Hello.
I know. It’s been a while since we hung out together in here, and I’ve missed you. And my goodness is this place looking dusty. I’ll have a clean-up shortly, but in the meantime, make yourself at home. Don’t take it personally if the cats sniff your feet: they’re cautiously friendly, but the word ‘decorum’ never troubled their minds.
It’s very kind of you to have stuck around. I deeply appreciate it, as well as the recent comments wondering where I’d gone. My absence was mostly due to health problems for both the twinnage and me. The one downside to having identical twins is that if one develops an illness, there’s a not-tiny chance that the other one will develop it too and, well, here we are. (Given the history of cancer diagnoses in our little family, I should probably stress that none of the recent stuff has been cancer-related, thank goodness.) Anyway, we’re all going to be fine. We are fine. The Stoic Spouse is fine. But I look forward to the day when I can hear a ‘thump’ in the house without thinking ‘Oh crap, one of the boys is having another seizure’. Because what the thump usually means is that yet again, one or other cat has miscalculated the laws of physics and has launched himself or some heavy object with very limited ability to predict the consequences. Neither of the cats in this house would pass even the most basic of physics exams. Fortunately, that’s not why we adopted cats.
I’ve missed you whilst all this health stuff has been going on. And I hope you’re doing OK. And that you have yarn. I’m back at work, and running lots of miles, and – more importantly for this blog – starting to hit the yarn again. The Stylecraft version of my grapevine scarf pattern is almost ready to be published, but I thought I’d put that in a separate post. Because that’s what you need in the blazing heat of summer: a really, really, warm scarf, yes? Maybe you could sort of waft it about a bit, as though it’s a fan? Anyway, this is the version worked in Stylecraft Special DK, with a slightly different feel to the Rowan Felted Tweed version I published late last year.
But yeah, we’re OK and I hope very much that you are too. I’m writing that cautiously, given 2026’s ability to mess stuff up in new and creative ways. Despite everything, I’ve tried to keep up with the food-growing, since that’s my little coping strategy.
But there’s a mole in the camp, working to sabotage my vegetable-growing. Seriously. An actual real-life mole, who lives at – or rather beneath – my allotment plot, and who excavates food crops for a laugh whilst hunting grubs and worms. I can’t show you a photo of him (I’ve decided without any evidence that he is male) because I’ve never seen him, only the trail of earthy mounds he leaves in his wake. My plot neighbour glimpsed his fluffy bottom as it briefly emerged from one of his hills, but didn’t manage to get a picture. Once, I was sitting in my big allotment chair, when I noticed the woodchips in the path nearby begin to twitch. And then – over the course of about 45 minutes – the chips sort of moved aside as the soil beneath was pushed up and out. Like a tiny and quite slow volcano. Or an erupting pustule. Take your pick. The mole didn’t show himself.
The mole has been named Monty – or his full name of Montgomery when he’s in trouble, which is most of the time. The name Montgomery means ‘powerful man’s hill’, which does seem apt. Monty-Montgomery has thus far been impervious to reminders that my plot is run strictly on no-dig (aka no-till) principles. He absolutely loves to dig. And dig.
There are currently over 30 molehills dotted around my small (roughly 15 by 8 metres) plot. Upended brassicas are scattered like casualties of war. I don’t claim to be an expert on growing, but I do know that plants do best when they’re the correct way up, so this is a problem. The weird thing is that despite the lack of physical barriers, Monty keeps strictly to my patch of ground. None of my plot neighbours are afflicted by this earthy acne. The worms and grubs must be extra-tasty at Twisted Acres.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m fond of Monty even though we’ve never met and even though our relationship is conducted solely via the media of groundworks (him) and exasperated swearing (me). I won’t do anything to harm or deter him, other than shouting “MONTGOMERYYYYYYYYYY!” every time I discover a particularly egregious patch of damage. I’m trying to figure out how he chooses where to dig, so that we can work around each other, but mostly his rule seems to be anywhere, as long as it’s in my plot.
So that’s where we are – doing about as well as anyone can, given that it’s 2026. May you and yours also avoid the worst of what this ridiculous year has to offer.
It feels good to be back here.
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I read that the soil from mole hills is great to add to compost – must be all that natural digging going on.
I have deer and mice, rats, very destructive magpies, pigeons let alone the common slugs & snails to contend with on my allotment but I love every minute there….definitely a way to cope with life’s many trials. It’s my bit of country in a town and whatever manages to get onto my plate and feed my family and friends is amazing!
