Hello, my Fine Fibrous Friends. This post comes to you from a seat beside the fire, because it’s properly cold out there,* and also it’s close to hats-inside-the-house-cold in here, too. Unfortunately I don’t always win the race to the comfiest fireside seat:-
Like the stereotypical tourist who springs from their bed at 6am to reserve their poolside lounger with a towel, I have to strategically book this chair in advance by placing some sort of cat-incompatible object on it. But then I feel guilty and remove the object, because what self-respecting cat wants to suffer the indignity of an evening on the Second Comfiest Chair?!
Anyway there’s been yarny progress, but it’s been slow. As requested, I’m working on a crochet version of the Four Seasons Cowl.
As you can see, the versions differ somewhat due to the very different behaviour (and misbehaviour) of knit versus crochet stitches. I need to hurry up, if only because I’ve promised the knitted sample in the picture above to a friend, but I want to photograph them side by side before I part with either cowl.
Also, I decided to try playing with AI. This is a big hairy advance for a person who still drafts their blog posts on real-life paper using an actual old-fashioned pen. As someone who likes the written word and who favours still images over videos/podcasts, I do fear obsolescence in these times of TikTok.** So I signed up for ChatGPT and asked it quite politely to write me a blog post, because who wouldn’t want the opportunity to effortlessly giggle at a thousand words of socially-conscious, quirky, hilarious, repartee.
Reader, colour me biased but I was not impressed by the result – a rambling account of something called ‘yarn zombies’ that I failed to understand as I read through the draft. As for the passage “Hey there, yarn addicts! Are you ready for a chuckle or two?” I am, quite frankly, wincing hard. You may cringe when you read my posts, but at least I don’t chuckle. Whatever on earth yarn zombies are, they’re not welcome here. Be gone, weirdos!
It’s reassuring that I can’t yet – in my arrogant opinion – be reliably replaced by a bot. That said, it’d save an embarrassment of hours of drafting, crossing-out, restarting, self-flagellating, and wine-glass-refilling, if I could merely click ‘generate post’ once a week or so.
But I’m anxious about where this AI thing is heading. In my day job (clinical psychologist) I’ve read rumours of potential AI therapists… but surely that would only work for the simplest of problems needing the most mechanically prescriptive of solutions, such as a specific phobia of seeing squirrels on Wednesdays*** in an otherwise psychologically-robust person. For the struggling folk with complex issues who populate my clinic, I believe that a connection with an actual human who gives a damn is worthwhile.
But what about knitting patterns? I do fear the intrusion of AI. It’s possible that those of us who work hard to design will soon be replaced by the touch of a key on a laptop. That is both impressive and depressing.
But thank goodness for the rest of life. The food that I’m cultivating in our little garden won’t grow itself. It’s comforting to act within a space where AI can’t realistically make inroads. On the other hand, if AI could somehow go running on my behalf, I’d be super-grateful… please and thank you…
But as for the knitting? This clearly artificially-generated abomination showed up on my Facebook timeline recently. Yup, it’s as Photoshopped as it looks and heaven knows what’d turn up on your doorstep if you actually ordered it. But I’m a sucker for an idea. So what if… Maybe I could engineer a mushroom hat?
Oh people, I really shouldn’t allow my tiny brain out unsupervised…
- Yes yes, reader from Lapland/Canada/Siberia, you can stop laughing now. I know, I know.
**Oh gosh, that sentence makes me sound antiquated. Next I’ll be foaming at the mouth about THE YOUTH OF TODAY and their pesky preference for mutual tolerance. IN MY DAY WE MADE DO WITH A BROKEN STICK AS A TOY AND A DOUBLE HELPING OF HOMOPHOBIA FOR BREAKFAST! NEVER DID US ANY HARM! Or something. Not that I wish to tar people of any age with assumptions about their prejudices. For example, “boomer” comments annoy me. My “boomer” parents (who are both staring at 80 from a worryingly short distance) and their friends are anti-racist, passionately anti-Brexit, anti-sexist, leaning leftwards, intellectually curious, and very highly educated. Also on the theme of not assuming attitudes based on generation: a couple of decades ago, I was soundly and rightly put in my place by an inspirational woman whose age I’d estimate to be similar to that of my since-deceased grandmother (who was born in 1919). I mentioned to this woman my grandmother’s slight tendency to make low-level racist remarks, and attributed it to her generational influences. Reader, her response was withering. Fair enough. The gist of all this: just because you’re over a certain age doesn’t mean you hold any particular prejudice. (Sorry Gran for dissing you, and RIP. I absolutely respect your feminism and determination and intellect, and the strength you needed to cope after being bombed out during WW2 and then carve a life for yourself and your daughter as a post-war single professional mother in sexist times. But you were occasionally a little bit racist.)
