[whispers] It’s done.
Let me tell you a story.
Once upon a time (an embarrassingly long time ago), there was a young psychologist who lived alone in a flat in Oxford. She loved her home very much and was happy there, but she didn’t have much spare cash, so not being able to afford an antique overstuffed armchair on castors, she went instead to Ikea, where she bought a Poäng chair:-
The chair served her well over the years, and was sat in without obvious complaint by a long succession of friends, family, and a couple of boyfriends.
Eventually, she moved out of her lovely flat and got married. The chair came too. (Well, it didn’t come to the actual wedding: she didn’t love it that much.) Her husband grew fond of the chair, which was fortunate because for his bride, it was pretty much a case of ‘Love me, love my chair’. But the Stoic Spouse understood that, and all was well.
The chair accompanied the not-quite-so-young-now couple through a succession of house moves, before coming to rest in their long-term home. And still, the faithful chair accommodated bottoms of all shapes and sizes, with almost no complaint apart from the occasional creak.
By now, the definitely-left-their-youth-behind-some-time-ago couple had two small children, and the chair accepted its fate of being climbed on and used as part of a den.
Which brings us up to about a year ago. After so many years of loyal service, the chair was understandably looking the tiniest bit shabby around its edges. So like many things in the house – including the building itself – it fell victim to yarn-bombing. Frankly, anything in this house that’s not moving is vulnerable to being yarn-bombed. That’s why guests don’t tend to stay very long.
The let’s-face-it-middle-aged-now psychologist had once designed a crochet bag shaped like a cottage, and in a moment when reason abandoned her, she decided that it would be a good idea to make a larger-scale version to cover the chair. There was probably wine involved in this ridiculous impulse.
So she set about crocheting the cottage, and also a garden which would form the seat of the chair. (There were a few knitted bits too, such as the pond and the picnic blanket.) And when her hooks and knitting needles weren’t up to the job, she picked up her darning needle and embroidered flowers, and leaves, and little rows of vegetables, and a pigeon, and a door-knocker, and…
This work took some time. I have no idea how many hundreds (thousands?) of hours have gone into this chair cover. Then one day (yesterday, as it so happens), she was busy attaching a small embroidered seagull to the roof of the cottage. She fixed its feet in place, wove in the ends, and then she realized…
…It was done.
Not just the seagull (which had been fiddly enough – do you know how hard it is to capture the essence of seagull in yarn?) but the whole thing. Done. Finished. Complete.
She stood back to look at her work, and she thought, ‘That, my friends, is completely and utterly bonkers. I shall not be making another.’
So shall we take a tour? The roof is crocodile stitch (see my tutorial), and walls are a brick stitch that I improvised, loosely based on equivalent stitches used by others. That rambling rose took flippin’ ages to embroider:-
The garden was fun, and provided plenty of blog-fodder along the way.
The lavender came out quite well:-
There was cake:-
And flower-beds and veg-beds that took an age to make.
The rambling rose needed a sturdy trunk:-
And whoever was to sit on the picnic blanket needed a good book:-
And just to make it realistic, there’s a pigeon in the vegetable patch:-
The pigeon is rather small, and was a tad fiddly to make:-
Want to see the back? It’s very plain:-
So, whilst I’m not about to rush off and make another one, I’ll grudgingly concede that this yarn journey has been rather a lot of fun.
Many of you have shown huge encouragement along the way. THANK YOU for your loyalty and kindness, you crazy enablers! I hope that the result has put a tiny smile on your face.
Meanwhile, I don’t know how much each tiny weeny little yarny stitch weighs, but the fact that the cover alone (minus cushion) weighs 2.5 kg (5lb, 6oz) should give you an idea of just how many stitches went into this beast. Quite possibly over a million.
All sorts of yarn was pulled into service, especially anything green. There’s hand-dyed merino and there’s mass-produced acrylic. But I do want to thank my friends at Stylecraft, because there’s a lot of Stylecraft Special in this thing, especially DK-weight amongst the flowers and pond, and their chunkier weights for the back of the cover.
