The Twisted Seniors (my parents) asked the other day when I was planning to publish another blog post. I was visiting them with 50% of the twinnage. Actually it was more like 49.8% of the twinnage because one child is shorter than the other, despite the fact that they’re genetically identical. That proportion may have crept up to 49.9% by the time we left, due to copious snacks supplied by Mother Twisted to the eager child in question. It boggles my brain that MY MOTHER has become a voluntary supplier of ACTUAL SNACKS to children. But anyway. Yikes, have I wandered off-topic already?
“I’m not sure,” I told them, due to the fact that I’ve got a couple of new patterns that are nearly-but-not-quite ready for publication.
“You could write about T H A T” Father Twisted said, looking over his newspaper at the sole of my left foot. I was sitting on their sofa with legs tucked beneath me, hence the poor man’s sub-footaneous perspective.
The T H A T in question was a hole in one of the shabby, oversized, cheaply-bought, petroleum-derived, socks that I was wearing. It’s a matter of confusion to the impeccably turned out Twisted Seniors that their daughter, who spends so much time knitting, talking about knitting, writing about knitting, and designing knitting, wears socks and other garments until they’re more hole than substance. And then wears them a little bit more.
Yes I do own roughly a week-and-a-half’s-worth of glorious handknitted socks, mostly made by me but also including a gorgeous pair worked by my lovely friend using the yarn I designed for Stylecraft (sadly since discontinued). Handmade socks feel good to wear. But they’re not a joy to wash or to worry about. Roughly half our floors are carpeted, and carpets harbour resentment towards yarn-covered feet, for reasons known only (solely, I guess) to themselves. So I throw on an oversized pair of plain black supermarket-bought monstrosities that at least never shrink to less than my foot size, no matter how many washing cycles they endure, and tread carpets with abandon.
As for tolerating the holes, it’s partly an environmental thing. If I was ice-climbing Everest then I’d pay attention to the integrity of my foot-fabrics, but pottering around Twisted Towers on an average Saturday, not so much – even though Twisted Towers closely matches the climactic conditions of Everest’s northern flank. I wouldn’t feel comfortable chucking stuff away just because it’s imperfect. So my socks have holes, my pyjamas have bigger holes, my t-shirts and jumpers have moth-holes, some of the holes have holes. And now that we have two playful cats, even the duvet covers and the curtains are beginning to acquire holes. Occasionally I patch up a hole or two, such as this crocheted cover-up on my blog from nine (!!!) years ago. But mostly I leave the holes free to explore their individual inclinations, because who am I to stifle their creativity? The Stoic Spouse goes even further and owns t-shirts that comprise a couple of residual threads in the vaguely symbolic representation of a torso. Honestly, these shirts could almost be considered art. Should I sell them? After all, it’s not as though they’re keeping him warm.
Also – and I’m really getting in to my excuse-mongering stride at this point – I’m still at heart an impoverished young student, with quirky pictures blu-tacked to the walls, a bi-weekly caffeine-propelled essay yet to be finished at 5.00am, an ugly desk covered by an Indian block print throw, and a wish to visibly differentiate myself from the more privileged breed of Oxford University undergraduate. A hole or two at the elbow of one’s jumper was no big deal. (Seriously on the still-a-student front, the throw that thirty years ago hung from my student bedroom wall throughout my first degree now conceals the laminate ugliness of the desk in my study. It’ll doubtless feature in my retirement home soft furnishings one future day, too. I’m nothing if not consistent. It’s something of a miracle that the moths haven’t had that, too.)
Also also, I’m just naturally scruffy. Clean, but scruffy. It’s got me into trouble before now. An example: the final six month placement of my clinical psychology doctorate was in neuropsychological assessment and diagnosis. I loved it. The tiny problem was that the head of neuropsychology was an ex fashion model. (Yup, that is indeed a cool combination of career directions that I will sadly never replicate, so I’ll have to stick with psychologist-plus-knit-designer. And this might be TOO MUCH INFORMATION, but having experienced an emergency c-section and cancer-related surgery on both breasts, I sometimes joke that I’m beginning to fear that my lingerie-modelling career might never even get off the ground, especially now that I’m the wrong side of 50. Because my humour is warped like that.) But the head of neuro wasn’t impressed by long fringed skirts and Doc Martens in her department, so she got the poor man who supervised me to awkwardly pass on the message that I needed to Smarten The Hell Up Or Else. Oops. I felt so bad for him in his very obvious discomfort that I obeyed. It wasn’t his fault. But that was one financially punishing weekend in the clothes shops of central Oxford, I can tell you.