***If you, dear reader, are unfortunate enough to suffer from a terror of seeing squirrels on Wednesdays, then please don’t think that I’m trivialising your plight. Bushy-tailed rodents can be troublesome midweek.
Bobbie Jean says
I wonder if I wish hard enough . . . Might I get that sweater for Christmas, if I wished hard enough? Oh, please, oh please, puhleeze, Santa Baby!
The Twisted Yarn says
It is a LITTLE big bonkers though, isn’t it?
Meredithe says
Dear Phil, you are utterly irreplaceable.
The Twisted Yarn says
Thanks, but they probably also say that about things like syphilis and Trump.
Teresa in Michigan says
Dear Twisted,
That may be the most twisted post ever from your fertile brain. Why would anyone or anything try to successfully replace what you do? Not happening as long as there are people with actual functioning brains, even if they are dealing with squirrels mid-week. Please, give the mushroom hat a pass. And who would wear a sweater that others would want to fondle for its creepiness and not because of the gorgeous yarn? Move a little closer to the fire and let your clever fingers and the soothing stitches reset your rain. I am not a yarn zombie, am I intentionally prejudiced nor do I wish to be classified as a boomer. I will be a loyal Twisted follower until AI takes over the world and makes humans obsolete.
The Twisted Yarn says
Teresa, as always (since forever because you’re heart-warmingly loyal) thank you. I appreciate your words. And your aversion to AI.
Rhian says
It took me a while but I can actually see the photoshopping now… and as a lover of all things fungal and mycelium my tiny brain is wondering if this could be knitted into an actual jumper – albeit not quite so 3D……Over to you Phil
The Twisted Yarn says
It’s a bit tempting, speaking as a fellow fungal-enthusiast. Respect to you, mushroom-lover.
LyndaInOregon says
National Public Radio (NPR) did a story this past week about ChatGP and the kinds of documents it could generate. As the story went on and the narrator began to get more and more excited (think 8-year-old describing the perfect treehouse), I began to wonder … is this …? Did they…? And by the time the story concluded with the ringing assurance that AI-generated material would “stand as a beacon in the tapestry of…”, all doubts were banished.
Yup. It was not only AI-generated (they ‘fessed up at the end), it was read by an AI voice program (which, unfortunately, DID sound acceptably human, with appropriate inflection and rhythms which early versions lacked).
Now I’m curious about yarn zombies…..
The Twisted Yarn says
Yikes. AI is… not great. Ditto yarn zombies, trust me.
Hannah says
Have you seen the results of some AI-generates crochet patterns? They are somehow both hilarious and terrifying (an example here http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2023/feb/26/chatgpt-generated-crochet-pattern-results). I believe you’re safe for a good long while yet!
The Twisted Yarn says
Yikes, no. Off to gaze at the horror now. Thank you, I think?
Kathryn Richards says
I have run into the ai idiot when calling with a complaint and, trust me, trying to figure out the word that triggers a connection to a human is frustrating. Is it agent, representative, person? And the problem doesn’t fall into any of the categories nor is there a selection for get me out of this he!!ish loop. I am so glad to read that you are not enamoured of this phenomenon. How else would I get my dose of reality? Complete with kittens, knitting, and sky.
Mike Walker says
I recognise the issue; trapped in a comms groundhog day loop. I’ve found that responding on both Chat Boxes and autoresponder programmes with nonsense or, indeed, silence when asked a question tends to confuse the machines which often then tip you into the real world. try it, it’s good fun.
The Twisted Yarn says
Ha!
margaret (daisy) lerner says
okay Phil, i’m disregarding the whole conversation about AI to say that i just love your kitties … their furs are unbelievably glossy and silky looking! wow! are you feeding them something special or is that all natural?
anyway, i always love reading your posts and always enjoy all of your pics.
best regards,
ldeernest / margaret / daisy
The Twisted Yarn says
You’re so kind, as always. I’m not feeding them anything special, although they’re probably snacking on all sorts of things that I don’t know about. Colour me biased but gorgeous cats are gorgeous.
