Morning all. Right, before we go any further, a quick announcement. I’ve just made all of my patterns free (using the code ANTIVIRAL at the checkout) because it doesn’t feel right to take money whilst people are losing their livelihoods. You can find the patterns here. Most of my designs were free anyway, but for now, they all are.
Anyway, to the subject of today’s post. I don’t usually discuss psychology stuff on here, because I like to keep this blog very separate from the day job, but I think that today might be the time to make an exception. There’s no getting away from the subject that’s on everyone’s minds right now: this pesky little virus that’s trampling all over everyone’s lives. So tiny, yet so RUDE!
So with my psychologist hat on (an extravagantly purple affair with orange sparkly feathers atop, in case you’re curious), may I humbly share some tips for surviving emotionally in these crazy times. The advice here is aimed at those of you who are stuck at home rather more than you’d prefer. Of course, you’re at an immediate advantage by virtue of the fact that you knit/crochet. That means you rarely face the problem, How am I going to fill this time?
There’s no getting away from the fact that we’re living in scary times. The frequency of use of the word ‘unprecedented’ is, quite frankly, unprecedented. It’s natural to feel anxious. You’re anxious. I’m anxious. Even my computer seems to be running its antiviral software more often than usual. But the risk is that unchecked worrying could lead to full-on depression/anxiety, and that is, by its very definition, NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY FUN. So here are a few things to consider whilst you’re stuck at home watching the world go bonkers.
- Goals. We all need ambitions. We need to feel that we’re travelling somewhere, even whilst we’re stuck at home with an uncertain employment situation and swarms of children who seem to think we’re their parent. But think: despite the constraints you’re facing, is there something that your time and isolation enables you to do that would normally be impossible? Learn the ukulele or the harmonica (via YouTube videos)? Start growing vegetables? Work towards doing 50 push-ups per day? Paint the kitchen? Master vegan baking? Meditate? Learn to speak Portuguese? Doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it’s an enticing challenge for you. Ideally, set a very specific goal, so “I’m going to make a 3-d crocheted model of the Taj Mahal in lace-weight yarn” is better than “Yeah, I’ll probably do some crochet”. The more you’re focused on your crazy, hare-brained goal, the less you’ll be focused on the other things you can’t do right now. It’s better for this to be ‘the year you invented Cuban-Icelandic fusion food’ than ‘the year when you couldn’t go to choir’. Of course these goals could be for you alone or for your whole family together.
- Pleasure versus mastery. We all need a balance in our lives between things that are fun (pleasure) and things that challenge us (mastery) – not that the two are mutually exclusive. Yes you could sit on the sofa all day in your PJs watching films… and that might give you high scores for ‘pleasure’ for a little while, but it doesn’t involve much effort (mastery), and so you’ll likely find that your mood and motivation begin to dip. At the other extreme, you could use this time to singlehandedly re-tile the roof, which whilst extremely difficult (mastery) yields pretty much zero pleasure, if only because it’s cold, and the relentless rain is getting into your underwear. Neither of those scenarios is ideal: instead, I’d advise a balance between periods of TV-indulgence and periods of soggy-underweared-roof-re-tiling. We really do need both.
- Get real. The internet is great. Far be it from me to say otherwise. BUT, try and do some things that are – for want of a better word – real. Bake a cake, grow some vegetables, feed the birds, cuddle the cat, play the piano. Why? These activities engage most of your senses. (I said ‘most’ – please do not lick your cat.) At a time of high anxiety, tasks like these are grounding. They bring you – quite literally in the case of gardening – back down to earth from that horrible sky-high cloud of fear that you risk visiting. And activities like these can mostly carry on as normal – they’re a reminder that not everything has gone crazy. Also, constructive activities like growing vegetables provide the reassuring sense of doing something useful. A great deal of what most of us are facing is about stopping things or avoiding things – it’s good to feel that you’re doing something positive to prepare, such as growing a whole heap of tasty potatoes that’ll keep you going for the next few months.
- The basics. At times of weirdness, it’s easy to forget the basic things that help to keep us healthy and emotionally sorted: sleep, exercise, fresh food, water, time outdoors. Please try not to neglect these, because your immune system and your emotional health could take a hit if you do.
I hope that helps, and I hope that you and yours are doing OK. Normal yarny service will be resumed forthwith.
One last thing. May I ask a small favour please? It’s my mum’s (Mother Twisted) birthday this week, and it’s fair to say that isolation at home staring at the walls with Father Twisted wasn’t quite her idea of celebration so if you’ve a moment to spare, please could you wish her a happy birthday in the comments? Thank you – your kindness is appreciated. She will probably murder me for directing attention her way, but I shall die happy.
