A hundred hearty hellos to you, my Fine Fibrous Friends.
I’ve chattered here lately about the cardigan design commissioned by Novita yarns. At the risk of triggering yarny catastrophe via sheer hubris, I’m pleased with the result. It’s a combination of stranded colourwork, gentle-shaping-without-messing-up-the-motifs, and four (four! FOUR!) steeks. For those of you who were asking about an English-language version of the pattern, I’ve been told that three months after it’s published in Finnish via Novita’s beautiful magazine, I’ll be able to publish it in English wherever I like. Novita is wonderful, did I mention that? It’s honestly been a joy to work with them and their yarns. 11/5: would recommend.
The Stoic Spouse wants to name this pattern Snail Porridge. Allow me to explain why. When I do something, I tend to do it to an extreme degree. Maybe wise, maybe not, but it works for me and has led to some cool life experiences along the way. The Stoic Spouse is a fan of the chef Heston Blumenthal. For those of you who haven’t encountered him (Heston, I mean, not the Stoic Spouse) he’s known for his pursuit of culinary extremism, even if this involves spending well over eight hours making a simple spaghetti bolognese. Heston’s pursuit of perfection and novelty has lead to such culinary delicacies as snail porridge – hence the Stoic Spouse’s suggestion of name for the pattern. He thinks that my cardigan is the knitting equivalent of snail porridge: extreme, complex, and bonkers. He more-than-sometimes describes me as an extremist. Err… thanks, dear life-partner? Yeah?
Reader, the pattern is NOT called Snail Porridge. Its name is Äkäslompolo, in honour of a village in Finnish Lapland where I’ve spent several holidays staying with my Finnish friend Anne-Mari.

She and I became pen-friends at the age of 13, and 36 years later we’re still friends. We were planning to visit each other in 2020 but… pesky worldwide pandemic. Maybe next year?
My sons would love the wilderness and the herds of reindeer, and rowing down the river by the light of the midnight sun (because there are no roads or paths to Anne-Mari’s woodland cabin). The cardigan has all sorts of outdoorsy motifs between the abstract patterns, because I wanted to make something about looking outwards, always looking and venturing out into the natural world rather than bothering to look inwards. And Äkäslompolo is an inspiring place to do just that.
But I digress from my loose plan for this post. Novita has also commissioned me to design a stranded dress. It’s very different in construction and style from the cardigan. It’s top-down, with a yoke that divides into sleeves and body. All day yesterday I was crunching the numbers. Crunch, crunch, crunch.
The trouble is, we’ve got builders in (to make our non-functioning bathrooms functional and maybe even beautiful), so whilst I’m earnestly counting 92, 96, 100, 104 stitches, they’re in the room immediately above me yelling “23. 47? No, 48.6! FIVE. Fire? NO, FIVE, YOU WOMBLE!” That’s not to criticize the builders because they’re fantastic blokes doing sterling work in the mad circumstances of our old ex-brewery house, BUT WE NEED A ROTA AROUND HERE FOR WHO IS ALLOWED TO SPEAK NUMBERS ALOUD, OK?!
I don’t mind making the chaps a million cups of tea per hour on days when I’m at home. I don’t mind clambering over their electric saw in order to get to the washing machine, I don’t mind the small herd of vans huddled conspirationally in the car park, but PLEASE DON’T SPEAK ANY NUMBERS WHEN I’M COUNTING, OK? (You’re a knitter/crocheter, you can understand this, surely?)
And breathe.
Wow. You are so talented. I absolutely love the cardigan. Is the pattern available?
Thank you. It will be, initially in Finnish but three months later I’ll be allowed to publish it wherever I like.
The cardigan is stunningly beautiful. Thanks for posting!!
And thank you for such kind words.
Oh I LOVE the thought of your truly awful frown, Phil darlin, when this happens !! 😀
And the way your silent counting becomes vocalised, getting louder until you’re actually shouting ..
As for the thought of a stranded knitting DRESS .. that renders me absolutely silent.
(I can scarcely bring myself to write the work ‘steek’ .. but I will admit that it takes talent.)
And how the SS can like the work of a man who has made snail porridge is beyond me !
Oh yes, you clearly understand about the counting. The stranded dress is an easier/quicker knit than the cardigan, I promise. (Also, steeks are easy, I promise. Some times I even cut them sober.)
