Hello, my Fine Fibrous Friends.
First, may I apologize for accidentally giving the false impression last post that I was injured or ill. The knitting-in-bed-with-a-view photo was purely to show off the self-indulgent bliss of our brief jaunt to the Brecon Beacons. And the throwaway comment about the universe’s capacity for dumping excrement on one’s world was because I’m a cynical old aardvark. At the time of typing, all was well on the distant and weird Planet Twisted, even though we’ve got the builders in and I’m way behind on food-growing activities in the garden.
I’m illustrating this post mostly with garden shenanigans, because such things have occupied a sizeable chunk of my attention lately.
Unfortunately that blog post gave the universe ideas, because I developed an irritating case of covid a few days later. It was nothing too severe (thank you vaccine) other than the exhaustion that welded me to the sofa for most of a week. Seriously people, who turned gravity up? You’d think I’d have got lots of knitting done, right? Wrong. Yeah, I was that knackered. Those knitting needles are heavy.
Thank goodness the covid has gone, but it seems to have stolen my physical fitness as it left, like a badly-behaved house-guest who spitefully pockets the family silver whilst they’re being evicted. The other day was my first post-viral run and… ouch. I use the word ‘run’ loosely, because I had to give up and walk anything that could loosely be described as uphill… or even not-downhill. Next time will be better. If I don’t run enough, my energy levels reduce to nearly zero and all sorts of nasty perimenopausal symptoms begin poking me rudely in the everything, so I need to run, much as I’d prefer to spend my time sprawled across a chaise longue, idly nibbling fruit. Also, I enjoy consuming all the food and wine, and I need to burn that junk off somehow.
But if this ‘run’ wasn’t already unpleasant enough, it began hammering down with rain when I was about a mile from home. I don’t mind running in rain – it can be pleasantly refreshing – but this was the kind of downpour that makes you crave windscreen wipers for your own eyeballs. And then I noticed a car approaching, flashing its lights aggressively. Yeah, yeah, yeah, rude driver, haven’t you ever seen a soggy middle-aged woman flobbling along in Lycra before? This is why I like running on secluded trails rather than on roads. No doubt, impertinent car-wielder, you’ll think it hilarious to speed through this puddle beside me, but what you don’t realize is that it’s impossible to get any wetter than saturated so I really don’t care. You’ll probably shout something offensive out of your car window too, but thanks to the Doppler effect I can never decipher car-yellers’ words anyway (is that just me?) so I’ll remain blissfully unaware of the specific content of your contempt. Meh. Whatever.
Reader, it took an embarrassingly long time for me to realize that the driver was in fact the Stoic Spouse, and that he (and the twinnage) had come to rescue me from this deluge. They didn’t even yell obscenities – well none that I heard, anyway.
A small part of me thought, ABSOLUTELY NOT! I Shall Finish My Run Properly And Complete My Miles; I Do Not Require Rescuing. How Very Dare You Underestimate Me, Husbandface, Because I Am Tough And Resilient And Not Even Slightly Water-Soluble? But the rest of me punched that part squarely in the proverbials and squelched into the car. Thanks mate, I owe you one. Sorry I dripped all over your passenger seat.
Yes yes, I haven’t forgotten that this is a yarn-related blog. Having submitted my stranded cardigan design to Novita, I’ve now seen the photoshoot pictures, and I’m slightly-more-than-very excited to see the published result in a few weeks’ time. Sorry that I can’t show you these pictures yet, but the time will come. And in the ludicrously implausible event that you’re non-fluent in Finnish, they’ve generously said that I can publish the pattern in English on my own site three months after their version appears. Did I mention that the Novita staff are awesome folk? It’s been an absolute joy to work with this yarn company and their yarns, and I’m quietly happy with how the cardigan turned out. No, scrub that, I’m not quiet about it at all. I’m NOISILY jubilant about this pattern, and I hope you’ll like it too once it’s published.
The second design that they’ve commissioned is a stranded dress, and I’ve been busy crunching the final sets of numbers that require crunching. Crunch, crunch, crunch. It’s – dare-I-jinx-it – going well. (Oh dear, I’ve definitely jinxed it now.) My friends, there will be pictures. Soon. I’m enjoying the contrast between the two designs. The cardigan was bottom-up, multi-steeked, and complex. The dress is a yoked top-down affair, with zero steeks or seams. The combination of the two has exercised my design muscles, so even though my physical fitness is sub-par right now, my yarn-designing and pattern-grading muscles are ripped. Yikes, this level of hubristic arrogance can only be followed by truly spectacular failure, right? Oh well, my downfall will at least be good for a few anecdotes on here, I guess. I’ll try to accept my humbling with grace. And wine… mostly wine.