Morning all. Right, before we go any further, a quick announcement. I’ve just made all of my patterns free (using the code ANTIVIRAL at the checkout) because it doesn’t feel right to take money whilst people are losing their livelihoods. You can find the patterns here. Most of my designs were free anyway, but for now, they all are.
Anyway, to the subject of today’s post. I don’t usually discuss psychology stuff on here, because I like to keep this blog very separate from the day job, but I think that today might be the time to make an exception. There’s no getting away from the subject that’s on everyone’s minds right now: this pesky little virus that’s trampling all over everyone’s lives. So tiny, yet so RUDE!
So with my psychologist hat on (an extravagantly purple affair with orange sparkly feathers atop, in case you’re curious), may I humbly share some tips for surviving emotionally in these crazy times. The advice here is aimed at those of you who are stuck at home rather more than you’d prefer. Of course, you’re at an immediate advantage by virtue of the fact that you knit/crochet. That means you rarely face the problem, How am I going to fill this time?
There’s no getting away from the fact that we’re living in scary times. The frequency of use of the word ‘unprecedented’ is, quite frankly, unprecedented. It’s natural to feel anxious. You’re anxious. I’m anxious. Even my computer seems to be running its antiviral software more often than usual. But the risk is that unchecked worrying could lead to full-on depression/anxiety, and that is, by its very definition, NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY FUN. So here are a few things to consider whilst you’re stuck at home watching the world go bonkers.
- Goals. We all need ambitions. We need to feel that we’re travelling somewhere, even whilst we’re stuck at home with an uncertain employment situation and swarms of children who seem to think we’re their parent. But think: despite the constraints you’re facing, is there something that your time and isolation enables you to do that would normally be impossible? Learn the ukulele or the harmonica (via YouTube videos)? Start growing vegetables? Work towards doing 50 push-ups per day? Paint the kitchen? Master vegan baking? Meditate? Learn to speak Portuguese? Doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it’s an enticing challenge for you. Ideally, set a very specific goal, so “I’m going to make a 3-d crocheted model of the Taj Mahal in lace-weight yarn” is better than “Yeah, I’ll probably do some crochet”. The more you’re focused on your crazy, hare-brained goal, the less you’ll be focused on the other things you can’t do right now. It’s better for this to be ‘the year you invented Cuban-Icelandic fusion food’ than ‘the year when you couldn’t go to choir’. Of course these goals could be for you alone or for your whole family together.
- Pleasure versus mastery. We all need a balance in our lives between things that are fun (pleasure) and things that challenge us (mastery) – not that the two are mutually exclusive. Yes you could sit on the sofa all day in your PJs watching films… and that might give you high scores for ‘pleasure’ for a little while, but it doesn’t involve much effort (mastery), and so you’ll likely find that your mood and motivation begin to dip. At the other extreme, you could use this time to singlehandedly re-tile the roof, which whilst extremely difficult (mastery) yields pretty much zero pleasure, if only because it’s cold, and the relentless rain is getting into your underwear. Neither of those scenarios is ideal: instead, I’d advise a balance between periods of TV-indulgence and periods of soggy-underweared-roof-re-tiling. We really do need both.
- Get real. The internet is great. Far be it from me to say otherwise. BUT, try and do some things that are – for want of a better word – real. Bake a cake, grow some vegetables, feed the birds, cuddle the cat, play the piano. Why? These activities engage most of your senses. (I said ‘most’ – please do not lick your cat.) At a time of high anxiety, tasks like these are grounding. They bring you – quite literally in the case of gardening – back down to earth from that horrible sky-high cloud of fear that you risk visiting. And activities like these can mostly carry on as normal – they’re a reminder that not everything has gone crazy. Also, constructive activities like growing vegetables provide the reassuring sense of doing something useful. A great deal of what most of us are facing is about stopping things or avoiding things – it’s good to feel that you’re doing something positive to prepare, such as growing a whole heap of tasty potatoes that’ll keep you going for the next few months.
- The basics. At times of weirdness, it’s easy to forget the basic things that help to keep us healthy and emotionally sorted: sleep, exercise, fresh food, water, time outdoors. Please try not to neglect these, because your immune system and your emotional health could take a hit if you do.
I hope that helps, and I hope that you and yours are doing OK. Normal yarny service will be resumed forthwith.