So, I’m a bit scruffy. My house is a bit scruffy, my life is a bit scruffy.
I contemplated all this the other day, as I made ludicrously last-minute preparations for Christmas. There’s a reason that I haven’t plastered pictures of our Christmas dinner table all over social media and that’s because it was… scruffy. I have this unfortunate tendency of being incapable of thinking about Christmas until it’s Christmas, or thinking about a dear friend’s birthday until that date has arrived, or contemplating dinner until it’s dinner time. The Stoic Spouse may yet divorce me for this fact, but it’s how I’m mis-wired.
Friends across the pond, I admire your ability to celebrate three occasions (Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween) because the one event (Christmas) that we properly acknowledge in this country more than stresses my ability to function beyond everyday competence. For your triple-whammy of festivity, I salute you. Scruffily, and probably a bit too late.
Jo says
I’m assuming the Easter egg on your desk is from last Easter then, and not bought in readiness for next year….?!
The Twisted Yarn says
Correct! I’m a bit slow…
Brenda says
I had the same situation when I not too long ago knit my first pair of socks. Subsequently, I bought 2 pair of wool clog slippers (because I didn’t trust my ability to felt a pair) . One is regular size and I wear them in summer, the other up one size and I wear them with socks in colder weather. An initial investment, but they save my hand knit socks and will last
forever.
I do always enjoy reading your funny and insightful stories. All the best for the New Year!!
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you so much, and the happiest of new years to you, too.
Barbara says
About 10 years ago I decided to learn knitting because the 2 pairs of socks I crocheted, when worn, felt like I was walking on iron sidewalk grates (I don’t know if they are on sidewalks in the UK). I have not returned to crochet. (And spinning at the wheel was caused by being around the house a lot for the CoVid seasons.)
SO, to get to my question: What would be the best crochet stitch to use for socks to avoid the iron grate feel? What one do you use?
The Twisted Yarn says
Um, er, eek, I’m not sure that I’m wise enough in the ways of crochet to answer this question. But maybe the more important thing is to combine soft yarn with a size of hook large enough to allow a bit of relaxation in the fabric. (I’m worried that I’ve used too small a hook for this cowl, and the fabric is horribly stiff.)
DOREEN MELLOR says
Hi Phil – I did wonder if the crochet cowl might be a bit stiff – it looks as if you have used single crochet, which is great for amigurami, because you want something solid that you can stuff hard with fleece, without it poking out between the stitches. And of course it’s also a good way to create multicolour patterns as you’ve done with the cowl, but it does also creat a solid kind of fabric.
Barbara – if using single crochet (sc) for slippers, one easy way to avoid the iron grating feeling is by loosely crocheting soft chunky yarn with an appropriately large sized hook as suggested by Phil. Now – if you work sc stitches into the ‘V’ shape of the stitches in the previous round (working in the round, in a spiral) you’ll end up with slippers that look as if they’ve been knitted with stocking/stockinette stitch (1 row plain, 1 row pearl), and thats what they’ll feel like, too.
The Twisted Yarn says
Doreen, you’re right of course. Single crocheted fabric is rather stiff, but it’s difficult to know how else to produce colourwork. The cowl will be cosy, I hope.
S H says
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your post!!! So cheerful, fun and accepting 🤗
I exude scruffy, too. And the holiday late-to-the-show awareness. I tried mightily when I was younger, but it never worked. I found a great computer design job in an office of mostly women. Our lovely boss dressed well as she had to appear in public frequently, but the rest of us lived happily in jeans and Tshirts. DH does an holiday decoration as I am still finishing gifts. No Halloween celebration, and usually we go to DS’s on Thanksgiving. New Years is sleep in as invariably one of us is ill with some bug.
At 73, there’s no turning back LOL. Now I sit happily and knit with dog on lap and don’t give a hoot anyway, despite loving fashion as a teen.
Thank you again, Dear, your posts always bring me joy!
