Morning all. Right, before we go any further, a quick announcement. I’ve just made all of my patterns free (using the code ANTIVIRAL at the checkout) because it doesn’t feel right to take money whilst people are losing their livelihoods. You can find the patterns here. Most of my designs were free anyway, but for now, they all are.
Anyway, to the subject of today’s post. I don’t usually discuss psychology stuff on here, because I like to keep this blog very separate from the day job, but I think that today might be the time to make an exception. There’s no getting away from the subject that’s on everyone’s minds right now: this pesky little virus that’s trampling all over everyone’s lives. So tiny, yet so RUDE!
So with my psychologist hat on (an extravagantly purple affair with orange sparkly feathers atop, in case you’re curious), may I humbly share some tips for surviving emotionally in these crazy times. The advice here is aimed at those of you who are stuck at home rather more than you’d prefer. Of course, you’re at an immediate advantage by virtue of the fact that you knit/crochet. That means you rarely face the problem, How am I going to fill this time?
There’s no getting away from the fact that we’re living in scary times. The frequency of use of the word ‘unprecedented’ is, quite frankly, unprecedented. It’s natural to feel anxious. You’re anxious. I’m anxious. Even my computer seems to be running its antiviral software more often than usual. But the risk is that unchecked worrying could lead to full-on depression/anxiety, and that is, by its very definition, NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY FUN. So here are a few things to consider whilst you’re stuck at home watching the world go bonkers.
- Goals. We all need ambitions. We need to feel that we’re travelling somewhere, even whilst we’re stuck at home with an uncertain employment situation and swarms of children who seem to think we’re their parent. But think: despite the constraints you’re facing, is there something that your time and isolation enables you to do that would normally be impossible? Learn the ukulele or the harmonica (via YouTube videos)? Start growing vegetables? Work towards doing 50 push-ups per day? Paint the kitchen? Master vegan baking? Meditate? Learn to speak Portuguese? Doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it’s an enticing challenge for you. Ideally, set a very specific goal, so “I’m going to make a 3-d crocheted model of the Taj Mahal in lace-weight yarn” is better than “Yeah, I’ll probably do some crochet”. The more you’re focused on your crazy, hare-brained goal, the less you’ll be focused on the other things you can’t do right now. It’s better for this to be ‘the year you invented Cuban-Icelandic fusion food’ than ‘the year when you couldn’t go to choir’. Of course these goals could be for you alone or for your whole family together.
- Pleasure versus mastery. We all need a balance in our lives between things that are fun (pleasure) and things that challenge us (mastery) – not that the two are mutually exclusive. Yes you could sit on the sofa all day in your PJs watching films… and that might give you high scores for ‘pleasure’ for a little while, but it doesn’t involve much effort (mastery), and so you’ll likely find that your mood and motivation begin to dip. At the other extreme, you could use this time to singlehandedly re-tile the roof, which whilst extremely difficult (mastery) yields pretty much zero pleasure, if only because it’s cold, and the relentless rain is getting into your underwear. Neither of those scenarios is ideal: instead, I’d advise a balance between periods of TV-indulgence and periods of soggy-underweared-roof-re-tiling. We really do need both.
- Get real. The internet is great. Far be it from me to say otherwise. BUT, try and do some things that are – for want of a better word – real. Bake a cake, grow some vegetables, feed the birds, cuddle the cat, play the piano. Why? These activities engage most of your senses. (I said ‘most’ – please do not lick your cat.) At a time of high anxiety, tasks like these are grounding. They bring you – quite literally in the case of gardening – back down to earth from that horrible sky-high cloud of fear that you risk visiting. And activities like these can mostly carry on as normal – they’re a reminder that not everything has gone crazy. Also, constructive activities like growing vegetables provide the reassuring sense of doing something useful. A great deal of what most of us are facing is about stopping things or avoiding things – it’s good to feel that you’re doing something positive to prepare, such as growing a whole heap of tasty potatoes that’ll keep you going for the next few months.
- The basics. At times of weirdness, it’s easy to forget the basic things that help to keep us healthy and emotionally sorted: sleep, exercise, fresh food, water, time outdoors. Please try not to neglect these, because your immune system and your emotional health could take a hit if you do.
I hope that helps, and I hope that you and yours are doing OK. Normal yarny service will be resumed forthwith.
One last thing. May I ask a small favour please? It’s my mum’s (Mother Twisted) birthday this week, and it’s fair to say that isolation at home staring at the walls with Father Twisted wasn’t quite her idea of celebration so if you’ve a moment to spare, please could you wish her a happy birthday in the comments? Thank you – your kindness is appreciated. She will probably murder me for directing attention her way, but I shall die happy.
Stay healthy, people. And carry on knitting/hooking.
B says
Happy birthday Mother Twisted
Helen Harle says
Thank you for an excellent post highlighting all the positive things we can still do. Apart from not seeing my grandchildren I have enough to keep me busy for about 6 months, so no worries there.
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted, next year’s will be better!