Geraldine Hudson says
Sheer brilliance, I love it when I get a notification that you have a new post. Merry Christmas to you and your family. xx
The Twisted Yarn says
Aww, thank you, I’m blushing. Merry Christmas to you too!
Sharon says
AI – you’ve heard the one about the AI being tested by the military?
They took it into woodland, showed it around. They also showed it tanks, and for good measure, showed it tanks in the same piece of woodland. Then they asked said AI if there were any tanks in the woodland?
‘No’, said the AI. ‘???’ Thought the engineers, scratching their heads.
The military engineers had a good look at videos they’d taken of the training ‘showings around’ & came to this conclusion – the AI did not recognise the tanks in the woods in that particular scenario, because it was ‘shown’ the ’empty wood’ on a sunny day, & the ‘wood plus tanks’ on a dull day.
Or something like that!
I wonder if the AI would have ‘recognised’ that there were tanks in the wood if one of them had shot at it?
As for AI generated knitting/crochet patterns . . . NOpleasedon’tdothistome! Some of the patterns already ‘out there’ are more than garbled enough. Never yours of course.
That Fungi Jumper is AWESOME. Could you apply your much greater Knitter Intelligence to something along those lines, please? It looks like a great project to have growing across your lap for January & February.
The Twisted Yarn says
Oops, maybe AI isn’t all that after all. Thank you for your wisdom. As for the fungal knitwear, give me time. Quite a lot of time…
Sue says
Your comment “a connection with an actual human who gives a damn” resonated loudly with me. I’m a retired Probation Officer and 40 odd years of experience continually confirmed that is the only way to persuade people to change their behaviour and beliefs.
When I read your blog I feel reassured that there’s a whole community of quietly giggling (definitely not chuckling) knitters in the world making it a better place. Thank you for your day and night jobs.
The Twisted Yarn says
And thank you Sue for the warmth in your words. Probation work can’t have been easy, ever. Huge respect to you.
Tineke says
Thank goodness, a computer-generated AI works on how we program it, as Sharon above wrote. Some scientists let it loose puzzling with art to show hilarious pictures after assembling. Plus, what we do, meddling with the human mind and body, is never to be replaced by non-humans. The human body and mind are rather weird and fictional. Especially the mind. Strange operating instrument. Aah, cats and boxes <3 And warmth, goodness, it IS cold. I love that you designed a crocheted cowl.
The Twisted Yarn says
And I love every single wise word of your comment. Thank you.
Sue Byrne says
I love this – all of it!
The Twisted Yarn says
And I love your generosity in saying so. Thank you!
Daphne says
As always Hester you made me smile, I love your blogs so much, being 84 I haven’t a clue what Al is all about, sounds absolutely awful, nothing…….can replace our human brain, and the complexities within, not to mention kindness compassion and our capacity to love. Your two kitties are adorable, how I wish I had one to sit on my lap whilst I knit, and keep me warm. As usual your cowel’s are delightful, how very clever you are. I wish you the best of christmases with your dear family, keep warm, and I wish you all the best of health for 2024🥰
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you Daphne, and I wish all of the best things for you, too. You’re absolutely right that nothing will ever truly replace the weird and wonderful and wonky phenomenon that is the human brain, thank goodness. Best wishes, Phil x
Mel says
Amazon has a similar holiday sweater (or jumper) for a mere $4.99, covered in knitted Santa’s. Additional version was plastered with Rudolphs.
I was so bugeyed at the thought of poor Chinese women torturously hand making this beast of a project, probably by candlelight, earning pennies that I spent about an hour angrily staring at all the photos trying to work it all out.
Then I realized, the sweater wasn’t 3-D. It’s PRINTED with a photo that makes it look 3d.
Still, kudos to any human who sat down, made and attached dozens of Santa’s to a sweater to be photographed as a template. Or, the person manipulating AI to come up with this in seconds. Either way, it was clever.
Can you imagine how mortally uncomfortable it would be to wear something like this? I’m impressed, btw, that the kitties get to sleep on your awesome chair. I suffer from “Too Nice to Use” syndrome.
Sigh.