The Twisted Yarn says
I love this, it sounds as though you’ve got life sussed. Respect to you! And also thank you for your kind words. Seriously.
Pink says
Merry Belated Christmas from a fellow scruffy knitting clin psych! You are such a warm and funny person and your posts always bring me such joy. Posting as I am intrigued, what do carpets do to handknit socks?? I only started knitting six years ago and I love knitting socks but seem to wear through them quite quickly which is a bit devastating so now I’m wondering if there is some secret I don’t know. I assumed it was just that my gauge wasn’t tight enough but now i’m intrigued…
A joyous peaceful happy and healthy New Year to you & yours when it comes
Pink
The Twisted Yarn says
Wa-hey, fellow knitting scruffy clin psych! (Are you UK-based?)
As for the carpet thing, I’m not sure about the physics of it all, but it’s definitely a thing. I guess the abrasion of fabric against carpet is problematic in a way that fabric against smooth wooden floors isn’t. Honestly, the carpet is the problem, not your gauge.
And a very joyful, healthy, peaceful new year to you and yours, too.
Elizabeth says
The Indian textile on your desk is lovely! I wouldn’t get rid of it either. I have a beaded curtain from the 60s that forms an arch across the top of the window with panels hanging down either side. Works on a window about 30-inches wide. I don’t remember how I acquired it. I think someone was “decluttering” and gave it to me, but it was long, long time ago. No way I’m ever getting rid of it though because I adore it. My daughter just rolls her eyes. That chocolate egg on your desk would have been gone instantaneously — kudos for your steely resolve while it sits there, taunting you. I have a mousepad very similar to yours. I don’t see them very often, but whoever thought that up is a genius. As for the holidays here in the States, they’re fun. I adore the children trick-or-treating — they’re so darned cute! — and, since my daughter is too old for that now, all I have to do is buy candy (the good stuff!), and put a candle inside the terra-cotta pumpkin and put it outside. Easy peasy. Then there’s Thanksgiving, which I adore. It’s all about home, and family, and food, and gratitude. For some families (okay, most families), it’s also about football (which is not the same thing as soccer). We do the requisite turkey with the traditional sides of stuffing, and yams, and cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie. Of course, that’s not all — that’s just the traditional stuff, the stuff you learn to make from your mama and your grandma. It’s all wonderful, and the house smells so good from all that delicious food. Then comes the Christmas juggernaut. All that shopping! All that decorating (inside AND out)! All that baking! All that wrapping! And then there are Christmas Eve and Christmas dinners to plan and shop for. Just thinking about it is exhausting! But I love Christmas too, People seem kinder and happier, and for a few weeks of the year I can pretend that there really can be peace on earth and goodwill to all. Yep. The holiday season is a not-so-slow slide down a razor blade into a pool of New Year’s Eve alcohol, which is coming right up. We usually stay at home for New Year’s Eve with our bottle of preferred bubbly. But I love it, all of it. It makes me happy. Hope you had a Merry Christmas, and best wishes for a Happy New Year!
The Twisted Yarn says
I smiled so much as I read your description. Thank you for such beautiful words. (I still don’t think I could muster sufficient energy for so much celebration, though.) May your new year be filled with joy and peace and discovery and laughter and health.
Teresa in Michigan says
Holey socks are a badge of honor, well deserved. Many of the fashion-conscious young people actually spend their parents hard earned money on clothes with holes in them intentionally and sometimes patched poorly to look shoddy. Holes earned by wear and work are to be revered not scorned. Stains from gardening and cooking that last minute meal or rehabbing an item to be reused should be applauded. I love scruffy or sloppy. I’m too old and newly retired to care that my socks don’t go with my shoes or that my shades of gray don’t match. Comfort and convenience are my new mantra. Without the constraints of convention I hope my creativity comes back and flows into the 7,264,943 craft projects on my list. I can’t possibly leave my children stacks of yarn and patterns, a dozen refinishing projects and all those assorted craft projects to deal with. Then there is all the yard and garden things that only I can do. I hope to earn holes and stains in my oldest clothes and whittle that list down.
