[whispers] It’s done.
Let me tell you a story.
Once upon a time (an embarrassingly long time ago), there was a young psychologist who lived alone in a flat in Oxford. She loved her home very much and was happy there, but she didn’t have much spare cash, so not being able to afford an antique overstuffed armchair on castors, she went instead to Ikea, where she bought a Poäng chair:-
The chair served her well over the years, and was sat in without obvious complaint by a long succession of friends, family, and a couple of boyfriends.
Eventually, she moved out of her lovely flat and got married. The chair came too. (Well, it didn’t come to the actual wedding: she didn’t love it that much.) Her husband grew fond of the chair, which was fortunate because for his bride, it was pretty much a case of ‘Love me, love my chair’. But the Stoic Spouse understood that, and all was well.
The chair accompanied the not-quite-so-young-now couple through a succession of house moves, before coming to rest in their long-term home. And still, the faithful chair accommodated bottoms of all shapes and sizes, with almost no complaint apart from the occasional creak.
By now, the definitely-left-their-youth-behind-some-time-ago couple had two small children, and the chair accepted its fate of being climbed on and used as part of a den.
Which brings us up to about a year ago. After so many years of loyal service, the chair was understandably looking the tiniest bit shabby around its edges. So like many things in the house – including the building itself – it fell victim to yarn-bombing. Frankly, anything in this house that’s not moving is vulnerable to being yarn-bombed. That’s why guests don’t tend to stay very long.
The let’s-face-it-middle-aged-now psychologist had once designed a crochet bag shaped like a cottage, and in a moment when reason abandoned her, she decided that it would be a good idea to make a larger-scale version to cover the chair. There was probably wine involved in this ridiculous impulse.
So she set about crocheting the cottage, and also a garden which would form the seat of the chair. (There were a few knitted bits too, such as the pond and the picnic blanket.) And when her hooks and knitting needles weren’t up to the job, she picked up her darning needle and embroidered flowers, and leaves, and little rows of vegetables, and a pigeon, and a door-knocker, and…
This work took some time. I have no idea how many hundreds (thousands?) of hours have gone into this chair cover. Then one day (yesterday, as it so happens), she was busy attaching a small embroidered seagull to the roof of the cottage. She fixed its feet in place, wove in the ends, and then she realized…
…It was done.
Not just the seagull (which had been fiddly enough – do you know how hard it is to capture the essence of seagull in yarn?) but the whole thing. Done. Finished. Complete.
She stood back to look at her work, and she thought, ‘That, my friends, is completely and utterly bonkers. I shall not be making another.’
So shall we take a tour? The roof is crocodile stitch (see my tutorial), and walls are a brick stitch that I improvised, loosely based on equivalent stitches used by others. That rambling rose took flippin’ ages to embroider:-
The garden was fun, and provided plenty of blog-fodder along the way.
The lavender came out quite well:-
There was cake:-
And flower-beds and veg-beds that took an age to make.
The rambling rose needed a sturdy trunk:-
And whoever was to sit on the picnic blanket needed a good book:-
And just to make it realistic, there’s a pigeon in the vegetable patch:-
The pigeon is rather small, and was a tad fiddly to make:-
Want to see the back? It’s very plain:-
So, whilst I’m not about to rush off and make another one, I’ll grudgingly concede that this yarn journey has been rather a lot of fun.
Many of you have shown huge encouragement along the way. THANK YOU for your loyalty and kindness, you crazy enablers! I hope that the result has put a tiny smile on your face.
Meanwhile, I don’t know how much each tiny weeny little yarny stitch weighs, but the fact that the cover alone (minus cushion) weighs 2.5 kg (5lb, 6oz) should give you an idea of just how many stitches went into this beast. Quite possibly over a million.
All sorts of yarn was pulled into service, especially anything green. There’s hand-dyed merino and there’s mass-produced acrylic. But I do want to thank my friends at Stylecraft, because there’s a lot of Stylecraft Special in this thing, especially DK-weight amongst the flowers and pond, and their chunkier weights for the back of the cover.