Wishing you health, happiness and veggies for the rest of this year 🤗
Wonderful to hear from you, sorry for your troubles. Life has a way of making us slow down and take care of them and we appreciate when they are gone. Gardens are a wonderful stress reliever I know mine is. Look forward to a knitting project from you soon. Take care
What a relief to have you back! First, I’ve missed your ability to make me smile and second to know all is right in your world. Honey, if a mole is the worst problem in your world right now, you’re doing well. I’m glad things are better in Twisted Towers.
I have a rabbit problem. Not the cute fluffy things, but giant ones with huge teeth that think my on-purpose vegetation is an all-you-can-eat buffet. First one, then dozens. Nothing keeps them out of my yard. And their much larger bouncy counterparts (White-tailed deer) ate the top off my poor, back from the dead peach tree. I am no longer veggie gardening. I will make the hour long trip to a farmer’s market and spend my previous gardening budget on someone else’s hard work.
2026 is not an improvement over 2025. But I am glued to the World Cup. In spite of some teams thuggish “play”, I like the game. At 69, I can sit on my sofa and ogle all those very fit, very nice to look at buns. Our American pundit is lamenting that England could win while we celebrate our 250th birthday. If that’s the worst of my problems. . . .
Please, I beg you not to be gone so long again. Even a quick note to tell us you and your amazing needles are still stitching. Hugs from over across the pond.
So glad you’re back! Wishing you all healing health and brighter days ahead.
My nemesis is a chunky squirrel I call ‘Damnyou’. He is a true menace.
Hi Sally,
So lovely to see you finally being able to relax a bit. Absolutely love the scarf. It’s so beautiful I’m willing to work on it in the heat of summer. Been getting 90*-95* very hot days lately, so I’m inside where it’s nice and cool. Can’t wait to get knitting again.
Please disregard. My sincere apologies, as I was responding to the author and did not realize I was responding to you instead. I’m afraid that I’m not good on replying here. This is only my second time and both times I’ve messed up in this way.
Carlin peas oh yum! A Lancashire treat boiled up add salt and vinegar for a thick gravy eat from a tea cup with a spoon. The fairs sold them my Dad used to take us to “Mucky Abbots” which i hope was a humorous mention. Neighbours made them on bonfire night along with treacle toffee and parkin.
The garden is looking great when our resident mole strays we put ground coffe in his hole so he changes track!
Its good to see you back and hope you and the twinnage make a speedy recovery a d enjoy the summer .
Monty is quite the chap. Finally found a no-dig garden. He went miles out of his way to find yours. Must be in love. Moles dig and dig to impress a potential girlfriend. They make chambers of spicy worms for her to find. Hoping she falls in love with him. When the building company cleared the small ground at the river next to me, they probably disturbed Monty’s nephew. It came to my garden, making the boys and me look surprised at his work. Now I had a couple of big Fritillaria to plant, and Monty’s nephew hated it and left… It could be your solution. Or one might be a bit flattered, he chose your lot to be in love. Take care of the twins and yourself. <3
I can only reiterate what others have said…I have so missed you, am so happy to hear from you, so sorry it hasn’t been the best of times, but so happy to know that life and the living of it are on the good side at the moment.
So good to have you back Phil and to hear that all is well in your world.
Somehow I see I missed your last post …my goodness those beautiful grapes.
Now, Monty the mole … I wonder if he has a little family to feed and he lives to give them your wonderful organic stuff ? I would take that as a hugely complimentary choice on his behalf, although slightly irritating.
You never fail to make me smile Phil – thank you xx
Wonderful to hear from you and see the photos! Best wishes. Onward.
Hi Phil, happy you’re back and hopefully you and the family will be totally back to normal very soon. Love your allotment …. Even Montgomery! (And loving the cats, too). Hugs to all.
Great to read your post after the gap. Every good wish to you and your family for a healthier remainder of the year.
Great to read about your garden. Not so great to read about your and the Twinnage’s health concerns. Hope the next half of 2026 will be better for all of you. ❤
So glad to hear that all is well & all are well (even if for a given value of ‘well’) at Twisted Towers.
Moles – you know those windmill twirly things on sticks you can buy (specs the Twinnage liked them about a century ago)?
Apparently if you stick them into your plot at intervals, when the wind blows they vibrate & they are not ‘good vibrations’ for the moles. Another benefit is that the twirling can distract or otherwise deter above ground predators (eg: pigeons). Please let us know if this works.
Of course Monty loves your patch – it’s no dig, organic, full of worms (though less full now)
Maybe he’ll move on when he’s exhausted the wormage?
I’m so glad to see a post from you! Not so glad about your circumstances as to the why of your absence. Life can be quite capricious, to put it mildly, but I’m pleased that everyone is fine and chuffing along.