Yes, we Yanks have 3 holidays to deal with in less than 2 months, but the day after one, it is time to frantically prepare for the next one. Yesterday the grocery store was fully stocked with Valentines Day candy and cards. I don’t decorate or have to cook copious amounts of food, yet I firmly believe in the “Twelve Days of Christmas”. I often give gifts during that time because I am overwhelmed with preparing Christmas for my family. Gifts to the great-grands went in the mail yesterday. They open our gifts on January 6th. Their other great grandmother loved to celebrate on that day. She died years ago so in her memory so to honor her they celebrate their great grandmothers with gifts on that day.
Keep on being your amazing, frugal, planet saving, scruffy self and we will keep reading your posts. And finally “Happy New Year” to all.
Elizabeth says
Amen, sister! Preach it! I’m right there with you, especially about the 7,264,943 craft projects. — Elizabeth
The Twisted Yarn says
Teresa, as always – because you’ve kindly been here for a long time – thank you. I hope that your holiday season has been filled with love and laughter. And since I’m writing this on new year’s eve, I hope that your new year will be all about friendship, love, giggles, discovery, and learning.
And YES re the trend for holed garments. I keep getting adverts on my Facebook page for a woollen hat with artfully placed holes. Honestly, I don’t need to spend money for such a thing.
Joanne says
We are “sole” mates when it comes to living scruffy!! I began as a kid and was the despair of my mother and friends. My husband is also scruffy, so I got lucky there!! Here’s to the “scruff-life”!!
The Twisted Yarn says
Can relate to every single word that you have written. All hale the scruff!
Maria says
I’m actually rather shocked that you were more or less blackmailed into changing your style because it was different from that of the head of department. After all you were aiming to be a clinical psychologist, not a corporate lawyer and, as you say, you were clean even if a bit scruffy.
The Twisted Yarn says
I massively appreciate your comment, because I’m not sure how to feel about the issue, and I’m curious about people’s perspectives. Sure, it wasn’t corporate law, but maybe people have a right to expect the person who is diagnosing them to look super-smart. I don’t know. It was a very well-dressed department. Fortunately the team in which I work now is a bit less concerned about the formality of work-clothes.
Maggie Bullock says
Love a good read and you never disappoint.
Cheers Maggie from across the pond
The Twisted Yarn says
As always, thank you! Wishing you the happiest of new years.
Meredithe says
Thank you Phil for a lovely hearty laugh on this last day of 2023…..and looking forward to more of your wonderful posts in 2024…scruffy or not!
Phil says
As always, a huge thank you to you. May your 2024 be filled with laughter, love, colour, health, and discovery.
Carol McKibbon says
In Canada as you probably already know, Thanksgiving is in early October so it’s slightly more spaced out. Now that there’s internet the world feels the Black Friday effect so Boxing Day sales start in early December (!?) and generally continue through the month. I don’t think Americans know the joy of Boxing Day but it’s no longer the holiday it used to be. I can’t remember the last time I had all my knitting ready for Christmas. 🤫
Catherine Robinson says
Carol, I find myself sitting here reading Phil’s blog and thinking I can relate to all of this and then I read your message and think I have found my kindred sister. I too live in Canada and especially this year think oh its ok I still have Boxing Day or New Years Day to finish the last 3 Christmas gifts – not ! so now I think there’s Ukranian Christmas but we all know how that will end as well – no finished. ugg…..
Phil says
Carol and Catherine, thank you both. And no, I didn’t know that Canada celebrated Thanksgiving, or that it was on a different date. Apologies for my cluelessness. Wishing you both a joyful, peaceful, healthy new year.
(Also, I once spent three months working and travelling in your beautiful country and I’ll forever hold the memories dear.)
Phil x
Sharon says
You know, Phil, you could always wear slippers – they’d keep your socks going for a bit longer!
I’ve learned to darn, actually quite neatly and sometimes in the same colour as the socks in question, or even a toning shade.
DH (a fellow scruff!) loves the socks I knit him, but I have to a) notice that they are going thin in places, and do reinforcing or repair work. I know Stephanie (Canadian Famous Knitter, can’t currently remember her ‘handle’) says ‘Darn!’ when she notices holes in her hand-knit socks, then bins them; but I think she knits a lot faster than I do.
And anyway, having spent sometimes weeks knitting a garment, I think it’s worth celebrating the mending of it, hence I have pink-darned elbow patches on the Cardigan I Didn’t Lose At The Science Museum!