Anyway, to conclude this family saga, the psychologist showed the Stoic Spouse the finished chair, and encouraged him to sit in it. But although he admired it and said nice things, he refused to sit, claiming that the chair cover might get damaged if people used it. The psychologist pointed out that she’d made it practically bomb-proof, and it was designed to be used. Still, the Stoic Spouse refused. The psychologist, being a reasonable sort, offered him a choice between sitting in the chair, and divorce. The Stoic Spouse chose divorce.
But what he doesn’t yet know, is that in the divorce settlement, I shall make sure that the only piece of seating he ends up with is this chair, so he will have to sit in it!
The end. (We’re not really getting a divorce, by the way.)
Gallivanta says
Beautifully bonkers. 🙂
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you. I’m taking that as a compliment!
blondie63 says
Your story gave me lots of chuckles! I like your husband would be afraid to sit in your beautiful art work! Wow your chair is fantastic!!! A masterpiece!!!! I hope some day to be that creative in my crafting!!! Have a great day! Hugz Lisa and Bear
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you so much. And there’s nothing stopping you from being so creative, except for the fact that you’re probably sane and I’m ridiculous. Sigh. Happy crafting.
blondie63 says
I love your insaneness sweetie tee hee
Vickie Kleeman says
Hi, That is absolutely amazing…… I have one of those chairs(so do many I expect!) but I can honestly say mine wont be getting a cover like yours! I have to agree though that it does look too good to sit on although I expect your children won’t be put off.
Whats next…… model village,famous monuments……..?
Once again I marvel at your brilliance!!! xx Vickie
vipera78 says
Lost for words! A chair cover? The expression “bonkers” also came to my mind…
Charlotte Copper says
Wow
Christina says
Absolutely amazing, now what next the world is your oyster. You could even yarn bomb the outside of the house though that might be a step too far for the Stoic Spouse!!!!!!
Sharon says
If she was to yarn bomb the house maybe it wouldn’t be quite so cold!
discovering says
lol
Caroline says
Fantastic! I bet the boys love it. What a mammoth project x
sjoriginalsblog says
Oh my word Phyl what a work of sheer genius!!! So very happy for you that you have finished this wonderful project and I hope that you have something else to fill those idle moments 😉 Thank you for sharing with us and I hope that you get lots of positive feedback. x
Sharon says
That chair! It’s amazing!!
I was wondering whether anyone would be allowed to actually sit in it, as opposed to just admire it. That’s always assuming they’d want to.
I suppose the twinnage will be using it for all sorts, as per normal?
Sarah says
A wonderful work of woolly art. It’s just amazing x
Sarah says
It really is amazing and very very beautiful! x
Wooliefeatures says
This is absolutely the most fantastic thing I have ever seen in my life! Such a work of art!! (And a labour of love I imagine). Congratulations on finishing it!
Lee says
It’s truly beautiful. A real work of art.
Mike Walker says
You’re round the bend! Can’t have much time for psychologing.
78thStitch says
This has put a huge smile on my face – it’s absolutely fantastic!!! My husband isn’t so sure and is pleading me not to follow your example (I won’t – there can only be one cottage-and-garden chair in existence) but this has really brightened my day. Congratulations!!!
Shannon says
That is absolutely magnificent!!
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you!
Tajana says
You did one of the most amazing project I have ever seen! The only thing I can do is bow in fron your amazing chair! You gave a new life to an piece of furniture which served you for such a long time.. <3 <3 <3
Bravo, Phil!
The Twisted Yarn says
As always, my dear, thank you. You’ll always be far more skilled with a hook than I am, but I’m grateful for your generous words.
Tajana says
Oh,no no! Absolutely not! You are the best! I mean it!! Who, for God’s sake, can do a marvel as you did??? Chapeau!
hawthorn-livelovecraft says
That is incredible! Absolutely amazing 🙂 so …. now what? Yarn bombed sofa in the guise as a small rural village complete with Tour de Yorkshire type bicycle event and sheep on the hills? Can’t wait to see what you get up to next!