Anyway, to conclude this family saga, the psychologist showed the Stoic Spouse the finished chair, and encouraged him to sit in it. But although he admired it and said nice things, he refused to sit, claiming that the chair cover might get damaged if people used it. The psychologist pointed out that she’d made it practically bomb-proof, and it was designed to be used. Still, the Stoic Spouse refused. The psychologist, being a reasonable sort, offered him a choice between sitting in the chair, and divorce. The Stoic Spouse chose divorce.
But what he doesn’t yet know, is that in the divorce settlement, I shall make sure that the only piece of seating he ends up with is this chair, so he will have to sit in it!
The end. (We’re not really getting a divorce, by the way.)
Debera Cary says
Amazing! Where will you sit now?!?!
The Twisted Yarn says
ON THE CHAIR!!!!!!
Phil says
What a fabulous creation – enjoy!!!!!
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you!
SueL says
That is absolutely brilliant – and well worth the wait (for your readers) and all your work. I love it.
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you. I was worrying that people might run out of patience.
gladeridercrafts says
Oh my gosh!!!! Well done!!!!! (Bet you won’t be starting anything that ambitious again for a while!)
The Twisted Yarn says
Well I was pondering yarn-bombing the entire sofa…
Andrea says
That’s incredible! I’ve been following your progress and it’s so nice to see the finished item. Will the garden ‘bounce back’ after being sat upon?
The Twisted Yarn says
Yeah. Seriously, it’s practically bomb-proof. I had to make it that way, with two small children (and my fat bottom) around.
narf7 says
Good heavens, I think she’s done it! What an amazing and most epic opus to your craft Ms T. I can’t begin to imagine how much planning, thought and effort went into this magnificent beast. I don’t blame The Stoic Spouse for not wanting to sit in it. It should be in a museum someplace. Does Stylecraft have a museum?! Maybe they should start one with this chair as the centrepiece. If I was to choose a single element of this glorious fandangle of a melding of crafts it would be that wonderful little seagull. He adds an element of feral joy to the piece and gives it wings. I bow to your ability to finish this piece Ms T. If it were mine, it would have been relegated to the “failed crafts cupboard” a long LONG time ago. You have shown your persistence, your eccentricity and your sheer, unmitigated bloody mindedness throughout the creation of this awesome piece and if I didn’t have a serious degree of respect for you and your abilities prior to the unveiling, I bloody well do now! Bowing and saying “We are not worthy…” Wayne’s world style as I sign off to marvel at the depth of your creative genius.
The Twisted Yarn says
I’m happy to post it to you so that you can indeed relegate it to the failed crafts cupboard!
But thank you anyway. Your encouragement has been a part of this beast getting finished. I’m not sure whether to blame you or thank you.
narf7 says
Both I think ;).
Brenda Breitkreutz says
Wow…wow…that is truly, incredibly amazing! Wow…
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you!
francispaul says
your chair is amazing and the story is hilarious!!!!
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you and thank you. 🙂
Sheila wllis says
That is amazing, I wish I had the patience and the expertise to do a similar project myself. Clever girl !
The Twisted Yarn says
You could… you really could…
Katrina Whitehead says
It is truly the most amazing thing I have ever seen….. (I was a little bit proud of my bedspread before I saw this!!!) I can’t stop looking at it 🙂
The Twisted Yarn says
You should still be proud of your bedspread! But thank you for your kind words, local crafty person! 🙂
stripeychicken says
Amazing said The Gruffalo !! I would not dare sit on it though. Congratulations. What an epic project.
The Twisted Yarn says
Tee hee, I’m not sure what the mouse would say, though. Thank you anyway.
I still have that book for you… and I haven’t even been up to the allotment to check on the progress of the broccoli. Are you around much at the moment?
garnharmoni says
Wow! Almost speechless! Such a wonderful piece of art that would be the star of any exhibition and at the same super cosy to have in the home.
Best wishes from (another yarn obsessive), Christina in Sweden
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you so much, fellow yarn obsessive. I don’t deserve such praise but I’m grateful anyway.
garnharmoni says
Worthy of praise and wonder indeed! ?
