I was hoping to have some more dramatic progress on the big-crochet-house-thingy-secret project to show you by today but, well, chicken pox round two. So we’re back to quarantine and crazy sleep-deprivation. Poor Twin 2 has got it bad, but he’s a stoical little chap, having endured far worse in his short life. Much time has been spent cuddled up on the sofa reading him stories whilst I knit a Cladonia shawl. Because after two nights of a couple of hours of sleep, I’m a bit zombie-like and not up to figuring out how to crochet a lawn-mower for the garden of the big-etc-etc project. I will show you some progress later in this post, though.
But the pre-lace section of Cladonia is a perfect easy knit for zombies. For the commenter last time (Madeline) who asked about it as she’s lining it up as her next project, here is progress so far, shown with able assistance from my non-poxy twin:-
My gauge is w-a-y titchier than it should be, so I’m going to add in extra rows/increases to compensate, and adjust the lace section to match. Will this work? I dunno: I’m too sleep-deprived to apply my brain to this – or indeed any other – matter. I’m still madly in love with this yarn though, and please don’t forget that you’ve still got time to secure a discount or win a skein of your choice from the dyer who created it. It’s beautiful stuff.
Anyway…. roses. It’s summer, so there are roses. They’re scrambling slowly over the front of the crochet-house-etc project thingy:-
I’ve still got quite a few more areas to embroider, though. And we definitely need some window-boxes, too:-
And real ones are bursting out around the garden…
…despite the fact that I <whispers> don’t like roses. At all. I live in a cottage-cum-brewery in an English village so roses are virtually mandatory – our garden was stuffed with the blighters when we moved in – but I’m sorry, I just don’t like them or their space-hogging, prickly, skin-tearing stems. And I don’t like their diva-like need for constant attention to stave off blackspot or migraines or whatever it is they’re supposed to suffer from.
Not surprisingly, the roses started getting straggly and blackspotty within about forty seconds of us moving in here. So in a fit of murderous pique, I took the secateurs and hacked the rose bushes back to the point of near-oblivion. No, gentle reader, I’m not talking about a spot of polka-dot-gloved idle pruning on a pleasantly sunny afternoon, I’M TALKING ABOUT TOTAL ROSE ARMAGGEDON. There, I thought, too lazy to dig out the stumps or roots, that’ll learn ’em. No more roses. Now I can plant some nice flowers instead.
But do you know what happened? Do you know what the blighters did? Within mere months of this butchery, they’d only gone and grown back in newly luscious exuberant health, producing bursts of blooms and leaves without a hint of blackspot.
The bastards.
Roses: they’re like those trick birthday candles that you can’t extinguish.
Oh dear, I think I need a sit-down. Where’s my knitting?
[Disclaimer: this blog post is the product of a sleep-deprived and possibly delirious mind. I really did try to butcher the roses, though.]
atcterriTerri says
August 9, 2015 at 8:05 pmRoses. Strange creatures. They love to be hacked away at. Lovely work on the crochet thingy!
The Twisted Yarn says
August 10, 2015 at 7:19 pmYup. If I’d known that, I might have deliberately NOT hacked at them, just to spite the blighters.
Postcard from Gibraltar says
August 9, 2015 at 8:23 pmOh poor you and your poorly child. I had a month in quarantine when child one got it and passed it onto child two. I nearly lost my marbles. Thank you for making me laugh out loud. You house project is beautiful!
The Twisted Yarn says
August 10, 2015 at 7:20 pmGlad to be of service in the laughter department. And thank you for your kind wishes. A month of solid quarantine sounds positively painful – glad you’ve got the pox over and done with now.
dragontearsoflove says
August 9, 2015 at 8:51 pmHope the chicken pox leaves you soon…that may be one of the most fun attempted rose-murder texts I’ve read in a long time…I just kill things through neglect. It may be the only one I’ve ever read of someone ridding themselves of blooming blighters, but I enjoyed it thoroughly. (though the roses are beautiful).
