Oh, hello covid. I’ve been expecting you.
Well it was going to happen some time, wasn’t it?
(There is positivity later in this post, I promise. I’m conscious from comments on the previous post that many of you have quite understandably Had Enough Of This Excrement. And so I want to lighten the mood. Keep going, friends, I’ll get silly again in a few paragraphs’ time.)
Briefly, back to the Covid. This invisible thing, this murderous and disabling psychopath that’s been threatening everyone for the past two years, has finally chosen to visit our cold and wonky old home. I hadn’t anticipated how unnerving it would feel, seeing those two red lines on what must be the gazillionth lateral flow (antigen) test taken under this roof. I don’t use the word ‘discombobulated’ often, but that’s exactly how I felt when I saw the two lines. Without realizing, I’d been holding my breath for two years and now quite suddenly this was it. COVID. I exhaled slowly. It was our turn. This was not a drill. We’d boarded the C-19 train, heading who-knows-where, and dragging heaven-knows-how-many innocent passengers along with us for the ride. It took me a shamefully long time to progress from paralyzing shock to right-let’s-think-about-what-we-need-to-do-right-now-this-morning-to-keep-everyone-as-safe-as-possible.

It isn’t me who has covid (yet), by the way. One of the twinnage was emotional and unsettled one evening, and by the next morning the poor lad had tested emphatically positive. He’s OK now, and his symptoms were comparatively mild whilst they lasted. Children of his age (11) aren’t eligible for vaccines in the UK, so I worried about whether he’d cope with no external scaffolding of his immune system. As I write this, he’s finally back at school. His identical twin brother, with whom he spends every waking and sleeping minute, with whom he shared a placenta and pretty much everything since, didn’t test positive until many days later… and continued to test positive until three days ago. He had one day of being alarmingly ill, but has otherwise been not too bad. We’re grateful because things could have been worse. Way worse. We’re on day eighteen in the Covid House, and today is the first day we’ve all been legally and safely allowed to leave the house. Selfishly, I worry about how few chances I’ve had to go running, because my physical health and energy levels go south way too fast if I don’t pound the trails/paths/tracks for a few hours each week, and what little physical fitness I had, so painstakingly built up, can be lost in the blink of an eye.

The Stoic Spouse and I have been testing daily, and are thus far staunchly negative. We’re both triple-vaxxed, but I’ve seen too many similarly-inoculated friends endure a really unpleasant ride with Omicron, albeit in a non-hospitally, non-dyingy way, thank goodness. Covid is the Boris Johnson of viruses: it does what it wants, when it wants, with scant regard for rule or convention or morality, so who knows what’s in store. I fear that Omicron has a sense of humour, and now that my second twin is at last deemed fit-for-service, either the Stoic Spouse or I will be struck down.

Fortunately we’d noticed the surge of cases in our village and had forbidden contact with grandparents a week or so before the boys got ill, so at least we haven’t given it to the Twisted Seniors. But all this has not helped the day-job situation, because I’ve mostly been the person-at-home-on-covid-care-duty, since the Stoic Spouse’s job is even less work-from-home friendly than my own. I hate cancelling patients, hate asking people to change to remote rather than face-to-face sessions, but that’s been the reality of working life these past 2.5 weeks. It’s not good. I’m not proud. I don’t want to let my patients down.
I don’t know about you, but I’m useless at working from home, even aside from the fact that it stops me seeing people face-to-face. It’s hard to concentrate on writing a psychological report when the postman is ringing the doorbell, the washing machine is beeping to say that it needs unblocking yet again, and at least thirty-seven of my two children are clamoring for their third breakfast of the day. Much as I love the postman (?), washing machine (?!!!) and children ( 🙂 ), I’ll be very glad next week when I can physically return to the hospital and see patients face-to-face. And yes, I do have a tiny bit of perspective and recognize that these are minor woes in comparison with what some of you have endured thanks to this vile virus.

So today was the day when we were finally released from captivity. We went walking for plenty of miles. All was pretty. Look!
But there was a problem. Held in captivity, our legs had grown really rather embarrassingly long. My theory is that this is the equivalent of rodents’ teeth: if you don’t constantly wear them down by walking/running, they grow way too long. Look! Here we all are, going for a walk, looking a little more elongated than is strictly normal:-

A Facebook friend/relative (you know who you are) pointed out that this was the literal manifestation of LONG COVID, and who am I to disagree?
But amongst all this Covid talk, let’s please stay positive. It may be winter, the garden and all its vegetables and wildlife may be hiding under a rock and grumbling I’M COLD, but good times are coming. At first glance, everything looks dormant. But on closer inspection, you see that new life is just getting ready to burst into activity.