Julie Harrison says
It’s absolutely brilliant. I’ve loved the whole journey. You’ve had such a huge inventive imagination with this project. Unfortunately I’m going to have to agree with the stoic spouse that the garden must not be sat upon. All that work squashed under a bottom would be just wrong!! Love your blog you mad woman. Jx
The Twisted Yarn says
I’ll take ‘mad’ as a compliment! 🙂 However I’m VERY disappointed that everyone is agreeing with the spouse.
FionaB says
Oh my, what a brilliant, clever chair over. I am in awe but I have to agree with the spouse, I wouldn’t sit in it either! X
The Twisted Yarn says
Everyone agrees with the spouse. Sigh. It’s going to go to his head, you realize?
(But thank you for your kind words.)
if only I could read faster says
Seriously impressive. I happen to have the same Ikea chair that is also looking a bit tired, I don’t suppose that you’d be interested in making me one of these? I’m sure that it would be faster second time round 🙂
The Twisted Yarn says
Um…. possibly. I could maybe rustle one up in about 11 months this time??
dragontearsoflove says
Lovely idea, now you must have a family party to enjoy it, and allow the family to leave only the chair for the stoic spouse to sit in…much better revenge than giving up said favorite chair in a silly divorce;-)
The Twisted Yarn says
Tee hee, I like your thinking. Thank you.
(By the way, thank you also for your long-term kindness on this site.)
The Snail of Happiness says
Absolute genius… but I’d be cautious about sitting on it too!
The Twisted Yarn says
Nah, I had to make it twinnage-proof, so I’m sure that folk just sitting on it can’t do any harm.
Michal says
A wonderful result after glorious process! Or is it “glorious result” and “wonderful process?” Have you considered submitting to ikeahackers.com? Please do!
Born To Organize says
I was thinking the same thing!
The Twisted Yarn says
Oo, thank you for the idea. I didn’t even know that that site existed.
And thank you for your generous words.
Bollyknickers says
Somehow I had missed that it was going to be a chair cover – what a brilliant idea! It looks amazing and I’m blown away by the detail. But I’m also with the Stoic Spouse on this one as I don’t think I would want to sit on it and risk squashing bits. It’s too beautiful for merely sitting on.
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you. Seriously. (But please can someone at least pretend to disagree with the Stoic Spouse, just so that he doesn’t become unbearably smug because the entire internet agrees with him?!)
Didi says
Wow! This is so totally amazing!!! It is absolutely gorgeous! So much so, that I had to share it with someone when I first saw it early this AM, so I showed it to MY Stoic Spouse, who despite not being the least bit into knitting & crocheting – surprise! – was very impressed too. I must say that I agree with YOUR Stoic Spouse: one should not sit on it; one should simply stand back and admire it.
The Twisted Yarn says
Awwww, THANK YOU!!! You’re kinder than I deserve, but I’m grateful anyway.
Sigh: everyone agrees with the Stoic Spouse. You realize he’s going to be really annoyingly smug about this??
pomegranateandchintz says
Truly, truly amazing! You are definitely crazy, but so, so talented. And that seagull is so cleverly done and a fitting finish. It’s been fabulous watching your progress with this and I had no idea what you were actually doing, might it say……….I’m going to miss this project. Can you post pictures of the chair every couple of months? So, crazy psychologist, what’s next??
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you for such kindness (and for your long-term readership of this site). Hmm, please don’t incite me to any more crazy projects! From now on I shall only make small garter stitch scarves in one colour.
ANN M. says
It is a true work of art! I do, however, agree with the stoic spouse, no sitting on the chair. Time to find a different chair. I do love your masterpiece. Thank-you for sharing this with us.
The Twisted Yarn says
And thank you for your kind words.
Sigh. The Stoic Spouse will be terribly smug because everyone agrees with him.
karen crimson kettle says
A triumph. You really need two chairs though . . .
The Twisted Yarn says
Nooooooooooo!!!!!