You don’t say !! – well, that’s the only way I’d pick up a pair of scissors to something I’d crocheted .. (coz I can’t knit any more – hand arthritis) !
“Right, said Fred, both of us together, one each end and steady as you go.
Tried to shift it, couldn’t even lift it, we were getting nowhere and so …..we had a cup of tea.”
Bet the twinnage would love this song. Available on YouTube.
Looking forward to seeing the dress.
Oh I need to go and explore this…. Thank you…
Thank you, thank you, thank you! You have made me smile again! ❤
And you’ve made me smile too with your kind words, so we’re even.
Well that is just a scrumdiddlyumptous design but steeking 4 times oh heck I have the screaming ab dabs at the very thought of it 😱😱😱 (ask an elderly person to translate that if you need to).
Ah counting when counting. I think what a coincidence they have just said the number I have just counted to but of course I haven’t I have adopted the number just said, took me awhile to realise that. So absolutely no other person should ever mention a number when knitters are counting. 😉
Agreed on the need for no competing numbers whilst counting. Totally agreed.
I have no need for any translation of ‘screaming ab-dabs’ , so does that mean that I’m elderly at the age of 49?
More importantly, my sole purpose on this planet is to convince everyone that STEEKS ARE NOT SCARY! You can do it. Seriously.
wow phil! you are so talented. the cardigan is gorgeous! your SS is right! and a 2nd commission is a real recognition for you! i can’t wait to see the design you come up with!
hope you are well and recovered from the covid.
best regards always,
daisy 🙂 (aka margaret)
ps… what is the status of your book???
Thank you for every word of this. Twinnage both recovered from covid and Stoic Spouse and I consistently tested negative. Book nearly(ish) done, but I really do need to make contact with my elusive editor.
Your posts are SO ENTERTAINING! And I always read them with a British accent in my head. Your cardigan is simply SUPER! You truly have a gift. I can only watch in awe and wonder at your knitting skills. FANTASTIC! Keep up the great work and thank you so much for posting. I love seeing all the soggy soil and things from your garden. Here in Northern California (1 1/2 hours from Lake Tahoe), we are experiencing our 3rd year of drought. I can’t even imagine what “soggy” is like anymore. Thanks again. Hugs, Heidi
Oh yikes, I’m so sorry that you’re experiencing this meteorological horror. May it rain soon.
Also, thank you for your kind words about my knitting.
Never a dull moment in your busy brain. A pen pal for years is amazing. Your cardigan is brilliant and anyone who can live with construction should get a medal. That said, thank you for the smile as I read it. This has been a doozy of a week and you landed in my in-box at the perfect time. I bow to your sense of humor. Was that 7 or 8 bows? No, I think it was 10. No wait, it was only 6. When are you putting all these posts into a book?
Aww, thank you. And I hope that next week will be way better for you. (If it’s any consolation, I’ve had a horrible week too, with low points including accompanying my poor struggling-to-breathe son in the ambulance to hospital. He’s fine now, but this week has been end-to-end problems.)
May your next week be better as well. Sick kids are a mother’s private hell. This is a holiday weekend and I have a date with 108 tomato plants and 72 eggplant and countless flower bulbs to put in the ground. Next weekend is a worm party. A thousand worms will be added to the gardens with the help of my 3 grandsons. Have a Happy.
Wow! What a beautiful cardigan, you clever girl. I know I would never be able to make this, not in a hundred years!!!
You so could make this. Seriously. It’s just knitted stitches. No biggie.
You can make it. Note that you don’t need to make the whole sweater either– though it would be lots of fun. I see the flower motif as being a nice addition to a vest, say along the bottom then plain knitting above or the ends of a baby blanket. To the fear of steeks knitters, knit a circular swatch, crochet the two edges then cut. Steeks hide your yarn ends, and I add fun to them by crocheting the future steek edges with colorful sock yarn. (It will barely be seen so why not?) Steeks make finishing much easier.
The picture of the reindeer brought such nostalgia of my teenage years in Fort Smith, CAN. Adore the writing style as well, thank you for the great post!
And thank you from the bottom of my heart for saying so.
Laugh out loud as always – and the idea of looking outward is commendable- I could never attempt your wonderful cardigan but kudos to you ! That village looks pretty inviting too – thank you for brightening my morning x Mary
Thank you so very much.. (You’re really could do the cardigan if you wanted to.) And yes, looking outwards brings so many rewards.