Stay healthy, people. And carry on knitting/hooking.
Joanne says
Happy birthday Mother Twisted!! And thank you Phil for posting this. I will be archiving this one for future reference. ????
hereiknit says
Thank you for this! It’s great.
Also, a very happy birthday to your mum!
Alison Lambert says
Happy Birthday to your mum
Cari McAskill says
Thank you so much!!! And happy birthday, Mom!
Deborah Garretty says
Wishing your mum a very happy birthday! Stay safe and well x
Samantha Brunton says
Many Happy Returns to your Marvellous Mum and Thank You So Much for your great advice and access to your Wonderful Patterns, let’s all try to stay safe, strong, healthy, patient and optimistic, with love and virtual hugs, Sam XXX
.Laine A says
Just found you all but a VERY happy birthday to the Mothering one from central Scotland, also it’s Mothers Day in the UK tomorrow so happy Mother’s Day too. What a great blog, thank you for having me. Ps I do love the chair! My garden will never be the same!
Elizabeth Thornley says
Thank you for the great post – excellent tips. Bonne Fête Mother Twisted from Gatineau, Québec!
Khushpreet Kaur says
Wishing you a wonderful birthday, Mother Twisted, and many happy returns thereof, from Yeppoon, in coastal Queensland.
Thank you, Phil, for sharing such inspirational words of wisdom and humour. It’s been a challenging task this morning, keeping my elderly parents’ attention diverted from the latest developments in the crisis. After all, there is a limit to how many experimental loaves of sour dough bread one can bake for a household of three! Thankfully, while I was waiting for the first loaf to prove, your latest post appeared on my Google home page, and I was able to share your good sense, quirky humour, and exquisite photos with my parents, and bring smiles to their faces.
You’ve brought some positivity and perspective to a challenging time, and for this, we are most grateful.
Wishing you all good health and great happiness, wherever and however you may find it.
Ruth says
Really great post, thank you. And many happy returns to your Mum! ????
Wendy says
Celebrate achievement dear Matriarch of the Twisted Dynasty, it appears to be a small yet perfectly formed clan, good humoured, and clever as. I really appreciate the idea flagged by your daughter of mastery balanced with pleasure, reminds me of current project (shawl), where I seek the challenge of first lace, gladly interspersed with generous bands of garter stitch. The lace does my head in at times, but I push through, and collapse into the relief of garter stitch pool 🙂
Brenda Millar says
Happy birthday twisted mother. I’m a new follower and fellow knitter. You’re daughter’s writing is great. Well done mom.
Rosie says
Sending Happy Birthday wishes to twisted Mum, may you have a fantastically wonderful day, even in these times of uncertainty as
Cindy Schloss says
Happy birthday to your mum. Hoping for a sunny day so she may at least get into her garden a bit.
Nada Roberts says
Thanks, Phil, good sound common sense. Belated Happy Birthday to Mum, and please keep photos of Robyn coming. xx
dawn says
Firstly and most importantly, Happy birthday to your mum, I hope she’s still managed to enjoy a celebration of sorts.
Secondly, I have ME/chronic fatigue and that coupled with my severe asthma mean I can often go a week or more without leaving the house. I have several friends who struggle to leave their beds and who haven’t left their houses in months or even years. It can be done, one thing that really helps me is to write a list of goals for the next day, sometimes that can be as little as remember to eat and drink and take medication. Other days I will have a goal of catching up emails plus finishing a knitting project. Obviously my goals are likely to me a lot smaller than someone who is fit and healthy and has a large number of useable hours to fill, but try to work out a balance of fun v essential v boring and stick to it.
Cat Toolen says
Happy Birthday Mother yarn.
Jacqui Bates says
Happy Birthday to your Mum, may she live long and prosper.
Karen says
Happy birthday, Mother Twisted! Thank you for sharing your fabulous daughter with the world!
Amy Miller says
Happiest of Birthdays to Mother Twisted from Yukon, Canada ♡♡♡♡♡♡
Laura says
A most happy birthday, Mother Twisted! Though your daughter’s generosity makes it feel like it’s birthday week for us all.
Laurel says
So, who is that in the 2nd and 3rd photo? It looks like a bumblebee but if so then the flower is real tiny. Beautiful photos.
Mother Twisted says
It is a bumblebee on a grape hyacinth (Muscari).
Deborah Steed says
thank you for all your posts and wonderful creativity, including the fabulous photos of your little part of the world. I especially appreciate your present concern and advice about ways to cope – just wish all those who need it will read it. Happy Birthday to Mother Twisted! We mustn’t forget to celebrate the things worth celebrating!