Catessa says
That is one of the loveliest things I have ever seen! You are so talented, creative, surely very patient, and quite quite mad, Mrs Twisted. Perhaps you would share a bottle of red with me, while we gaze in awe and admiration at your chair?
The Twisted Yarn says
Yup, sharing a bottle of red wine sounds quite perfect. But forgive me if my gaze towards the chair is a little less than awestruck after swearing at the blimmin’ thing for a year.
Thank you so much for the generosity of your comment. Rioja or merlot?
Bonnie says
You have truly amazed me! This is a gorgeous piece of art, love and labor!
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you so much. You’re very kind.
M Curran says
This is amazing. I too would be reluctant to sit on it!
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you. But it’s designed to be pretty much indestructible… which is a good thing with small children around.
Abi says
Amazing work you have done, how much time and hours you must have spent doing this, I can’t believe you did it in a year, I think it would take me a LOT longer. I LOVE this chair, beautiful work from such a talented person, well done. 🙂
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you so much.
And I say a year, but I’m actually too scared to check the exact date in case it’s, like, ten years or something…
Nicola Nicholson says
Amazing and gorgeous! I would want to sit on the floor and use the chair as a playmat.
The Twisted Yarn says
Sadly, my children have had the exact same idea. The chair seat is now covered with tiny cars, and there’s a digger in the vegetable patch.
nanacathy2 says
This is just about everything I thought it was going to be, no frog! Its absolutley barmy bonkers and can I have it PLEASE. Pretty Please? No? Oh well. Plese enter it for the Turner prize forthwith.
The Twisted Yarn says
Well I’m pretty sure it’s not Turner-worthy, but thank you. I’m almost tempted to send it to you (especially as you’ve kindly hung around ‘ere for a good long time).
Amanda Gratton says
Just wow!
The Twisted Yarn says
Just thank you!
jennifershanlon says
Wow……..fabulous and must say I have enjoyed the journey of this wonderful creation …..
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you. 🙂 I haven’t always enjoyed the journey of making it!
Chrissie says
This is exquisite, truly beautiful. Agree with stoic spouse, I could not sit on this absolute treasure. I’ll be showing this to my other half later on. Splendid.
The Twisted Yarn says
(So would your other half agree to sit on it?!)
But thank you for your sweet comment. I deliberately made it pretty much bomb-proof so that it can be sat on.
cindyzs/freespiritczs says
OHHH MYYYY GOSHHHH!!! :O one of the most amazing this i have seen created!!! j:) ust love it! so awesome!! thanks so much for sharing this! 🙂 wow!! just woww! <3 <3 <3
The Twisted Yarn says
And thank YOU for such kind words!
Joanne Hortensius says
Simply amazing!!! What a masterpiece!! Love it!!
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you… a lot.
Ari Desarro says
I had heard rumors of a psychologist and a amazing chair yarnbomb but I would have never believed it!! Your story is one of the funniest I have read in awhile and put a smile on my otherwise glum face and a strange noise came out of my mouth that sounded like chuckle!! Kudos and wow! Your creation is gorgeous and whimsical at the same time!! I am in awe of your talent and your writing is not to bad either. Thank you so much for sharing your creation!! Is it going on the road by any chance??? Would love to see it in person!!
The Twisted Yarn says
Wow, thank you for such extreme kindness. If I make just one person laugh then my work is here is done. 🙂
As for going on the road, hmmm… maybe I should attach castors to the chair?
Marje Hughes says
That is the most wonderful yarnie thing I have ever seen!! I absolutely love it. I don’t blame your other half for not sitting on it, I would sit on another chair and admire it!
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you so much for your kindness. I think you should replace the word ‘wonderful’ with the word ‘ludicrous’, however…
Chris Scholes says
A wonderful mistresspiece, it should be in the V and A But then you would be a chair short. Thank you for sharing the journey from start to finish.
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you for words kinder than I deserve.
Actually, the Stoic Spouse’s initial reaction was, ‘Well that’s one chair less to sit on.’
But it’s definitely not worthy of the V&A.
prolificprojectstarter says
you are chuffing bonkers you know! Great chair, but too would be scared to sit on it, maybe you should get one of those red ropes to hang in front of it?