I think Snail Porridge is a wonderful name for that cardigan, even though the only obvious reference to wildlife in it is the dragonflies (Midgies?) Have looked hard, where’s the fourth steek?
Once did a fair isle pullover for our son, that involved three steeks & wasn’t at all fearsome, mainly cos my Stoic Spouse likes zip up jumpers, so I’d experience. Mind you, cutting the first one . . .
All the best with the counting, and yes, that bathroom definitely looks non-functional. May it’s functionality, even beauty, be returned soon. Also just the one person mentioning numbers.
I smiled and nodded all the way through this post!
Steeks are at both sleeves, plus front opening, plus neck.
And I’m willing to bet that your son’s pullover was fabulous. I hope he appreciated it.
Oh yes, counting when you are counting. Enough to get bonkers for sure. I love how it became. A dress? Mmmmm, totally different? Ooooh. We will see it when your knitting perfection let it out as a whole XD
Aww thanks. Dress is completely different from cardigan in construction etc – I’m enjoying the contrast.
A masterpiece! I’m sure the Finns will adore your pattern.
I hope so…
Oh what a lovely cardigan! Please post in your blog when the pattern is available in English.
Thank you. I will.
Love these posts they really cheer me up and your cardigan design is terrific.
Thank you. And your comment has brought a smile to my face.
Your cardigan is great but please stop this designing for big companies (who pay money) and publish your skirt pattern😂. I’m being patient, really truly…!
I can definitely relate to the counting, even without builders in the house. OH is trained now to recognise the signs of muttering under my breath and wait!
Today was a colleague’s funeral. We both taught in a primary school. A poem in the order of service made me smile and I thought you and your Twinage would like it too…. I wish I was a glow worm. Glow worms are never glum, ‘cos how can you be sad when the sun shines out your bum!
He did indeed. Think he even wears it occasionally, though when he tried it on it was a tad short. I did consider removing the bottom ribbing and knitting it longer, but he said it was ok.
Ummm, how do you steek a neck? Or should I wait for the SP pattern, in English?
He did indeed. Think he even wears it occasionally, though when he tried it on it was a tad short. I did consider removing the bottom ribbing and knitting it longer, but he said it was ok.
Ummm, how do you steek a neck? Or should I wait for the SP pattern, in English?
Hi Phil, I can’t wait to see the dress, it looks pretty already! I also have fond memories of Finland, when I stayed with my parents at a friend’s near Joensuu (quite a bit farther south).
And I can totally relate to the counting: my 5y-old daughter is now properly learning numbers, and when I count, she says things like “12 is a really huge number, isn’t it, mummy?” or “the next number after 50 is sixty, right?”
Lovely!
The taps floating in midair, with their flounce of broken ceramic are quite a sight. Please do post update photos!
Your cardigan design is extraordinary. I can steek; it’s the colorwork that has me pausing. I know, I know, I can learn. Maybe on something smaller, though?
The cardigan is lovely. I am also looking forward to a trip to Finland, once the world calms down, as my new daughter-in-law is Finnish. Her family visit England often and it would be rude not to make a return visit!
I am on board with the rest – your cardigan is beautiful! I have never tried steeking, but one of these days I will let the scissors have a go at my knitting. And, I am very excited to see the colorwork dress! I love a good knitted tunic/dress!! Will it have pockets? I do love pockets too! Thank you, as always!!
As a weirdo who enjoys steeking (and Kitchener stitch – both make me feel rather like a magician), I think four steeks in a cardigan sounds very fun. It is a beautiful cardi and I look forward to the English publication. I am sorry to hear that your son had to go to the hospital as that is every mother’s worst nightmare but am glad it all turned out well. We are renovating bathrooms as well. It is remarkable how plaster dust works its way into every single nook and cranny in the house, the dogs, and the cat. I am in the middle of a test knit sweater so my counting needs to be accurate to be fair to the designer. Happily, my wonderful crew all speaks Spanish and that helps a lot with the counting issue. Thanks for brightening up my morning!
Absolutely amazing cardi! Wishing you all the best with the builders….and the counting.
What a loving post, Phil. You are so talented and your cardigan is gorgeous. As for counting builders….thanks for the bathroom beautification, but no numbers out loud. I get it! Much <3 to you. xX
Just lovely I’m excited to get the pattern. Hard work really does pay off