Jan says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted! I’m sending love, hugs, and my very best wishes from Minnesota, USA. : ) May I say that you have done an outstanding job of raising your daughter. She is absolutely brilliant! Love to you both.
Claudia T says
Happy happy birthday mama twist!
Jacqui says
Firstly Happy Birthday Mother Twisted and Happy Mother’s Day too. Thank you for such good advice. Seeds are being sown daily and exercise taken in the garden – checking step count to ensure getting my exercise. As we live rurally even managing the odd run. We are in isolation so really appreciate the advice and have never been gladder to be a knitter. Patterns free is such a wonderful gesture for keeping us entertained- thank you from Gloucestershire.
knittingmayhem says
Thanks for this. I’m pretty resilient on the mental health front but I know many who aren’t and this is practical advice amid all the scariness. Hope Mother Twisted has a great-as-possible birthday – sending virtual high fives and (possibly) some cake which I will selflessly consume on her behalf!
margyj says
Thank you for the post, and a very Happy Birthday Mother Twisted, keep safe
jackallcraft says
Happy birthday, Mumma Twisted. And thanks Phil for your sage advice in these weird times.
Beth Wood says
Happy Birthday Twisted Mother and Happy Mother’s Day to you and all those special Mums out there. The advice is so timely and helpful, thank you. Part of our household’s discussions have been about a ‘project’ and finding my Historic-Hubby’s Greek knowledge is nil, he’s been challenged to add it to his repertoire – meanwhile it’s socks for me! The posting will definitely be forwarded to family and friends and no doubt your readers will be increasing. Take care and best wishes to you and all the Twisted Yarn global family.
April Iris McLeod says
Thank you for the patterns and HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MUM! ????
Patrizia says
Very nice words and super nice pics! Thank you!
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted!
Wishing you lots of love and lots of laughters!
jan says
Many happy returns to Mother Twisted. May you have a lovely day. And thank you for another entertaining blog
Sue Wild says
I love the pictures of the robin, the mealworms worked well! Thank you for the words of advice as self distancing/isolating is not an easy thing. And Happy Birthday to Mother Twisted
Fiona says
Thanks for the patterns and good cheer. The bee is, as you might just guess, a Red-tailed Bumblebee, a Queen depending on the early nectar in the grape hyacinths before getting down to founding a nest and rearing her first brood. Sorry, you probably know all that. Happy birthday to your mum too
Anne Spemcer says
This, the words, the advice, the photos, really helped. I’m not stuck at home like most, as I work in front line healthcare, but the world is still an empty place right now. I have found a way to be useful in my down time though – I deliver goods to the elderly and compromised from the LYS I work for once a week. They open the front door and I toss the Yarn in!
Thank you for your blog
And, before I go,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MUM.
Helen says
Thank you, love this post, and your wonderful Robyn & Bee ???? pics made me smile. Wish I could get the robins who visit us to do this! And what a lovely gesture to offer your patterns for free. A big belated Happy Birthday to your Mum to!????????
Jacqui Stonehouse says
Just found this blog and it’s a keeper! Adore your pictures. Morning Robyn!
Happy birthday Mother Twisted, you have a great daughter.
Much love!
Jill says
Happy Birthday, Marvellous Mum, You have raised a daughter with a beautiful soul . love Jill
Michelle says
Thanks for your wonderful advice, and best wishes for a happy birthday for your mom!
Deborah-Anne says
Happy birthday Mother Twisted. Thank you for a wonderful post. Greetings from South Africa
Robin Gherasim says
Happy Birthday, Mother Twisted! ????
Thanks, Phil, for the amusement and ideas! ????
Robin, South Africa
Robin Gherasim says
Happy Birthday, Mother Twisted! ????
Thanks, Phil, for the amusement and ideas! ????
Robin, South Africa
Sara Brunton says
Happy birthday, Mother Twisted – I do hope there will be cake!
Ruth Harrell says
Thank you for acknowledging that digging in the dirt, feeding and watching our friends of flight, and cooking can help us through these stressful times.
Happy birthday to your mom!
Bridget says
Happy birthday Mother Twisted!
Grace Lai says
Happy birthday to your mum! Thank you for these uplifting comments and generously making your patterns free. I’ve shared with a friend because I love the bird pictures
sarah Rose Courtney says
I just found you! Thanks for your humour and advice and happy Mother’s Day to your Mum from Sarah in South Australia ????????????
Diana Napier says
Thank you for your kind offer of patterns and words of wisdom.
Heather Gilhespy says
What an inspiring read. Made my day. Massive birthday wishes to your Mum xx
Simangele says
Belated happy birthday to you mamma. 1st time in your blog, thanks for the helpful tips, much appreciated.
Leticia says
So great, thank you!!
And happy birthday for your mommy!!