The Twisted Yarn says
Well yes, now you mention it, that does sound like rather a good idea…
Rebecca says
That is quite simply the best thing in yarn I have ever seen!. Congratulations, you are marvellous and so is your chair 🙂
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you. I don’t deserve such kindness. But thank you anyway.
Rainbow Junkie says
I have two poang chairs just like yours and they are so useful, light weight and yet so comfortable but like your husband I could never sit on your beautiful cottage and garden cover. 🙁 Certainly a work of love!
The Twisted Yarn says
…So you should definitely yarn-bomb BOTH of your chairs and post about it on RJC. 🙂
Sue says
So impressed with the detail on this, it is so, so clever. I’ve been watching it develop but never in a million years thought it would be for a chair – it looks perfect. If I’d put that much work into something though, NO-ONE would be allowed to sit on it!
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you so much. But now it’s done, I’m kinda ‘over it’, so I really don’t mind who parks their rear amongst the flower-beds…
Ellie Ribeiro Beaman says
Absolutely exquisite and bonkers, Phil! I hope you get lots of requests to loan the chair for exhibitions and shows, Rourke e because it deserves to tour the world!
The Twisted Yarn says
Yikes, I’m not sure it’s in that league! But thank you for a local vote of confidence, nonetheless. 🙂
Sarah says
Absolutely amazing! I don’t know whether I’m more impressed by the skill, the creativity, or the perseverance. Truly bonkers. In a good way.
The Twisted Yarn says
I’ll take ‘bonkers’ as a compliment, but I’m not sure I can agree with the rest of your very generous comment. Thank you.
calypso says
So lovely! Great! I love it!
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you! 🙂
discovering says
Oh, wow!!
Really love the chair!
AND the story 🙂
The Twisted Yarn says
Huge thank yous on both counts.
dressedincrochet says
Love love love!
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! (Especially as you’re a long-term loyalist round these ‘ere parts.)
Gwauacrosio says
It is terrific. Thank goodness you don’t have a sofa in need of recovering…or…?!!!
The Twisted Yarn says
Yup, I’m eyeing up the sofa as we speak…
Carolyn says
This is amazing! You should keep it just as it is, as a work of art. No one should park their butt in it! It’s too beautiful to be flattened and matted down!
The Twisted Yarn says
But the twinnage moved in immediately and parked their toy cars and diggers all over it. I’m not sure I have much choice in the matter…
Janet says
Superb!
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you!
carolegodfrey46 says
I’m amazed you covered a chair with it! Like everyone else I have been waiting to see it finished, but never expected that. It’s brilliant !
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you – you’re very kind. And I’m glad that it wasn’t ridiculously obvious how the thing would turn out. 🙂
Jayne Jarrett says
It’s wonderful, but I agree it is not for sitting on . Would you sit on Mona Lisa’s face . That sounds wrong ! But you know what I mean art and all jj
The Twisted Yarn says
Tee hee, yes I know what you mean! But I don’t think that my yarny silliness is QUITE in the same league as the Mona Lisa…
captelaine says
WOW… I’m with your spouse I’d not want to get cake on my bum, or squish the flowers… It is absolutely AMAZING… I be the twins love it. Bravo.
The Twisted Yarn says
Sigh. EVERYONE is with my spouse. You realize that this is going to go to his head and he’ll be unbearably smug?
But thank you for your kind words.
Nice piece of work says
You are a crazy crochet lady. 🙂
The Twisted Yarn says
Yup. 🙂
Mary says
It belongs in a knitting museum!!!
What’s going to possess you next, now that you have all this added time?
The Twisted Yarn says
Well I was wondering about yarn-bombing the entire sofa in a similar vein…
Rosemary Large says
Absolutely brilliant! My husband just raised his eyebrows! I’m totally in awe, would love to do something like that ( I think that’s what he’s afraid of!), but I wouldn’t know where to start and would spend too much time thinking about it.
The Twisted Yarn says
JUST DO IT!
It sounds as though your husband is saner than either of us, though.
Fran says
I love it. Like your other readers, I have speculated on what it was to be, I though maybe a cover for a small table, though the gardens baffled me. I would think that the garden parts might make for not quite comfy sitting, but I envision the twinnage having a great time playing in the garden.
