkedilla #strikke #virkning #knitspo #knitspiration

I finished designing a thing. @novitaknits yarns are lush. 🙂
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#strandedcolourwork #strandedknitting #strandedcolorwork #fairisletechniques #fairislefriday #fairisledesign #knitdesigner #knittingdesigner #nevernotknitting #novitaknits #novita #garn #strikkedilla #strikke #virkning #knitspo #knitspiration
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352 48

thetwistedyarn

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Aug 3

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New blog post at thetwistedyarn.com (see link in bio). Includes happy times with fellow Stylecraft Blogstars.

New blog post at thetwistedyarn.com (see link in bio). Includes happy times with fellow Stylecraft Blogstars. ...

159 10

thetwistedyarn

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May 9

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My implausibly awesome friend @buttonspickles has just published this sock pattern. This a woman who seriously knows her cables and her socks, so this pattern is worth checking out. There's a link in her bio for purchase.

My implausibly awesome friend @buttonspickles has just published this sock pattern. This a woman who seriously knows her cables and her socks, so this pattern is worth checking out. There`s a link in her bio for purchase. ...

109 4
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