Whatever – I always enjoy your posts and am in awe of your knitting, crochet, design and gardening skilz. Enjoy the tail end of 2023, holey socks and all, and have a great 2024!
Phil says
Hi Sharon. You’re right, slippers would be a wise idea. If only I were wise…
Canadian Stephanie: could this perhaps be the wonderful Yarn Harlot? She’s awesome.
Thank you for your kind words, and may your 2024 be better than you’d dared hope.
Teresa says
Dis regard this comment. The annoying website monitor won’t let me see the rest of the comments. I’m trying to make it work again.
Tineke says
I love it. The scruffy club on here where all seem to abide by the rule of handmade socks and not-so-up-to-date life. The moment I was a full surgeon, my oldest was born, and my life never was the same after that. Put an archaeologist late HB next to that, always digging in a hole somewhere, and you get the picture. Scruffy all the way. My MiL put all my handmade socks in the machine, together with a handmade sweater. It came out puppet-size. I gave up after that. It will be worn to the end of time, I am not planning to knit new ones.
Phil says
Huge respect to your and the scruff, but ouch to the MIL scruff-destroyer.
Julie says
The aged spouse and I wear hand knit socks 90% of the time except in summer. We have enough to last almost 2 weeks so they go in the washer on delicate every “ only 2 clean pairs left” day. They then air dry in the basement . The socks knitted 15 yrs ago will likely have holes by year 16…
Phil says
Respect. Your socks are receiving the treatment that they so richly deserve.
Elaine Magliacane says
So glad your parents suggested this post… and that you were a good daughter and obeyed. I’ve looked at that picture of your desk several times and I don’t see an Easter egg??? Is it my eyes or did you retake the photo to mess with us? I must admit I rarely wear my hand knit socks, but my fingerless gloves do get mighty scruffy, so I have enough to wear a pair a day for a week, while the others dry out. I live and travel in the Southern USA and avoid really COLD weather as my old bones can’t stand it. Today my husband has on Flip Flops… so no socks today. Happy New Year to you and all your family… best wishes for a prosperous new year.
The Twisted Yarn says
Flip flops in December?! Good grief, you truly are from a warm part of the world.
Yet again, thank you for such a lovely comment. The Easter egg is the Green And Blacks box in the middle of the photo.
Lynn Butler says
All you ladies just make me smile and laugh. But Phil you are the ringleader! I love your posts! I don’t wear socks without shoes. I need the support on our uncarpeted floors.
I don’t have holes in my socks but have a moth eaten knitted scarf I need to repair. I thought it would be a good learning project 8-10 years ago and it’s still waiting for me! Ha! Maybe I’ll dig it out and work on it. Cross it off the To Do list.
The happiest, healthiest, wealthiest New Year to all of you!
The Twisted Yarn says
Aww, you’re too kind! May the scarf-repair finally happen and may your 2024 be AWESOME!
Peggi Laubenheim says
I enjoyed your blog as always and can certainly identify with you on the preparation for holidays. I can’t get excited about Christmas until after Thanksgiving. That said, my favorite holiday is Thanksgiving and all friends and family can participate without a lot of angst.
Love to see your designs and look forward to another witty newsletter and the cardigan pattern! Thanks to you for your wonderful sense of humor, it goes a long way!
The Twisted Yarn says
And thank YOU for such generous words. May you know only joy and discovery and health and fun in 2024.
Sharon B says
On Time??? Really! It is now New Year’s Day, and I’m just reading your entertaining blog, and wondering what it is like to be on time.
The Twisted Yarn says
Honestly, I wouldn’t really know. Sorry. Happy new year, though. And thank you for your kind words.
Meredith MC says
Scruffy- That is the word I’ve been looking for! I’m not terribly concerned with perfection and neatness- which is a blessing with all the dog and cat fur my house is lined in. It’s not that I don’t clean- I do all the time- I just can’t keep up with the pets. They are really quite lovely and snuggly and I’ve learned to live with it. I keep a lint brush in my car for when I need a quick cleaning before joining society.
Thank you for sharing! Scruffy sounds pretty cozy to me.
The Twisted Yarn says
Ha, yes! Since we adopted the cats a year ago I’ve been learning all about cat fur and the crazy places it ends up.