Morning all. Right, before we go any further, a quick announcement. I’ve just made all of my patterns free (using the code ANTIVIRAL at the checkout) because it doesn’t feel right to take money whilst people are losing their livelihoods. You can find the patterns here. Most of my designs were free anyway, but for now, they all are.
Anyway, to the subject of today’s post. I don’t usually discuss psychology stuff on here, because I like to keep this blog very separate from the day job, but I think that today might be the time to make an exception. There’s no getting away from the subject that’s on everyone’s minds right now: this pesky little virus that’s trampling all over everyone’s lives. So tiny, yet so RUDE!
So with my psychologist hat on (an extravagantly purple affair with orange sparkly feathers atop, in case you’re curious), may I humbly share some tips for surviving emotionally in these crazy times. The advice here is aimed at those of you who are stuck at home rather more than you’d prefer. Of course, you’re at an immediate advantage by virtue of the fact that you knit/crochet. That means you rarely face the problem, How am I going to fill this time?
There’s no getting away from the fact that we’re living in scary times. The frequency of use of the word ‘unprecedented’ is, quite frankly, unprecedented. It’s natural to feel anxious. You’re anxious. I’m anxious. Even my computer seems to be running its antiviral software more often than usual. But the risk is that unchecked worrying could lead to full-on depression/anxiety, and that is, by its very definition, NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY FUN. So here are a few things to consider whilst you’re stuck at home watching the world go bonkers.
- Goals. We all need ambitions. We need to feel that we’re travelling somewhere, even whilst we’re stuck at home with an uncertain employment situation and swarms of children who seem to think we’re their parent. But think: despite the constraints you’re facing, is there something that your time and isolation enables you to do that would normally be impossible? Learn the ukulele or the harmonica (via YouTube videos)? Start growing vegetables? Work towards doing 50 push-ups per day? Paint the kitchen? Master vegan baking? Meditate? Learn to speak Portuguese? Doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it’s an enticing challenge for you. Ideally, set a very specific goal, so “I’m going to make a 3-d crocheted model of the Taj Mahal in lace-weight yarn” is better than “Yeah, I’ll probably do some crochet”. The more you’re focused on your crazy, hare-brained goal, the less you’ll be focused on the other things you can’t do right now. It’s better for this to be ‘the year you invented Cuban-Icelandic fusion food’ than ‘the year when you couldn’t go to choir’. Of course these goals could be for you alone or for your whole family together.
- Pleasure versus mastery. We all need a balance in our lives between things that are fun (pleasure) and things that challenge us (mastery) – not that the two are mutually exclusive. Yes you could sit on the sofa all day in your PJs watching films… and that might give you high scores for ‘pleasure’ for a little while, but it doesn’t involve much effort (mastery), and so you’ll likely find that your mood and motivation begin to dip. At the other extreme, you could use this time to singlehandedly re-tile the roof, which whilst extremely difficult (mastery) yields pretty much zero pleasure, if only because it’s cold, and the relentless rain is getting into your underwear. Neither of those scenarios is ideal: instead, I’d advise a balance between periods of TV-indulgence and periods of soggy-underweared-roof-re-tiling. We really do need both.
- Get real. The internet is great. Far be it from me to say otherwise. BUT, try and do some things that are – for want of a better word – real. Bake a cake, grow some vegetables, feed the birds, cuddle the cat, play the piano. Why? These activities engage most of your senses. (I said ‘most’ – please do not lick your cat.) At a time of high anxiety, tasks like these are grounding. They bring you – quite literally in the case of gardening – back down to earth from that horrible sky-high cloud of fear that you risk visiting. And activities like these can mostly carry on as normal – they’re a reminder that not everything has gone crazy. Also, constructive activities like growing vegetables provide the reassuring sense of doing something useful. A great deal of what most of us are facing is about stopping things or avoiding things – it’s good to feel that you’re doing something positive to prepare, such as growing a whole heap of tasty potatoes that’ll keep you going for the next few months.
- The basics. At times of weirdness, it’s easy to forget the basic things that help to keep us healthy and emotionally sorted: sleep, exercise, fresh food, water, time outdoors. Please try not to neglect these, because your immune system and your emotional health could take a hit if you do.
I hope that helps, and I hope that you and yours are doing OK. Normal yarny service will be resumed forthwith.
