I’m not very good at Christmas.
You’d think that the fact it always occurs on the same date would lend it a certain predictability, but no. It takes me by surprise, every single year. I’m not very good at looking ahead to dates – or even times – in general. It’s a source of irritation to the Stoic Spouse that I’m incapable of thinking about dinner until, er, dinnertime. Booking a holiday ahead of the actual date we’re planning to go? Forget it. Beginning work on something until the deadline is slapping me around the face with a wet kipper? Nope.
And it’s a source of shame that I’m incapable of thinking about the birthdays of my dear friends and family until… their birthdays. (Just for the record, I swear that it’s not that I don’t care about other people: I’m equally rubbish with my own birthday… which is tomorrow… yet still I regard questions about what I want to do that day as impossible to answer because HOW COULD I POSSIBLY KNOW THIS FAR IN ADVANCE?! Tomorrow, I will at last have ALL THE IDEAS.) I should probably see a psychologist. Oh wait, I am a psychologist…
But I try, I really try. One thing that we do manage in these ‘ere parts is to get the Christmas tree up some time in the first half of December. Job done, with decorative style by the twinnage. (I just did the lights and the star on top.)
And I’ve baked the Christmas cake, and am feeding it brandy on a weekly basis. (It’s a thirsty blighter.)
And I’m trying to improve as a human being, I really am. Without much success so far.
Anyway.
I realize that some of you might begin contemplating the big day before Father Christmas has already landed in your hearth and devoured a mince pie or two, so here’s something for you. Seven (!) years ago, I was commissioned by the Tesco website to design a quick-to-make knitted Christmas decoration, so I thought I’d reshare it here. (It’s no longer available on the Tesco site.) Look!
It’s a ridiculously easy make. The pattern is in THIS BLOG POST.
Want a crocheted version? That’s OK too. Look!

You can whip one of these blighters up in no time. Even if you’re not very good at planning ahead.
Enjoy.
That made me laugh out loud, Phil, as I am also a December girl and equaly silly if it comes to planning. Before this pandemic hit I could just think “let’s go on holiday”, go to HR and make someone utterly frustrated. I had to plan that. But my kids are free from school! You know that a year before it happens! Oh, yes, they do seems to have a yearly big holiday. Anyway, it always worked out just fine in the end, we did usually had a lovely holiday. XD My kids plan for my birthday so I am fine in that category, now lets bake that cake before they come XD
Sounds as though you’ve got life sorted. Happy birthday-month to you too!
Same, dear <3
🙂
I needed the chuckle only you can provide. Thanks for making me smile. Happy Birthday. Merry Christmas. The twinage did an amazing job on the tree. What did you have to bribe them with? The trees are adorable whether they are needled or hooked.
I’m so sorry you have the procrastination bug as well. Christmas gifts are nearly done. The knitted projects will be used for January birthdays as my wrist is giving me problems. May your magic fingers never AGE! But I always think I have more time for events than I do. In fact I need to get the Christmas package sent soon.
Now about that drunk cake in your kitchen. . . . Have a happy holiday season and a better 2022.
Aww thank you Teresa! I’m very impressed at your planning ahead – especially with wrist problems. (Hope that’s only a temporary thing – the wrist problem I mean.)
Happy, happy Birthday!
I completely relate to the issue of not seeing Christmas coming in advance (or, like you, anything else!). I will have my birthday on the 17th. Maybe it’s a Sagittarius thing, or maybe a Creative thing?
Just be yourself, don’t try to change. I’m older than you and I know there’s no point to it.
I love getting notice of your blog posts on email. I get such a kick out of them! I always get a laugh or three!
Thank you,
Kathy
Thank you Kathy, you’re very kind. And a big happy birthday to you on the 17th!
Terrific twinnage tree trimming! And a very happy birthday for tomorrow – don‘t stress about improving as a human being, we love you just the way you are!! Anyone who can wrangle robins, knit socks while walking AND steek the living daylights out of her knitting is ok in my book. And desrves some of the brandy that cake is getting…
Thank you so much! And yeah, maybe I should test a little bit of the brandy… just to make sure it’s OK…
Phil, happy, happy birthday wishes from Canada – hope you stay healthy and cracker-funny-witty, and please keep the posts coming. All the very best! Monika
Thank you so much Monika!
Now THIS I believe I am capable of. At least, possibly ..
Hello Extremely Talented One ! – howyerdoinorright ? Hope so indeed.
XO from Downunder, for xmas. Even though you’re hopeless at it.
Hello, hello! I hope you’re enjoying some sunshine down there. (Would you like to borrow a raincloud or two? We have plenty to spare…) A very merry Christmas to you and yours.
And a very happy birthday to the wife of the Stoic Spouse and the mother of the Twinnage !!!
Thank you!
You’re WAY ahead of me in Christmas preparations! Now I have to drop everything I was doing (shopping for presents oh Amazon) and make some cute little Christmas trees! Thank you! And have a lovely holiday!
Oops, sorry!
Happy Birthday indeed, Phil. Make the most of whatever the Stoic Spouse and Twinnage come up with for you tomorrow. Of course we all want to hear all about it!
& the Twinnage have evidently inherited some of your creative talent, that tree is amazing. We still have to find which Box ours was packed into before we moved. Last March!
Yikes, good luck in the festive box-hunt! (Birthday was a quiet one but was lovely, thank you. It involved Lebanese food, which made me very happy.)