Pippa says
Happy birthday, Mother Twisted! Hope you have a happy day!
Liz Buxton says
Happy birthday, Mother Twisted! We’re all thinking about you.
Best wishes,
Liz.
Alice says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted! I’m so sorry that you won’t be able to celebrate with your wonderful daughter (not to mention the stoic spouse and the grand-twinnage) but I hope you have a lovely day nonetheless.
And thank you Ms T for the wise words. Alas, I seem to have picked the wrong career for these troubled times, so I’m not going to have much of that lovely extra time to write my bestselling novel, learn Swahili, or sculpt a 6 foot coronavirus out of twigs and leaves.
Instead I have three extra people invading my home office, making noise and mess and – in the case of two of them – in need of some kind of home-schooling too. But I shall do my best to embrace it as an opportunity. I’m pretty sure we’ll find a way to throw in a bit of pleasure and mastery…
Nic says
Thank you a few very sensible reminders with this post, it’s easy to forget the really important things in times of craziness. I’m spending today knitting socks, making an Easter bonnet with one daughter and a Lego model with another – makes it feel like any other Saturday ????
Happy birthday to your Mum ????
glendaosnach4295 says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted and many more! I will try and follow your daughter’s advice re all the positive things to do during this time!
Lorna Reid says
Happy Birthday Ma Twisted – my Xmas dinners where something has gone disasterously wrong (and sadly, yes, there’s been more than one) have been remembered long after my festive culinary successes. Though this birthday will never be forgotten, you now have sincere well wishes from folks inside a computer xxx
Liz says
Best wishes for a very happy birthday Mother Twisted x
ChrisJ says
Happy Birthday from across the Pond, Mother Twisted! You are to be commended for raising such a fine, helpful, funny daughter!
Jane E Gourley says
Thank you for your upbeat and helpful blog post. Making your patterns free is a lovely way to contribute a little happiness to some people. Hope Mother Twisted has a relaxing birthday and that next year she can celebrate extravagantly.
Jo says
Thank you for donning your oh-so-jaunty professional hat – a great post with useful, easily implementable information – which, as ever made me actually lol…twice!
And…
Hiccy Burpday, Mother Twisted,
Stay safe, stay well, stay home.
????
Geraldine Frances Halama says
Thanks for advice with which I heartily agree, crafting and gardening have helped me through tough times over the years. Happy Birthday to your Mum and all people feeling isolated and bereft at this time. Also Happy Mothering Sunday to all.
Sarah says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted!! It’s my dad’s today and it all feels very weird. The children really want to see him and he wants to see them, but he is in the vulnerable category. Let’s hope Mother Twisted and daddy enjoy their days the best they can xx
barbara harrison says
What a great post with sound advice.Happy birthday and Happy Mother’s Day to your mum too and you.Every Mother’s Day our daughter,husband and Emily and Ruby go to Talacre Beach in North Wales and then call to see us.We always have a photo of the four of us,three generations, but not this year.
Sharon Marson says
Good family life is never an accident, but always an achievement by those who share it!
Happy Birthday Dear Mother Twisted!
Cheryl Adam says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted! My daughter in law has the same birthday. We have a family tradition that every birthday, no matter where we are, we call the birthday celebrator and sing Happy Birthday, loudly and off key. My family is singing to you right now! Happy Birthday from the USA.
Carol says
Happy Birthday! You have a lovely daughter!
Sally R. says
Happy, Happy Birthday, Mother Twisted! May you celebrate your special day in all ways that bring you joy!
Nancy Claussen says
A very happy birthday to Mother Twisted!
Cecelia says
Happy Birthday Phil’s Mom — from America! Enjoy the day as best you can, and know your daughter loves you!
Kathy says
Thank you so much for your blog. A good laugh is a great thing! It is especially welcome while all these other “unprecedented” bad news stories are taking place.
Happy birthday Mother Twisted!! ????????????
KTaylor says
Lovely post. Thank you. Happy Birthday Mother Twisted!
Nicola says
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Nicola says
Darn, hit Enter before I was done. Happy Birthday Mother Twisted. And thank you Phil, for some common sense advice and free patterns. And photos of beautiful Robin of course.
myriam says
happy birthday mother Twisted, enjoy your day the best you can, lots of people think of you!
Lorraine Watts says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted from British Columbia, Canada. Have a wonderful day ????????????
Thank you for your blog. I am sure you have helped quite a few people think differently from it. Have an awesome day. ????
Jaye says
Wishing you all the very best on your special day
Astrid Der Kinderen says
Happy Birthday!! Thank you for the sensible advice. Luckily I am normally a positive person so it’s already second nature. Love the pictures of Robyn the robin. Her comments made me smile. Also thank you for the free pattern gift. I will have a look.
Astrid der Kinderen says
???? I picked three of you’re gorgeous patterns and will enjoy making them.
Ava says
Thank you for your uplifting post, and for your generosity with your patterns. The happiest of birthdays to Mother Twisted!
dominique berlureau says
Bon anniversaire Mother Twisted ! Thank you Phil !