One last thing. May I ask a small favour please? It’s my mum’s (Mother Twisted) birthday this week, and it’s fair to say that isolation at home staring at the walls with Father Twisted wasn’t quite her idea of celebration so if you’ve a moment to spare, please could you wish her a happy birthday in the comments? Thank you – your kindness is appreciated. She will probably murder me for directing attention her way, but I shall die happy.
Stay healthy, people. And carry on knitting/hooking.
kv Gouthami says
This is what I needed. Thank you. A big birthday hug to your mom! May your tribe increase!
Eliie Kidd says
Happy birthday to Mom. Thank you for a well written article. Depression can be quite horrible. I hope many many people see this and it helps them.
Janet says
Happy birthday mum. Keep sending the photos of the Robin they have cheered me up????
Sarah S Lindsay says
Happy birthday mum. I have set a goal to not start any new projects until I complete my other projects.
Donna Leach says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted from Virginia!
Leena Emsley says
Thank you for an inspiring blog. Great advice, love the photos. I am currently in isolation with my lovely dog and my knitting for company. You are absolutely right about needing a sense of purpose and knitting helps with that. Although I have had to find simple patterns as the anxiety seems to be frying my brain and I keep making mistakes. Thank you for your generosity in giving your patterns for free, I am sure they will help many of us through these strange times. A very happy birthday to your mum. Stay safe and keep knitting:-).
Sophia says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted. From Dallas, Texas
Elisabeth McCune says
What a great blog..my first to read of yours. As a retired nurse, I have the focus on both things I have NOT taken time to do as well as trying some new activities. Knitting is always a given. I look forward to browsing through your patterns (possibly starting a new project using some of my stash….as well as finishing some????). I will be forwarding your blog to a few friends who are truly struggling (and one doesn’t knit!). Your “professional” addition in your blog is so helpful. Thank you for helping ground us. Happy Birthday to your mother. Elisabeth (Marietta, Ga)
Jill Turner says
Happy birthday. From Jill.
karenjr23 says
Fabulous post. Thankyou so much for bringing a burst of sanity into this mad mad world of ours. I hope that your Mum has the best birthday possible. This is the first time I’ve been on this site but I will certainly be back. Stay safe and sane.
Gilly says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted…. You must be very proud of your daughter this is a wonderful blog. Thank you for the advice I plan to pass it on.
Laurie Saint says
I am one of the luckiest people because I just learned to crochet two weeks ago and it really helps. It’s my mother’s birthday this week too. She’ll be 82 and quite content if I’ll just sit with her for a while. Maybe we’ll build a puzzle. Thank you for your comments and your patterns.
Barbara Jones says
Best wishes to your mum on her birthday from a sunny Surrey in th UK!
Joyce says
Happy birthday Mother Twister all the way from Northern Ireland on a beautiful sunny day. Off now to sew some veg! Joyce
Selma says
Happy birthday Mother Twisted. Hope the sun shines on your day. Phil as always an excellent post so very apt for now with sound sage advice. Can just picture you in your purple hat and orange feathers. Very colour wheel complimentary. Love it. Hope you and yours stay safe xxx
leelah saachi says
Happy Birthday mom of Phil the phenomenalissima ♥
YVONNE OVERELL says
Excellent blog, love Robyn and Bee
Happy birthday to your mum xxxx
Alicia Fortuin says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted from Cape Town South Africa
Helen Hudson says
Thanks for your patterns, super blog and timely advice. Happy birthday Mother Twisted!
Helen Hudson says
Thanks for your patterns, super blog and timely advice. Happy birthday Mother Twisted!
Cathy says
Happy Birthday to Mum! She did good, producing such a charming, thoughtful & creative daughter!
Many, many thanks for this article, it’s just the thing during this siege we’re sharing. I’m amazed I had not found your designs before, as I LOVE stranded knitting and strong colors. So enjoying all of your site, and downloading your lovely patterns, has been a delight.
During this pandemic, while I am unable to work due to illness, I am fortunate enough to to be able to purchase your patterns without your kind discount. So I did!
Thanks for being you, Dr Phil, you’ve cheered me enormously and given me gifts that will outlast this mess. Knit on!
Cathy in Seattle, Washington, USA.
Alice Martin says
Happy Birthday Mom Twisted! Thank you for your blog! It is wonderful! Just the thing I needed to read!