The Twisted Yarn says
August 10, 2015 at 7:23 pmThank you: I hope it doesn’t compare too badly with all those other rose-murder texts out there. And yes, I very grudgingly admit that the roses are quite pretty. (Oh, and I share your ability to kill through neglect.)
narf77 says
August 9, 2015 at 8:53 pmIf you don’t like roses try growing banksia roses. Tiny little things that climb nicely, have NO blackspot and nothing eats them. Our tea roses (that we inherited when we moved in) spend most of their lives devoid of leaves thanks to the local possum population and their adoration of rose leaves. Must be a need to protect themselves from scurvy or something but we have spiky sticks with weak flowers on them. Did you know that in derelict houses, the things that keep on keeping on, long after anyone gives a damn (or in rental houses…almost like derelict houses but with paying (sometimes 😉 ) tenants…) is roses. They are indestructible. Even in severe drought where everything else has succumbed to a complete lack of water, roses will soldier on. Try those banksia roses, they aren’t real roses obviously and give you that rosy effect with NO effort whatsoever and they don’t even have thorns. 😉
The Twisted Yarn says
August 10, 2015 at 7:28 pmInteresting. Thank you! I had to Google banksia, but they do indeed look rather more agreeable than ‘normal’ roses. There are even roses growing at my allotment – I can’t get away from the things. Meanwhile, sympathy for the possum problem. May I borrow a possum or too, please? I imagine they’d cause vegetative carnage and destruction so CUTELY.
Toni says
August 9, 2015 at 9:37 pmHello, my name is ___, and I love roses. O.O lol
Love the attempted murder story – the ending was perfect.
Your trailing ones on the crochet house are perfect, too.
Much sympathy for the pox in your house.
The Twisted Yarn says
August 10, 2015 at 7:29 pmThank you! And I do realize that my rose-aversion is something of a minority view. 🙂
jackallcraft says
August 9, 2015 at 10:50 pmOh, no more pox on your house. We had a pox-filled Easter, with the mother-of-all-colds sandwiched in between, so I feel your pain, and wish your household well.
I rather like roses – especially ones with a good scent – they remind me of my grandfather who kept a rosebed when I was a child. I’ve not yet tried actually growing any. The one sad pathetic specimen we had in our garden was annihilated when we relandscaped, and I’m not quite brave enough to try bothering with planting a new one yet – it’ll only die on me and I’ll be disappointed, or the boys will butcher it.
I love the house thingy thing. 🙂
The Twisted Yarn says
August 10, 2015 at 7:32 pmYup, not fun is it? I guess you’re all properly better by now?
I do realize my rose-aversion is a minority view. And like you I had a grandfather who cultivated roses: I was silently apologising to him whilst writing that post.
You can have our rose bushes, if you like – they’re bombproof. 😉
jackallcraft says
August 19, 2015 at 11:29 amOh yes, Easter was a scarily long time ago now.
I’m not sure I should admit this here, but I actually bought a rose for my garden yesterday. Strongly scented, reminds me of my childhood home and my grandfather, and its named ‘Easy Going’, so I was lulled into a sense of security that it wouldn’t be too fickle. Let’s hope it’s not named in irony.
arlingwoman says
August 10, 2015 at 12:50 amYour house project is a lovely fantasy. As was chopping away at the roses, but a different kind of fantasy. Hope is all well in pox land very soon. Or that you emerge from pox land, that is.
The Twisted Yarn says
August 10, 2015 at 7:32 pmThank you. All will be well very soon, I’m sure, and I’ll stop taking out my frustration on the roses.
kirkykoo79 says
August 10, 2015 at 4:19 amPlants are like that. I had an orchid that was doing okay until I decided to feed it (with proper overpriced orchid food). Then it died melodramatically.
Your roses and the secret crochet house thing look beautiful. Hope the pox passes soon.
The Twisted Yarn says
August 10, 2015 at 7:40 pmYup. An orchid-expert I met informed me that orchids thrive on neglect. So you were doing fine until you paid it all that attention.
corine24 says
August 10, 2015 at 5:32 amI love roses, but not all of them. And I like rosebuds. Cute as they are. But what I really like are wild flowers. And no way you can get rid of them, as they always come back. 🙂
Hope you all feel better now.
The Twisted Yarn says
August 10, 2015 at 8:30 pmAnd wild flowers are more interesting and delicate, too.
Woollen Wildnerness says
August 10, 2015 at 6:50 amOhnoes, hopefully the pix situation will soon be resolved! And sounds like you gave those roses what they deserved, but they do look pretty though!
The Twisted Yarn says
August 10, 2015 at 8:40 pmYes but I hope you realize that they’re prettiness this summer is simply a plot to spite me…
pennylibrarian says
August 10, 2015 at 7:21 amI’ve had a thing against roses ever since the time that I attempted to catch a ball, failed spectacularly and ended up in a back bend over a bed of the blighters. Scarred I tell you: Emotionally *and* physically.