The Twisted Yarn says
Yeah, I’m really not sure what would happen if you actually ordered this garment. I fear that it could well involve badly-exploited Chinese women. I will not be ordering.
Also, you HAVE to ditch the too-nice-to-use syndrome. Life is so much richer when you can sip tea from the best china. The Stoic Spouse refuses to sit on the chair, so I guess he’s with you on this.
Elaine Magliacane says
As a boomer… and having spent over 30 years programming computers… I say… AI will NEVER replace humans… it may replace the humans that programmed it… but not the people who didn’t… people who knit, crochet and let their kitty have the best seat in the house by the fire…Merry Christmas to you and yours.
The Twisted Yarn says
That’s a lovely sentiment. As always, thank you. And a particularly merry Christmas to you and yours, too.
The Twisted Yarn says
As always Elaine, I appreciate your wisdom. Thank you. And I hope you’re right. A very merry Christmas to you and yours, too.
Peggi says
You could never be replaced by AI, neither could we. One thing should be remembered. If not for someone (a real person) AI would not exist! Same could be said for “Movie Stars”, without the fans, they’d just be actors.
Knitting along as always, enjoy your enthusiasm and optimism.
Merry Christmas
Sharon says
Not sure Movie Stars, or TV ‘Stars’ are actually ‘Actors’, given the very bitty way films and TV programmes are made.
‘Actors’ however get to learn the whole script (or as much as the Director wishes to use) then have to go on and do the whole play, 6 nights per week and a couple of Matinees.
King Lear, & other Big Roles, isn’t just a feat of stamina for the (seated) audience. And it’s usually played by someone in their 60s, maybe 70s or 80s. Go them!
The Twisted Yarn says
You’re wise, and I for one appreciate your wisdom. Thank you.
Heather says
Thank you for doing a crochet pattern of your seasonal scarf. Aren’t some of the AI images good pictures! Have wondered about trying to replicate from an image but due to understanding I am alittle ADHD at middle age, (explains many aspects of my life experiences now), my eyes glaze over…….
So much going on in the world, we need more knitting, crocheting, gardening, crafternoons (a term and activity my wonderful daughter has made for friends).
I had a crafternoon yesterday, crocheting amigurumi as a destress following having a snake at the deck which I had to despatch, no. 3 so far this season! Enjoy the winter, hope the countryside wears a beautiful mantle of snow and white sparkle. Stay creative and snuggly warm.
The Twisted Yarn says
Heather, your crafternoon-pursuing daughter is wise. We should all listen to her.
Claire Holmes says
As a boomer (not quite as old as your parents) who was brought up in a very parochial part of the UK (Northern Ireland – where colour didn’t matter but which church you went to did) I would like to point out that our generation (and that of my parents) are frequently rather culturally insensitive and this can be mistaken for racism. I could give you a perfect example of this from my own childhood but if I did, the post would probably be taken down! Sigh!! By the way, I really enjoy your blogs and am relieved that they are written by a real human and not some ‘bot’. You are unreplaceable. And I love your cats. xx
The Twisted Yarn says
Hi Claire, and a hugely warm-hearted salute to you since we’ve met in person. But yeah, fair enough re your comment.
Edith says
Hello from the US midwest! Love your blog posts, especially enjoyed this one as I am also looking into AI. I’m a genealogist, a volunteer transcriber/indexer. Some of the larger groups I work with are exploring how to use AI instead of us mere mortals to transcribe and index old records. The last census available to index here in the US (1950) was put through AI, and humans had to review EVERY entry for accuracy. That process is still going on – so we’re told when a record was computer-indexed and to report errors. I personally would rather be inputting than reviewing (reading). In my humble opinion, yes, the AI indexed faster, but we’re not even close to “it” being able to work on its own without human oversight. And as said earlier, I’d rather be one of the doers than a data reader, so I am not a fan of AI. And don’t get me started on unlawful use of images, products (like music) and likenesses that AI is capable of….!
The Twisted Yarn says
Hi Edith, and may I just say that my sadly late grandmother would have been SO supportive of your opinion. She was an ambitious genealogist, and had she been alive today, she’d have had no truck whatsoever with this AI nonsense.
Michelle says
I love your posts, and your patterns, and I would proudly wear a mushroom hat if you designed it.
The Twisted Yarn says
You’re very kind, thank you. Guess I’d better get busy…
margaret lerner says
turning off comments.