Mary says
“I’m going to make a 3-d crocheted model of the Taj Mahal in lace-weight yarn.” I’m still laughing! Awesome post. Excellent timing. First time here, but glad i came. Happy Birthday, Mother Twisted! From a fellow yarn-aholic from Maryland in the US
KateM1R says
Thank you! This was a wonderful article to read today. Just what I needed to hear. Beautiful photos too.
Happy Birthday, Mother Twisted! ????
KateM1R, Oakland CA
Cora Self says
Hello from Claremont NC. I would like to wish your mother a very happy birthday. May the Lord bless her with perfect health and tons of happiness. God bless you all and have a great day. A friend of mine use to say, “Make it a great day or not. The choice is yours.”
juniperberry27 says
Wise words, and may I suggest as a front-liner with multiple episodes of putting on and taking off PPE (masks, gowns, gloves etc) every shift and recently ALL shift, applicable to us too.
When at home, I find I have a real urge to create and MAKE something. Not maybe a Taj Mahal, but something that can requires focus and is achievable. It is in the back of my head that inevitably I too might be housebound, self isolating and hopefully not too sick, so that I can get on with it.
It is also grounding, as groups chats have hit explosive levels of hysteria and passed on info that often is misinformation and it is truly wearing. Making is REAL and mechanical, not emotional and nebulous.
To all, stay safe, stay home and take this Twisted woman’s advice. Let’s not make it the time that Covid-19 ruined our lives anymore than it has so far. Let it be the time that we doggedly wear down the creep and build up our communities and our own skills and achievements.
Rant over
Happy birthday Twisted Mum. x
Rosemary says
Happy birthday Mother Twisted from Auckland, New Zealand where isolation regulations are being imposed very quickly as the givernnenvis being very proactive to try to contain and slow things down. Best wishes for you and those you care ab
Claire says
Thankyou Juniper berry for all that you are doing at work, as a retired nurse I have an inkling of what you are dealing with, hope you enjoy your crafting/making in your time off xxx
juniperberry27 says
Thank you Claire. I think my colleagues and I feel pretty supported. Looking forward to it all ending though. In the meantime, time has been set aside today to KNIT. Yay. xxx
juniperberry27 says
Thank you Claire. You take care too x
Euphrosyne says
Happy birthday Mother Twisted!
Thanks for your positive and constructive post, I don’t even know how I came across it but I am glad I did. Love the photos too! I had a bit of a time about a week ago getting anxious and getting really upset about it all, but I realise that’s not helping anyone at all and least of all myself.
Thanks also for making your patterns free, though with a 2yr old to look after I don’t have loads of time to knit right now! ???? Take care and best wishes to you all.
Fahima says
Happy Birthday, Mother Twisted!
Best wishes from Toronto!
Sara says
De-lurking to sing Happy Birthday to Mother Twisted and to thank you, Phil, for this grain of sanity in a very mad world and for sharing Robyn with us.
Amanda Cambridge says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted! ????
Jenneken says
My mom recommended your blog, and I enjoy reading it very much. Thank you for sharing and Happy Birthday to your Mom, from Rotterdam. Take care in thede challenging times.
Pamela Lawson says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted from Michigan!
Theresa says
Loved your post and the Nature pics. Happy Birthday to Mom Twisted!!????
kmkat says
All the best to you, Mother Twisted! Many happy returns of the day.
Caroline Mayor says
Happy Birthday to Mum Twisted. Loved the blog, the bee and Robyn! We read this whilst getting ready for bed. My husband has a list of 17 jobs to do in the house while we are self isolating, not my idea! He spent the afternoon with me in the garden which was wonderful. We will look after each other and come through this. I have quitea lot of crochet to get on with for when the Pateley Bridge Art Club can have their next exhibition!☺
Janice says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted!
Amy Rene Ims says
Happy birthday to your Mum! ???????? I enjoyed your article, and I agree wholeheartedly with your suggestions to set goals, take care of ourselves and our neighbors too, I might add, and get outside. Have purchased a new bike, planted vegetables and seeds, gone for two lovely spring bike rides with my family, and we are enjoying cooking and eating together as a family without the weekday business, sharing food with neighbors. I wish everyone good health and peace.
We have set up our bird feeders and I loved your photos of bird friend Robyn! God’s creation is beautiful and precious; it is good to be reminded of Divine love and beauty in these uncertain times.