Ashley says
Thank you for a wonderful post!! We all need a little help with anxiety right now.
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted!!!
Jude says
Happy Birthday mother Twisted! Birthday greeting from sunny Delft, the Netherlands. Hope you have a good one, in spite of the weirdness around us. And might I add: you really did a great job when you put your fantastic daughter into this world ????
Emilia Barbosa says
Happy birthday, Mother Twisted! Stay safe
daisy says
thankyou very much for the freebie patterns … i LOVE your patterns.
and…
i always LOVE your pics …the one here showing Robyn with all her feathers spread out is spectacular!!! you might consider entering it into a contest.
keep safe!
best regards always,
daisy 🙂
Ann says
Thank you for this informative post, I have started a ‘small list’ to help keep my husband from going crazy over the next few months!
Happy birthday Mother Twisted. x
Jan Brodie says
Happy Birthday, Mother Twisted, and happy Mothers day for this sunday (UK), hope you have a lovely day for each/both.
That hat sounds rather fabulous, and thank you for your voice of reason. I shall be working from home to help keep us churning over, but my “travel time” can now be crafting time instead ????
Thank you for also sharing your patterns ????
Julia Dain says
Penblwydd hapus, mam cyfrodedd.. Diolch yn fawr Phil.- great post.
Mother Twisted says
Diolch yn fair.
Anne Watts says
Thanks Phil, wise words. Happy Birthday Mother Twisted.
Sarah Nichols says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted! Wishing you health and happiness xxx
Mrs K says
Wishing Mother Twisted a very happy birthday and a happy mother’s day too.
Lizzybee says
Happy birthday mother twisted x
The Twisted Yarn says
She says thanks!
JeN says
Thank you and a very happy birthday to Mother Twisted x
The Twisted Yarn says
She appreciates it – thank you!
Julie Briggs says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted ,I’m going to be in the same boat in April and know I will miss my children and grandchildren ( we have a twinnage in our family too) but maybe we will appreciate family gatherings more in the future.
The Twisted Yarn says
Yes that’s surely true – when all this is over, we’ll never take family togetherness for granted. Wishing health to you and your entire family.
britbobbi says
Thank you so much for the free patterns, so sweet and kind of you! I downloaded the Florence cushion because I just completed my first sweater with color work and now believe I can do ANYTHING! LOL! Also, I wanted to wish Mother Twisted a very happy birthday and a Happy Mother’s Day. I am sure she is proud of you and I am certainly a HUGE fan of your blog.
The Twisted Yarn says
Glad to be of service in these crazy, crazy times.
Jenny Palin says
Happy Birthday to your Mother. I turn 46 tomorrow. After a horrible nights sleep waking to panic I really need to read this. I’ve let the crippling anxiety sneak back in because I can’t learn to shut off the crazy media or put down my phone. So there’s not a bomb on my house and my state is still allowed outside.
Thank you for your reflection and great advice. From someone with GAD and Panic Disorder I need all I can get right now. And Knitting, quilting and even ironing! ???? from Jenny in KAnsas – PS we follow each other on insta I’m the jennwren_74
The Twisted Yarn says
It’s hard, it really is. Can you find something on your phone that makes you smile instead. We WILL come through this, we really will. And yes, I absolutely recognize your Insta name. ❤️
rebelflairsnowbird says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted, hope you have a lovely day encouraged by all the good wishes. You must be a knitter/crocheted too, so being bored not happening.
Thanks Phil for your interesting blog and supportive suggestions. Gardening is starting here, so I’m busy too! Thanks for sharing your patterns with all of us. You are so generous.
The Twisted Yarn says
Gardening is the BEST therapy. Enjoy.
Ms Sue says
HaPpY BirThDaY Mother Twisted! I’d sing but you wouldn’t enjoy that any more than having to stay home. When this is all over, I say we celebrate – birthday’s, anniversaries, and life itself. Nothing like having a party to look forward too, even if we can’t set the date just yet.
Thank you for sharing your lovely patterns. I always love your pictures, especially of Lady Robyn.
The Twisted Yarn says
Yup, when things are definitely safe again, let’s CELEBRATE.
Lynn says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted! Many happy experiences and memories in the year to come!
Thank you Phil for a very positive message! It’s much appreciated! I really laughed at the comment about the computer running its antivirus software. Too funny!
The Twisted Yarn says
Glad to be of service. ???? And my mum has messaged to say how much she appreciates everyone’s good wishes.
Sarah Nichols says
I think I may have found one goal! Just downloaded a pattern written for mahic loop which has always completely baffled me so I hope to master it in the weeks ahead. Wish me luck! Thanks for such a caring blog post. Bless you! X
The Twisted Yarn says
YES! You do indeed have your mission. GOOD LUCK.
Sue Beard says
Thank you for such wise words. Happy birthday Mothered Twisted. Happy Mother’s Day to you both
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you. Seriously. ????