The Twisted Yarn says
Oh yes, the twinnage love it. Every time I come into the room, I find toy cars on the lawn and a digger in the vegetable bed. It’s a good thing I’m not precious about things that I make.
And thank you for your kind comment.
Liz B. says
It is amazing, beautiful, fascinating and I absolutely love it! And I never guessed it would become a chair cover – definitely not for sitting on!
Liz.
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you so much! Feel free to pop round and sit on it!
lovelucie1 says
Such a fabulous post! Had me smiling all through my lunch. An amazing project!!
I have the very same chair. I think I bought it for nursing my daughter in so that makes it nearly 16 years old and still going strong in our conservatory. It still has the same cream cover – but you’ve got me thinking now. Although nothing on this scale!!!!!!!
The Twisted Yarn says
I think EVERYONE has this chair.
But c’mon. You need to ornament yours. We both know that you could create something amazing…
rosie says
It is magnificent!!!!! Crazy, but t.ificentotally magn
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you. *blushes*
Tineke says
It gave me a lobsized smile on my face, love it. Ikea should never have guessed that their chair would end like this, an art project. I wouldn’t dare to sit on it too. Spouse is a art respecting man. Oldest son has a black one getting shabby. I can’t show him this. He would fell in love and wanted one. And I’m not the fiddly kind though that dove and seagull sure are tempting.
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you!
Spouse is worrying needlessly, because I had to make it practically bomb-proof since there are small children in the house. As I write this comment, the chair seat is covered with toy cars and diggers…
Dramatic Lyric says
Incredible! So much applause!
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you!
Marjorie Devlin says
Word fail me…simply speechless!
Wonderful, beautiful, inspirational, impressive…love, love, love!! <3
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you. I don’t deserve such praise, but I’m very grateful nonetheless.
Celeste says
Holy cow! Amazing! Had no idea it would become something functional. I’ve so enjoyed watching the whole process and all the details. I’m gobsmacked!
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you. (It is a bit ridiculous, though.) But thank you.
katactivity says
So you WERE doing something real! I love it. I have to say that I did suspect a chair because many years ago I contemplated something like it, (I love gardens), but in embroidery. It never did get done, or even started and I eventually sold the chair. Huge congratulations and I don’t think you are at all bonkers. .
The Twisted Yarn says
Of course you need to buy another chair and set to work, forthwith!
Meanwhile, thank you for being so kind about my paltry effort.
nicolaknits says
I have been following your exploits for some time and thought you might be covering an armchair. It is a work of art, for sure. And people don’t sit on works of art! Two words…freakin’ awesome!!
The Twisted Yarn says
No, it’s a work of bonkersness, and thus an entirely appropriate site to place one’s rear!
And as always, thank you for your kindness and loyalty.
wendelika says
Amazing. I think I would hesitate to sit on it, too. I’d be afraid of mashing the pigeon and the lavender. And what about the book pages?
Congratulations on finishing! ?
The Twisted Yarn says
Nah, they all bounce back. I had to make it bomb-proof because of the twinnage. As always, thank you for your kind words.
Pamela says
This is amazing!!
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you. 🙂
Margaret (Daisy) Lerner says
WOW!!!! i mean really, WOWZER!!!
totally amazing piece of art …
thanks for showing it to us!
sincerely,
daisy
The Twisted Yarn says
And thank YOU for being so nice about it.
spanishjanetjanet says
seem to have been waiting forever for the finished article, it was worth the wait absolutely amazing and of course bonkers. I wouldn’t sit in it either. do you have a cat? can imagine a cat curled up asleep on it.
The Twisted Yarn says
Apologies – it really has been forever, especially as the blimmin’ thing has spent a great deal of time stuffed in the corner of the sofa in disgrace.
But thank you for saying nice things.
Nope, no cat. (I’m allergic.) But that would be one cute photo…
josiekitten says
Truly magnificent Phil! I wonder what’s next… 🙂
The Twisted Yarn says
Something even more ridiculous, probably. Really looking forward to seeing you next weekend.
The Twisted Yarn says
Eek, those two sentences aren’t related to each other, honest!