In the dark days of winter, and amongst all the crazy, it’s heartening to know that new growth is coming soon. A fresh season awaits. All will be well. And in the meantime, may I show you the exceptionally angry chocolate cake that I’ve just finished baking:-
Stay strong, my friends.
Phil x
Well done, love the cake!
Thank you, and also thank you.
Thank you for writing your blog. It caught my attention because I love to create with yarn – almost exclusively crochet. I subscribed to it because I love your humor in your writing. I am locked up in my home avoiding people because of horrible covid-19. So far so good, but it does take quite the toll on one’s mental health. For the past year, I’ve had lung problems unrelated to the virus. I am so glad that you and your family made it through covid-19 all right. Anyway, you have a fan in Idaho, USA.:-) thanks again for your creative and wonderful blog.
Angela, thank you for your warm-hearted comment. And yes, I fear the toll that isolation must be taking on so many people’s mental health. I’m glad that you’re safe so far, and hope that some time soon, it’ll be safe for you get back out into the social world.
Pfuh ! – chocolate cake ? That is as nothing compared with that almost unbelievable zucchini cake you gifted us with way back when ! (See my priorities ? – the first comment I make is about cake ..)
Dear Phil ..
I can add only that if there is to be any household coping “well” with The Monster, it will be yours. And The Stoic Spouse’s. And the Twinnage’s. I must attribute your ability to do this to your career choice. Illogical not to.
Love you.
For the zilionth time in response to your excessive kindness, THANK YOU.
De rien ma chère ..
Ce n’est certainement pas rien, merci!
I am so glad your sweet boys are better. I will whisper a prayer for you and your husband stay well.
Thank you.
I have to confess that I enjoyed your comparison of Covid to Beastly Boris that I promptly passed it on to friends that would also like it, acknowledging your authorship of course. I hope you don’t mind.
As a Wrinkly Elder I have been more or less isolated for nearly 2 years, and I do enjoy your blog, even when the patterns are for knitting and not crochet.
Thank you and all best wishes.
Pat
Thank you Pat, and I’m flattered that you passed on my witterings. Note to self: must produce more crochet content…
Love the cake! Only you would have a cranky cake! I’m glad you have escaped unscathed except for the leg thing. May it be back to normal soon or finding jeans for the family could be challenging. Your spring pictures are beautiful but spring is months away here. We’re still in Salt, Sand and Snow season. Swearing fits in there too! Did you put away your covid (no capital letter, it doesn’t deserve it) hat? That must be it. Stay strong, we’re all in this together!
Eek, I still need to publish the crocheted covid hat. I looked for the pattern the other day, but couldn’t find it – maybe I haven’t typed it up. Must sort that. Was it you who was asking for it a few weeks ago?
Salt and snow and swearing I understand (and snow I envy – sorry), but sand?? It’s definitely not spring here YET, but nature is getting ready for the possibility of spring.
Stay warm and covid-free.
The sand is used with the salt for traction on the icy roads. Salt is expensive and the sand is more eco-friendly. Also the salt stops working after a certain temp. We’re encased in a deep freeze. It wasn’t me who asked about the pattern but you had a link on a post for it I think. The seed and gardening catalogs are here. I need to get busy on that. We won’t see spring until April. Be safe.
Ah OK, that makes sense about the sand. Thank you for explaining. May you remain warm amidst the deep freeze.
Everything crossed that C19 has packed it’s bags and moved on from your home. I thoroughly enjoy your posts at all times but today your angry cake picture was just exactly what I needed to lift my spirits. I hope you won’t mind but I’ve printed it and hung it on my bedroom wall to keep me smiling while I deal with what feel like impossible situations and people (my outlaws grrr). Take care Phil, you and family are in my thoughts. Lucy
Mind? I’m honoured that you think it’s worth printing. But seriously, may your outlaws discover reason and sanity, pronto. I feel for you. px
Dear Phil, you are the best, your patients will understand and you haven’t let them down, stay safe x
Thank you Nia, even if you are way kinder than I deserve.
Alas, we are positive in this house too, even though negative on LFT for a week, my husband with an alarming cough was persuaded to have a PCR and lo and behold, positive! I’m so thankful for yarny activity to get me through the grumpiness, and will probably making cake shortly! Chin up!
Yikes, may you both soon be free of this beastly beast, without having endured excessive suffering. Cake and yarn are essential in these circumstances, I feel.
Are you very sure that the picture is of the family? Sure looks like something from Star Wars.
So happy to hear all are on the mend. Stay healthy and positive( both are extremely difficult now a days)
Ha, yes I’m medium-sure that these people are indeed my family, but in these uncertain times, who knows?!
They most certainly look like AT-ATs!
Had to Google what an At-At was because stoopid, but YES.
Your blog today cheered me up and at the end of.my reading I feel like Spring will spring!
Thank you. Seriously thank you. It may be winter, but spring is most definitely around the corner.