As for your garden, I sympathize. My issue is deer, as here in the California Sierra Nevadas they like to eat my roses. (Which reminds me, I need to spray the smelly deer repellent on the emerging buds because that’s when they’re the most tasty.) The plants already have to deal with poor soil and fight with the alpine trees for light. Makes a person wonder if I should have planted them at all? But when they bloom, it’s worth it!
Again, so glad you’re getting along and the twinnage are ultimately fine.
Thank you for finding the time to post. I’ve missed reading your words <3
Goodness, it’s a relief to see a post from you – albeit with mixed news about the health concerns. It sounds crazy to say I’ve been worried about a family I’ve never met, but as an Oxfordshire yarn-obsessed gardener (whose children are grown and flown), I have felt for you. I hope things improve for all of you. And I will definitely be making that scarf a soon as it’s cool enough to actually have yarn slip through my fingers instead of sticking …
Mole deterrent: There is one that makes a vibration and noise that they don’t like. You won’t hear it unless you stand right over it, but they do, and they leave. It’s a tube that you fill with batteries and bury every spring. You unearth them in the fall. Our lawn was full of moles when we moved to our present house, but they have all moved on. Each tube has a radius of 30 feet around it. We had 2 huskies that would dig up 8 feet of lawn at a time, going after those moles, then eat them. We thought this was a much kinder option than the mole massacre that was happening. The moles never learned to avoid the dogs, but they avoid that vibration like the plague.
You and the twins are on my prayer list. I have missed you. Your work is so inspiring.
Welcome back! I have missed your so enjoyable posts.
So glad to read your wonderful new blog entry! I hope 2026 will get better and better for you all x
Best wishes to you and your family. I hope that you and your garden don’t suffer too much in the heat.
So glad to hear from you again! ❤️
Hope that 2026 gets better, for all of us.
So glad to hear you’re back and all now fine. Down here in Australia, we are in Winter, but my warm weather creatures of destruction are possums. No, they are not cute, especially when they are eating your precious apricot tree, ( now given up on and cut down 😭). Also my prunus, my dahlias, my tree dahlias, roses, even my Parsley! Plague proportions in Australian cities! Hopefully some of others’ mole repelling advice might help here! Take care, keep smiling 🙂 🧶 🧶
Fellow Aussie here: yes, possums, but WOMBATS!!!
Hi, so good to hear from you again, you were missed. I hope that things continue to improve and that life gets back to normality for you all. Love all your growing I’m always inspired, I have a butternut squash that is trying for world (garden) domination it grows inches a day. Xxx
Twisted Yarn
The metaphors of life, health, work, rest, and play seldom line up in an accessible or beneficial way in my reality. Then your article appeared in my field of vision—almost a spiritual, telepathic moment. Not magic perhaps, but certainly wisdom arriving through the right window at exactly the right time.
A timely reminder that I wear my own watch! Haha.
So today, I’m setting aside my wonderful work, chasing unpaid invoices (oh, the joys of consulting to statutory agencies that never seem to appreciate they actually have to pay for services rendered—rant over!), and those delightful bonuses from private companies that not only pay promptly but also write lovely things about you and appreciate the extra miles you go on a task.
Today is my time to potter, pull a few weeds, and simply be in my own space—free, unhurried, and at peace. x
Good to see you back…and that everyone is in reasonable shape. I tend to make it through the next few weeks with footy, tennis and men in tight shorts (name give by a then 4 yr old daughter) Soccer watching causes immense stress…so I knit charity hats…the more stressed I am the faster I knit…
Ugh! Moles. Just as bad as gophers, which was the problem I had out here. They were so much cuter in Wind in the Willows. I never really got rid of them (I moved). I hope you have better luck. Pinwheels sound like a cheerful way to make them skedaddle and, even if they don’t work, a nice addition to the garden. Despite furry little invasive creatures, it is nice to hear from you again. You have the best attitude on life, even when you have to deal with crushing situations. It’s a trait I admire. Hope everyone gets to feeling better again, so you can go visit that very cool treehouse again.
We are at constant war with wallabies, pademelons (little marsupials that look like dumpy little kangaroos) and WOMBATS. The wombats are very good at breaking into greenhouses to eat the greenery within so I can’t even grow parsley without something munching on it.
Sigh…we are losing the battle…
Very, very pleased to receive your post, and extremely sorry you have had such a nuisance 2026 so far. Wishing everyone at your abode better times ahead – even Monty.
The scarf is beautiful. Alack-a-day, I cannot knit, only crochet. So I await the day you get chance to produce a one-hook wonder.
Kind wishes,
Peta