Hope the pox passes, x.
The Twisted Yarn says
August 10, 2015 at 8:40 pmOUCH! I really did wince when I read this. You surely have a lifetime exemption from having to like roses.
Tajana says
August 10, 2015 at 7:30 amCall me call me!!! I’m a real plant killer!!!! This is the only time my superpower can be helpful!!
The Twisted Yarn says
August 10, 2015 at 8:42 pmYou made me giggle! You are very welcome to pop over and annihilate my roses any time. (As long as you bring crochet hooks and knitting needles, too.)
Tajana says
August 11, 2015 at 5:31 am?????????????? DEAL!!!
Carole says
August 10, 2015 at 12:43 pmI don’t like roses either. If I’m going to spend time nurturing plants, I’d like to get something edible at the end.
How typical though that you tried to butcher the things and they bounced back. No doubt if you’d molly-coddled them, they’d have died just to spite you.
The Twisted Yarn says
August 10, 2015 at 8:56 pmYup, I absolutely agree about the satisfaction of growing something that you can eat.
(And yes, the second part of your comment is undoubtedly correct.)
djdfr says
August 11, 2015 at 7:11 pmI have made rose petal jam. It tasted like artichokes.
nanacathy2 says
August 10, 2015 at 1:19 pmNice rose! Actually your pruned them just the way they like. Hope you all recover soon.
The Twisted Yarn says
August 10, 2015 at 8:37 pmThank you. And yes, I fear that I can hear them chuckling at my naivety.
Jenny - thegeekyknit (@riley_jl) says
August 10, 2015 at 2:34 pmI’m really sorry you are sleep deprived, and poor toddler twinnage with their chicken pox! But this was an excellent post to read 🙂 I love the idea of rose Armageddon haha 😀 I’m thinking quaint English version of the american blockbuster? hope everyone gets well soon jenny xx
The Twisted Yarn says
August 10, 2015 at 8:36 pmThank you! And yes, this would be a somewhat more gentile filmic scenario: a little more Miss Marple than Terminator.
Gillian says
August 10, 2015 at 3:56 pmYou’ll have to try harder to murder the roses.
The Twisted Yarn says
August 10, 2015 at 8:35 pmThis is indeed becoming apparent. Napalm? A targeted nuclear strike?
rthepotter says
August 10, 2015 at 7:28 pmDifficult to kill roses when you actually want to. One of mine was chopped down, dug up, left to dry for a couple of weeks, and replanted in kerosene-polluted soil. It is now 12 feet high and the healthiest-looking of any in my garden. I try to draw encouragement from this when life chops me off at the ankles, but it’s difficult to warm to moral lessons from the vegetable world.
Sympathy on pox, poor little loves.
The Twisted Yarn says
August 10, 2015 at 8:34 pmYour comment made me giggle. 🙂 Yes, we need to learn from the roses. When life dumps us in kerosene, we must grow stronger. Or something.
epicyarns says
August 10, 2015 at 9:18 pmOh no, hope all is well soon! The house project looks amazing and I do love your penguin classics deckchair. X
slippedstitches says
August 11, 2015 at 2:32 amOh I am a rose lover! Especially old world roses. They are high maintenance. I wish mine looked as lovely as yours! The house project is absolutely beautiful and I love the shawl too. Hope the chicken pox passes quickly.
wightstitches says
August 11, 2015 at 11:05 pmBless your (hand knitted) cotton socks! But the failed rose assassination made me smile. Hope the little darlings are soon pox free (and it’s good that they will get it over with and not have to worry about catching it as adults). Loving the intriguing house oojamaflip! lol 🙂
Crochet Club says
August 13, 2015 at 7:54 amThe roses… Forgiving. Accepting. Giving despite all… You have to hand it to them! Love your embroidery.
Alicadabra says
August 13, 2015 at 3:03 pmOh no – not the Return of the Pox! Hope the poor little chap recovers quickly.
On a more yarn-related note, your embroidered roses are (despite your loathing of the subject matter) very beautiful indeed.
Gallivanta says
August 16, 2015 at 11:17 amIf only the pox could have been on your roses instead of your child. Then all your troubles would have been over and peaceful sleep would have ensued. 😉