Teresa Lohan says
Happy birthday to your mum…. I can’t be with mine at the moment so I will send best wishes to yours
Patricia P Jennings says
Your work is so interesting, thank you for sharing! Happy Birthday Twisted Mother!
Chandan says
Hapoy bithday mom
SandyG says
Happiest of Birthdays to your Mom! Thank you for your wonderful blog, and timely post. I needed the reminders. Stay well (away from humans for a bit), and keep your lovely stories coming.
I almost channeled you today, and started digging a pond while I was mucking about in my own garden. We had a nice chat, but I’ve decided the very large tree in my yard would not appreciate it as much as it appreciates my raised beds, and would rather fill it with needles. Or, drain it dry, which would be equally upsetting.
Anne Le Bas says
Happy Birthday, Mother Twisted. What a talented and wise daughter you have produced! (It was either nature or nurture, but either way, it was your doing! ) Give yourself a medal, and enjoy your day!
Jenny says
Happy Birthday to your mum and anyone else who has a birthday this week. I agree with everything you have said in your blog. Keep busy, stay positive and stay home. Regards from Cornwall. Uk
Kerryn says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted! Another wish from Cape Town South Africa.
On another note, thank you for your wonderful post and kind gesture re patterns. I basically lost all my income overnight when the SA government announced restrictions. I work with at risk population groups so now I’m unable to continue doing so. Stuck at home feeling without purpose sucks. But at least I can now indulge in some crochet ????
Keep the beautiful pics coming.
Tiggy Greenwood says
Happy birthday to Mother Twisted. I hope the sun is still shining for you.
On another note – any good advice for keeping up spirits once you’re actually ill. Not the Coronavirus possibly, (everything bar the high temperature) but isolated and feeling very weak.
Lovely husband doing his best,but now also showing symptoms. Keeping crocheting still in small bursts.
Sue Taylor says
Lovely post and really good advice – and thank you for the pictures. I have no garden but can visit yours via the blog! Before all this happened I started knitting a waterfall cardigan in thread weight (#8), so that’ll keep me well amused and will fill my time nicely. Keep safe – and happy birthday to your Mum.
Claire says
Thankyou Phil for your lovely viewpoint on all this, and Happy Birthday to mother twisted????!
KoKo says
Happy Birthday To You Mom!
Thank you for your post. I have never replied to a blog post before, but yours was inspiring, full of great info, and I made me laugh, which is so important during this time when all we’re doing is worrying. I work in Law Enforcement and I am considered “essential personnel” so I do not get to stay home like everyone else. People may say that’s a good thing, and it is, I feel blessed, but it’s also a bit scary every time I go to work. It feels like it’s a matter of not if but when will I get this virus and what does that mean for my family. I actually put my son on a plane yesterday to Colorado so that he can be with family while my job gets set to work 12-24 hour shifts. It was heart breaking and not something I ever thought I’d have to do. I hope everyone reading this is staying safe, healthy and happy! And that you all have enough TP! I can’t find any! ????
Gloria says
Happy birthday to mom! In these strange times, it’s more important than ever to celebrate. I love to stay home and make things, so I don’t feel like it’s a hardship, but I worry about those who are isolated or lonely, and especially about those who have lost their livelihoods.
Melynda says
First time here and so happy to have come across your blog. This was so helpful and made me laugh. I will definitely be back. Happy birthday to your mum!
Jane Sturgeon says
Thank you, Phil, for reaching out like this and for your patterns. Happy Birthday, Mummy Twisted. Hugs to you all. <3
Born To Organize says
Thank you for sharing your wisdom and expertise. You are a gift to this community, in the same way that Robyn the Robin is a gift for your should. She’s a charmer, that one. My hat is off to the great photographer (is it you while she sits on your hand?!) Thank you for the free patterns, the gorgeous photos, and all our good advice.
Born To Organize says
Happy Birthday, Phil’s Mum. I hope you enjoy your special day. Thank you for producing such a lovely daughter. We adore her. Alys
Honor says
Phil, thank you for your words of wisdom. Things are moving so quickly, it’s good just to take a moment to take a breath and take back some control. Thank you also to all who are working in the medical field. Such challenges and stresses you all face – best wishes and good health to all. And, of course, happy birthday Mother Twisted.