‘Twisted Seniors’ made me laugh! I’m glad your boys are recovered and I hope you and the rest of your family stay well. Love all the lovely sunny pics and the cake with attitude 😀
Thank you for all of this. And yeah, that cake had some serious attitude. So I ate it.
OK I give up! I simply cannot resist you and your spectacularly wonderful sense of humor! Covid knocked me for a loop (thankfully I am vacc’d and boosted so I mostly slept for several days) and I realized when it was all over and I was feeling “normal” again that the fear was gone. That had been the ghost shadowing my life for so long and now I have met the monster and survived and whew…the angry cake has made me laugh! I simply, totally adore you. Thank you.
Yikes, I’m sorry you had to directly grapple this invisible beast, and I hope that you really are feeling properly better. ‘Ghost’ is a good descriptor for this horrid thing.
Also, thank you for saying kind things, but please erase all positive impressions from your mind because I’m horrid, really.
I am very glad you have all come out the other side relatively unscathed. Hopefully once it does one from our house we might be able to see each other for more than a fleeting moment.
I can attest that the angry chocolate cake does not taste angry 😊
Ooh and I noticed today that there’s bluebells punching through near my hut, the hellebores are in bud and my fuchsia is showing signs of coming alive again. There’s a bit of light at the end of the winter tunnel at last.
Wow, your garden is seriously advanced already! And yes-very-much-please-and-thank-you to the idea of seeing each other properly once nobody is a plague rat.
Gosh how fun…NOT! We have so far avoided the lurgy… at the beg we isolated as we are old ( pensioners no less) and now we do as we have 4 grandchildren 5 and under ( the Littles) whom we would not be allowed to see if we were dashing hither and yon. Fortunately in the USA children are vaccinated at 5 so the oldest is done.
Who would have thought 2 years on we would still be messing with this! I crave fish and chips from my sisters chippy and sausage rolls… and buying tons of chocolate at Heathrow on the way back here…
Oh well… lots of sewing and knitting happening. Also had 4 grown up and 3 Littles sledding on my “hill” this afternoon…we do have quite a bit of snow…
Snow, you say? (Misses all the important covid-related stuff that came before that sentence.) Please would you be kind enough to post me some? Please?
May you remain well and may your young grandchildren bring you all the joy (and exhaustion!) in the world.
Thank you, Phil, for your patterns, your wit, and your tenacity. I am glad that half your household is feeling better, and I hope the other half of it skips the ride on the Covid-19 train! With gratitude always!!
And thank you for every single word of this. I hope that you are safe and well and have yarn.
I’m so sorry that Covid finally made its way to your door, and I’m so glad that you all have come through it okay; so glad to hear that the vaccine and booster worked for you and the spouse. I just got another booster last Monday and I’m in that window of feeling safe and invincible, … but I’m still wearing my mask! I love the photos of the blooms and walk, but it is strange to see green grass. Wow. Your winter is a lot different from mine which features dead twiggy trees, straw-like dead grass, heaps of snow, and hopeful dreams of spring.
Snow…. Ah, I remember snow…. Please could you post me some?!
But thank you for your kind words, and may your own vaccinations keep you thoroughly safe from this lurgy.
We have more snow coming this week… I’ll put a picture on the blog. 🙂 I’m one week out from the latest booster and I’m off my immunosuppressant drugs right now so my immune system can do its best thing and I feel just great. For this brief moment in time I am kind of invincible, but still masked!
Did you ever watch Sarah and Duck? The cake makes me think of https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01qynbc/sarah-duck-series-1-4-cake-bake
I hope you all stay well – it’s odd how it goes around, my cousin got and it and gave it to his dad, but his mum (who had been, you know, sharing a bed with his dad) never got it at all…
Followed the link… and yes! Except that cake is WAY happier than my cake. Perhaps because we ate my cake.
Also, yes yes to covidy unpredictably weirdness in terms of who gets it and who doesn’t.
February will mark two years since I was hospitalized with COVID/pneumonia. I was still in an isolation unit for Valentine’s Day. It seemed to bother the charge nurse more than it did me. My mister visited every day. He is the one who brought it home to me. From work.
I am still grateful for all the people who worked to make me well. My gratitude is still mingled with guilt over whom I might have infected in the emergency room that early on. None of them wore masks.
I am thankful, on your behalf, that your family’s well-being and good health. I am grateful on behalf of everyone who survives this virus and thrives. I am forever changed. Perhaps because I am older. Reading, thinking, appetite, sleep . . . So much has changed, is different (The world is a different place.), will never be the same, and yet I am still grateful to have survived. Thank you for this post. Be well.
Thank you and yes – this virus is leaving so many lives forever changed. I’m so sorry that you had it so badly. It’s indiscriminate and unfair and unpredictable. May your health only know an upwards trajectory from this point onwards.
