I saw the weirdest thing today (whilst knitting, obviously).
There I was, flicking through a perfectly normal gardening catalogue, thus proving through one simple action that I’ve left my youth behind forever, when I came across the most spooky mutant plant thingy that I’ve ever seen.
The TomTato. And I’m not even joking. Look:-
How spooksome is that?! You plant this oddball in a pot, and whilst above ground you get a lovely crop of cherry tomatoes, below ground the roots are busy making… potatoes∗. See? Freaky. If they could just somehow graft a live cow onto the side, you’d practically have the makings of a beef hotpot (or possibly a futuristic horror movie) right there in one tub.
Gotta be easier than the vying-for-space that goes on between the potatoes and tomatoes (and other veg) that I’m growing on the patio:-
I didn’t even know that this could be done, but it got my knitting head thinking – what else might be possible? Imagine if, the next time you buy a 50% wool, 50% alpaca ball of yarn, it comes from one animal? May I present… the sheepaca!
Actually, it has been tried (properly crossing a sheep and an alpaca, I mean), in order to breed hybrids to guard flocks of sheep. But I assume that the idea didn’t really catch on, because I can’t find a photo. And there’s a llama-alpaca hybrid called a huarizo, which sounds rather blissfully knittable. I think we need a few of those for the lawn.
In my fantasies, I’d turn our whole back garden over to a Good Life – style smallholding, chock-full of veg and fruit and yarn-producing creatures. Meanwhile, the Stoic Spouse dreams of a miniature railway paradise out there. We’re compromising by doing something that’s completely different from either of these, because surely the point of a good and fair marriage is to make certain that both parties are equal in their gloomy disillusionment?
Seriously, though, whilst the Stoic Spouse begins his annual summer campaign of repairing the bits of the house that dropped off over the winter… (any idea what this bit is and where it goes??):-
…I’m completely (and very slowly) redesigning the garden. Out will come all the dull overgrown shrubs, and in will come many, many, many bulbs spanning every season, and also a few fruit trees, including cherries to celebrate the cherry-growing heritage of this village. So if my rate of knitting/crochet has been slow of late, then my rate of cursing stubborn tree roots as I dig them out has been rather greater.
So yeah. That’s about it. Time to get on with some knitting, methinks.
∗ Yes, I am indeed aware that tomatoes and potatoes are related, but thank you for checking, nonetheless.
Reading your blog brings much joy into my life. Many thanks for your uplifting spirit combined with knitting knowledge!
Oh thank you for such a kind-hearted comment. I’m honoured and delighted when someone says they enjoy my silliness.
Delightfully hybrid schadenfreude in this post Ms T. That thing-a-ma-hoozits appears to be a gentleman’s finial used predominately for holding onto when one exits the hot and steamy interior of your once-while pub domicile and the cold air hits said gentleman and his knees suddenly no longer want to perambulate him back home to the dulcet tones of his trouble and strife (armed with the biggest rolling pin that she can find). This esteemed chunk of iron has most probably righted the wrongs of many an esteemed gentleman prior to tottering off down the road (most probably in the wrong direction) home. You can do the thang with eggplants and spuds as well as tobacco and spuds I hear. There are also crazy hybrids whereby people have crossed some of the more hallucinogenic varietals of the Solanaceae family and had an entirely interesting experience whilst downing their potato salad. With the onset of winter here, I am wholeheartedly embracing my inner crochet fiend. I have some knitting prospects in my peripherals but as of at the moment, they are just that, “peripherals” like those strange little bits of flotsam that waft through your eyeballs like tiny aqueous U.F.O’s. I keep looking out for circular knitting needles at the thrift shop. I am ever tight and erstwhile optimistic about finding some. When I wasn’t vaguely interested in them there were containers laden with the bloody things. All I wanted to find was a crochet hook or two but I kept getting stabbed by circular needles. Now they are like hens teeth! Can’t wait to see your seedlings being rotated from the shady spots of the garden through to the warm sunny areas via the Stoic Spouses intricate railway system. You could charge admission for that and think of how many bulbs you could buy then?!
I love your comments so much (as well as your blog, obviously), that I don’t even know where to begin replying. Tobacco and spuds????! Chips and a smoke from one plant!
Wishing you much luck in your search for circulars. You just need to find a way to convince the universe that you’re looking for crochet hooks again…
My brain is as smart as the dogs when they know they are due for a flea treatment. I can’t fool it any more Ms T and if I can’t fool my own brain, I doubt I can pull the wool over the universes eyes but I will keep on hunting for those circulars till I throw up my (tight) hands and head off and buy some (that I will promptly never use again 😉 )
Hmmmm TomTato. I’m just not there yet. Will you get one for your garden?
I love the idea of a cherry tree and an assortment of year round bulbs. It sounds gorgeous. I can’t wait to see it come to fruition.
Thanks. It’s going to take a year, realistically, so don’t hold your breath!
Given that you know infinitely more about gardening than I do, do you mind me asking what your reservations about the TomTato are? No I wasn’t planning to get one, because it just seems easier to grow the two crops separately.
That TomTato, tomatoes and potatoes are of the same family, so I suppose it was only a matter of time. Looks pretty good for those with little ground for growing crops!
Looks as if there’s more than enough to worry about in the ‘Frankenplant’ world without getting into actual GM.