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you… I think?! 🙂
Sadly the twinnage would have no respect whatsoever for one of those red ropes. (They were badly brought up, you know…)
Allison says
It’s amazing! It took me ten years to knit a medium-size afghan out of worsted weight yarn, so I am amazed by your dedication. Good work!
The Twisted Yarn says
Hey, I understand. It took me five years to make a very simple patchwork quilt using a sewing machine, so I’m in no position to criticise your afghan effort.
Kris says
Without a doubt this is the most creative, amazing work of wine-fueled art I have ever seen. Truly one of a kind and amazing! ( I wouldn’t sit on the chair either).
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you. Perhaps wine-fuelled art should be a specific and respectable genre…
Karen says
Wow, that is absolutely incredible, well done. I don’t think I’d want to sit in it either and risk crushing all those beautiful stitches. It really is a thing of beauty and should be looked at and admired rather than sat on. I think you should admire it with a very large glass of vino in hand while you think up your next crazy project…??
The Twisted Yarn says
But SITTING in it with a large glass of vino would be so much more satisfying!
(Thank you for your generous words.)
Ann Shepherd says
I’m with the stoic spouse on this one. Far too beautiful to cover with a backside. Much better to sit on another chair and just admire this one. Well done you.
The Twisted Yarn says
Hmm, the problem is that we don’t have as many chairs as we ought to have… Perhaps it’s time to go chair-shopping.
(And thank you for your kind words.)
Postcard from Gibraltar says
Yes I too need to agree with the Stoic Spouse on this issue. Too utterly marvelous to sit on. It’s an absolute work of art which I have enjoyed seeing sneak peaks of over the months. You have done a wonderful job – I don’t have the words to do it justice… just WOW!
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you for your kind words… but I’m very disappointed to see everyone agreeing with the Stoic Spouse!
Postcard from Gibraltar says
Haha! Sorry!!! It’s so gorgeous though… wouldn’t want to squish those lovely flowers 🙂 There’s no other IKEA chair like it anywhere…
Dot says
That is just amazing! absolutely wonderful, beautiful, very quirky & quite, quite mad – I love it you genius!!! 🙂
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you, m’dear. (And please do come and visit, pronto.)
Bex says
Thanks for stopping by and following my blog! You have totally amazed me today since I discovered your chair! And your blog! And your talents! I just started to crochet recently after several decades of being away from it. I’m retired now and can do it all the time if I want, which I do! You are such an inspiration! We live across the Pond, in Salem, MA, but have been to the UK 8 times. Can’t travel now, but we stored up some lifelong memories of our favorite place in the world. We also have a chair just like yours, bought from IKEA, but the poor old plain cushion on it is screaming “decorate me!” now!
The Twisted Yarn says
Yup, you absolutely have to decorate your plain old Ikea chair! And then post it on your lovely blog.
And thank you for your very generous words.
Before today, I’d never heard of Dan Rather, but thank you for introducing me to his wisdom. And your teal-coloured blanket is looking gorgeous. 🙂 Happy hooking.
Katie Writes Stuff says
It was worth the months of suspense – this is incredible! I adore that final seagull, too.
There’s no way I could ever sit on that, though. I’d happily kneel beside it and marvel at every little detail that went into it but I couldn’t bring myself to sit on it.
So what are you planning to decorate next? I’m thinking your chair cottage needs a footstool with a Summer house, perhaps. Or maybe a holiday house by the coast in a smaller chair in an upstairs room. The possibilities are endless!
Yolanda Chavez says
I wouldn’t sit on it but I would play with it for hours. 🙂
EstherGrace Gilbert says
Have you sent this blog on to someone at IKEA who would no doubt LOVE to read it and see it.
You have truly created a unique piece of art furniture. It is spectacular!
arlingwoman says
This is really fabulous. 30 years from now, the twinnage will be remembering this magical piece of work on the chair. As for the stoic spouse, my only doubts about sitting on it would be whether some of the bits would feel lumpy, but I assume you’ve taken that all into account and it’s comfortable as well as gorgeous!