You made my day with angry chocolate cake!! Hope the virus has left your home.
It was VERY angry. Also, thank you.
As always your wit and wisdom lifted my spirits. Glad everyone seems to be on the mend. I do wish I had those long legs personally!
So do I, actually. Running would be SO much easier with such legs. And thank you for your kind words.
Nothing better than an Angry chocolate cake! ‘No Covid for you’….. (Seinfeld, The Soup nazi)? No symptoms? Good for you and good that family have come through. Is spring early there? Having odd humid and severe storm weather here in temperate/cold weather victoria Australia. They say it is LaNina weather pattern but this is Unusual.
Stay well, wear down those legs and bake a happy orange cake. Cheers PS really enjoy your posts.
Ooh, orange cake. That sounds nice…
The weather is crazy all over. It’s been too dry and – sometimes – too mild here, so nature prematurely thinks it’s time to go.
Stay well yourself, and be this coming winter not be too harsh for you.
That’s it! I will henceforth refer to covid as Boris. Did you catch Boris? Have you been inoculated against Boris? The last thing I want is to be laid up in bed for 5 days with Boris!!!!! 😀
Oh goodness, that last sentence is going to give me nightmares for a week!! Ugh…
Love the analogy of Boris and the virus! So glad Boris has left you now.
Boris can * off to the far side of *, and then * off some more.
What a pain this covid is! My eldest daughter has it at the moment. Best wishes to you and yours xxx
Yikes, I hope your daughter isn’t suffering too much???
Thanks for this wonderful post, and hope you and Stoic Spouse manage to avoid the Boris train! Love the angry chocolate cake, it does look delicious 😊 Def Spring is on the way, a friend mentioned her daffodils are starting to come up. Brighter days ahead for sure.
Thank you, and yes the cake was quite tasty, despite its emotional disregulation! Daffodils? Already??
Well, the word Johnsons C has been said enough in this post I guess. We all need angry chocolate cake in our lives. Hug dear.
And the same to you. 🙂
I agree that sprinkling the hopeful photos among the text was a good idea. No wonder the cake was angry – you are going to destroy him! (her?) Glad to hear you got through the Covid without too much anguish. Hope you and your husband stay Covid free and you get back to regular running and seeing your patients. Luckily, being retired, I have choices and am avoiding indoors with people except for shopping and things like the dentist (next week!).
Yeah to be fair, if someone beat me repeatedly for ten minutes with a wooden spoon and then baked me in the oven, I’d probably be quite grumpy too…
Also, I think your covid-risk-related choices are wise.
Life is like that – (the cake) but is also like the snow drop and your post had me chuckling – the boris/covid comparison is the BEST thing! (Yes I have deliberately written both names in lower case )
Yes, neither name deserves upper case – you’re right. Also, thank you. x
I so enjoy your writing! I might be the only one who sees a happy cake with its heart-shaped mouth and squished eyes caused by a most cheerful grin. I hope your household continues to be free from the dreadful Boris contagion. Happy knitting, gardening and running.
Yeah, I admit that I can see what you mean. Also thank you for the rest of your comment. May you too remain boris-free.
Dear Phil, your blog always lifts my spirits because you combine so many different threads (pun intended) of information for our enjoyment. Sorry about the dreaded Covid disrupting your home and work and exercise. How astounding that you managed to produce a chocolate cake in spite of it!
I hope you find comfort and inspiration with each increase in daylight. Remember to be good to yourself!
Thank you so much. I was lucky enough to escape the lurgy, so the least I could do was bake cakes for those who were suffering.
Stay safe,
Px
(Reader from the Pacific Northwest, US) Having been quite ill since mid-January, I am just now catching up on your wonderful blog posts. Such distressing news to learn of the twinnage battle with CoVid, which I’ve always called and will continue to entitle the “Wuhan Virus,” only to have it visit the remainder of your wonderful family. I’d be loathe, here in the US, to even call it the “Fauci Virus,” which many would love to do. I suppose many out there have chosen to receive their CoVid “booster” injection: for me, that stopped any involvement in knitting, crochet or eating comfortably. Wish I’d never had the darn thing, as I developed a rare, painful adverse effect known as “Geography Tongue” and a hugely swollen right deltoid, which remains inflamed. As another poster indicated, after having spent the last 2 years at home, I have as well, due to Chronic Kidney Disease, due to an abundance of caution. So…kudos to all who have been able to beat this monster, continued to knit, crochet, embroider, whatever, remain sane, as I now find myself trying to yell at the television, with a swollen throat, as needed aid is not moving fast enough for Ukraine. Yes, clearly, I need to my 8s in the round and my project back in my hands, but cannot. Perhaps a few more weeks. Clearly, I’ve spent way too much time by myself, with “Midsomer Murders,” as my go-to, in an attempt to keep myself sane.