The Twisted Yarn says
?
Deborah MacKenzie says
This AI stuff is frightening. Why would anyone want to give up their autonomy in favor of a cheep knockoff? Of course all the purveyors of this travesty warn about the dangers of it being misused. Hello, forgone conclusion! So they saunter on proselytizing all the wonderful things it can do. So good use it for the sciences and keep it out of everyday life. Honestly I think the whole thing is perverse. I want to hear the real you, so thank goodness you kicked that can down the road.
The Twisted Yarn says
Yup, I hear you. May us real living breathing people continue to assert our presence.
Susan says
Your cats are beautiful, and they’ve gotten so big. Your photos of your **black** cats are amazing. So often photos of black cats come out looking like a photo of absence, of void. Not yours! (How ever did you do it?)
And sleeping on the Most Amazing Chair in the World? These cats are clearly very very well loved.
Debbi says
I have been at several social gatherings where a substantial number of attendees are gushing about how fabulous AI is going to be. They do not even appear to have been drinking heavily when they talk about all the wonderful things AI will do. The whole experience makes me want to start drinking heavily myself; I fail to see how AI is going to improve our lives yet we rush headlong towards it. Oh well, I will continue doing all sorts of things with string, sticks, and needles, and read books written by actual humans.
Speaking of books, you asked me which books I have read after seeing them on your blog (sometimes you mention one, sometimes it is sitting on an end table in a picture that has nothing to do with the book). My two most recent Phil reads were The Climate Change Garden (good book, rather depressing that this is relevant to our lives now) and Entangled Life (I absolutely loved this and do not fully understand why my friends give me strange looks when I recommend it…). Please let us know what you are reading – or tuck your reading material here and there in your blog photos!
The cats are adorable and I am very impressed that The Chair is not covered with an old sheet. They must be better about choosing appropriate things to claw than my Sunshine was!
Sharon says
Oh, Phil, however do you do it? AI has been a subject of discussion in our household more and more frequently of late. I am on the “anti” side, my hubster on the “pro” side. I keep reminding him that social media was supposed to be a Utopian world, but has turned into conspiracy haven, filled with hatred. He wants it for work, I want it only if it can FIRST be programmed to plan meals, buy groceries, clean kitchens/bathrooms, dust furniture, mop floors, make beds, etc. Leave us real, thinking humans, especially creative ones like you, to make things, or help other people, or just laugh together. Ooops! I guess my age is showing …. yep, I’m one of those dreaded “boomers”.
Libby says
You sound like I feel. The fact the Royal Mail appear to be hoarding important items which should have been delivered on the first week of Dec is not helping my current grumpyoldwoman vibe.
Jessica Ba says
Well, I’ve been using AI for my knitting blog. Not to generate text but to correct my spelling and suggest some syntax improvements. It’s good at it.
I’ve tested its knowledge related to knitting topics and it’s far more knowledgeable than what I had anticipated. For instance, I asked it what Barbara Walker was famous for and it gave me the correct answers. It also knew what blocking is, the tools we use for it, the different methods, etc.
Generally speaking, it’s also good at giving you arguments to support or criticise a claim. That’s what I like about it. It’s able to criticise its own arguments if you specifically ask it too. That’s a tool I find handy for brainstorming in general. ChatGPT has a very rosy worldview, so you don’t achieve much unless you specify that you are only interested in facts, not wishes or optimistic stances.
For designing knitwear or crochet, I think AI will be used in the future for grading sizes. I see that coming in a very near future. As well as the AI suggesting improvements to a design based on the feedback of test knitters. I’d be very surprised if AI started to design garments, as designing is not about maths or computing feedbacks. For substituting yarn, I now use yarnsub.com. I find it to be a very effective (and free !) tool. And I am guessing this website is using AI, isn’t it ?
Robin says
Your comments about not assuming the attitudes for particular age groups reminded me of an experience my daughter recently had. She was having lunch with well-educated and enlightened friends of our family, who are both in their 80’s. My daughter is 23 and biracial. T. asked my daughter how she was finding her educational experience at a certain high brow university in England, given that my daughter is Black, and the institution is not particularly diverse. T’s wife admonished him and said: “Oh, she’s not Black. She’s coloured”… Needless to say, my daughter who classifies herself as a woman of colour was taken aback by the old-fashioned terminology.