Happy nearly Cake day!
Thank you!!
Wishing you a very, very happy birthday. You don’t need to try to be a “better human being” as I’m sure your loved ones will agree. You are exactly right as you are with your foibles, creativity, warm and generous nature. You have an affinity with nature, interact brilliantly with myriad members of humanity seen and unseen have nurtured creative twins who’ve done a beautiful tree decorating job. What was thought to be a wonderful builder turned out to be not a Knight in shining armour but rather a son of a b*tch cowboy, and so I will be continuing to camp out in a building site (inside & out) with 4 cats 13, 12, 8 & 4 years old and my by then 15 month old trainee Assistance GSD dog. I wasn’t going to bother acknowledging Christmas this year (Bah humbug), I don’t knit (though I follow your blog fervently) but I do crochet and I love your little trees. So much so that I am going to dig out the tree and it’s decorations from 1982-2019, grab some wool to make your tree decorations and reclaim my tradition of a new Christmas decoration each year and claim my house as my home. Thanks Phil 🙂
Thank you so much Lucy! I might not deserve your generous words, but I appreciate them. And I’m honoured that you’re planning to use the Christmas tree crochet pattern. But eek to the camping out in a building site in the middle of winter. That sounds… not fun. Very not fun.
Best wishes for a lovely birthday
Thank you!
Happy birthday and merry Christmas too!
Thank you, and the merriest of Christmasses to you, too.
❤❤❤
I love this post! Well, all your posts are fantastic. I can hear your lovely accent and verbage all the way to the foothills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains here in California. Thank you for your wit and wisdom. It is so refreshing. AND, I appreciate a little crochet thrown in now and then. Your Christmas trees are adorable. Can’t wait to make some. AND Happy, Happy, happy, birthday and Merry Christmas too!
Thank you so much Heidi! Yes, I should do more crochet – I’ve been slacking in that lately. I hope you have a blissful Christmas amongst the mountain scenery.
Happy birthday, Phil, and have a lovely Christmas! Xx
Thank you so much. And may you have a lovely, peaceful Christmas too.
Happy Birthday!
Now there seems a common theme running through this I am also a December gal and we all seem to have the same problem! Yeah as in how is it your birthday, I bought the card ages ago and now you say it’s today!!! How does this happen, Christmas, holidays well they just sneak up on you days before they are meant to happen! Thanks for your wonderful posts about everything and also for the crochet tree I am
Most pleased. Have a jolly old Christmas and just a warning it will be here before we can blink and turn around.
Thank you! And solidarity in the dates-sneaking-up-on-you thing. Also, have a good birthday whenever it is this month.
Many happy returns of the day! My mum was the same with dinner; she started thinking about it when we all got hungry which led to lots of late dinners!
That’s a lovely looking tree that you’ve got there; well done boys.
Best wishes
Jane
Yeah, it’s not a good trait. I’m sorry that your mum was the same!
Happy Birthday, Phil. <3 I am with you. Christmas is a surprise, every year! xXx
Thank you Jane! And it’s reassuring to hear that I’m not alone.
Happy Birthday and thank you for the laugh!
Thank you on both counts!
Hi Phil – I have for the last 12 years or so knitted these trees – and when my daughter and beau come for Christmas celebration, they are decorating the new ones while I am reading loud something Christmassy.. Now all the trees stand together on a blue cloth with white stars, and we hold hands and walk around them , singing Carols.- We feel like giants looking down on a magical forest, wreathed with presents. I have a photo of it, if you would like to see it 🙂
Oh that’s so so so so lovely! I would love to see a photo! My email is thetwistedyarn AT outlook DOT com. Hope that makes sense. Merry Christmas!
Happy Birthday, Phil. Christmas? What? When? No rush. If I miss it on Dec 25th, I can celebrate it on Jan 7th ( Russian Orthodox Christmas/ Coptic Christmas) . The twinnage did an excellent job with the tree.
I LIKE your thinking! It’s always good to have options…
Agreed.
Whose is the photobombing elbow? 😀
One of the twinnage. I decided that a single elbow wasn’t too much of a violation of his privacy. 🙂
Pretty tree!. You are ahead of our household in many ways – I bought a new decoration this week and a packet of Christmas napkins two days ago – that’s as far as I’ve got so far. As for feeding the cake – totally gave up making my own a few years ago as I am the only one who’ll eat it – bit sad I know, but also a bonus as I do not stress about just how wonky the marzipan and icing may turn out (based on my first year with a very sloped cake and icing not setting, so the ruff stuck to the outside and the sides basically came off as I unwrapped the cake to cut it!). Enjoy your continued preparations – and I’m sure friends who get missed will understand what a busy time of year it is for most people!
Thank you. New decoration plus napkins: yeah, I’d say you’re pretty much there. Possibly add in a turkey and a couple of gifts and…
Not to forget a bottle of plonk or two!
Oh, those trees are cute! You and I could be sisters! My lack of planning on my birthday is intentional, however. I take what the day brings.
Happy Happy Birthday. I love the little trees and I am going to make some of them. It is a busy time of year and it seems like this year I haven’t gotten anything done like I have in years past. I am o.k. with that. I say just enjoy the season in whatever way you want.
Happy belated birthday! Reading your blog always inspires me. Enjoy the holidays!