One last thing. May I ask a small favour please? It’s my mum’s (Mother Twisted) birthday this week, and it’s fair to say that isolation at home staring at the walls with Father Twisted wasn’t quite her idea of celebration so if you’ve a moment to spare, please could you wish her a happy birthday in the comments? Thank you – your kindness is appreciated. She will probably murder me for directing attention her way, but I shall die happy.
Stay healthy, people. And carry on knitting/hooking.
Hope your mum has a very happy birthday! Thank you for the patterns, I had most of them in my library but snagged a couple more. If anything it also reminded me of all the things I want to make! Stay safe!
Thank you, what beautiful words, advice so eloquently put. I will pop over and look at your patterns and for making them free, I ‘Thank’ you! Many happy returns to your mother xxx
Greetings and a huge thank you for reaching out ????. Wishing your Twisted Momma a terrific birthday … all the way from Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia, Canada
Happy Birthday, Mother Twisted! Alas, undoubtably not the riotous debauchery you had planned for the day. But we’ll get to that! Enjoy!
And thank you, Phil and Robyn, for having your heads straight. On this side of the pond, things are a little odd and we need voices of sanity, even if, or especially when, the words of wisdom are spoken with mouths full of meal worms.
Happy birthday to your mother!
Happy birthday Mother Twisted from Australia. No doubt a birthday you will not forget in a hurry.
Happy Birthday, Mother Twisted! Just discovered your blog courtesy of Google. Thank you for free patterns. As life has just got even weirder, and we all appear to living some kind of apocalyptic movie, we all need a knitting and crochet project xxx Also, love Robyn the robin
Your post brought a smile to my day. Happy Birthday Mother Twisted. Another from Australia who found the blog from Google. I’m off to explore now.
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted!
I’m a day late to the party but please wish your Mum a belated Happy Birthday from South Yorkshire, England. Everyone needs to stick together in these troubled and scary times no matter where in the world we are. So remember to open your curtains in the morning look out on the day and no matter the weather smile because well you can. Stay safe, keep smiling.
Ditto the late in the day! Happy belated birthday to Mother Twisted. Hope you managed to sit in a garden (distanced of course) and enjoy the sunshine. Thank you for the advice it is really helpful and delivered in your wise but comical way. I will pass it on. Best wishes Moke x
Happy Birthday to Mother Twisted! Best wishes for a healthy and happy year!
Thanks for all of the good advice! Time to get motivated.
Happy Birthday, Mother Twisted! You and I are so lucky to have icving and creative daughters. Can’t wait when we can hug them again.
For those who can’t physically hug – my BFF and I have done this* since early 90’s as she’s in USA and I’m in Kent. Use phone or computer to see each other – important thing is to do it together.
* secure phone between shoulder and ear if using. Person A instructs, wrap right arm diagonally across your body. Wrap left arm diagonally across right …..squeeze = you just shared a hug. (We call it `phone hugging’ as that’s all we had when we started).
Thanks to Winick Mum for sending me here, thanks to you and Robyn for superb advice. I’m wheelchair bound with autoimmune issues so facing start of week 3 in isolation (no family, widowed for second time Feb 2019) so I’m planning a holiday next year with a friend who’s even more disabled than I am.
As my wheelchair goes 1 foot up in the air I’m going to wallpaper the entrance to my bungalow.
Many thanks for free patterns, I’ll reduce my wool stash and when I can get out again I’ll have things to give to the homeless people in my area who I support and am desperately concerned about, at this time.
PS. Happy Belated Birthday Twisted Mum
Happy birthday, Mother Twisted!
And thanks to your daughter for a lovely and inspiring post.
Happy birthday Mother Twisted!
Thank you so much for this positive message. I loved the pics and captions. Happy Birthday to Mother Twisted!
Happy birthday to Mother Twisted!
Thank you for the sane and balanced look at how to handle this crisis. There’s too much of the other end of the spectrum out there. And I love the pictures of Robyn and the bee!
Happy belated birthday to Mother Twisted!
Happy Birthday to your mom. And thank you for uplifting words. And the lovely photos of Robyn.
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted from Arkansas USA. Hope you have a beautiful one. Thanks to your daughter for her wise advice. Love Robyn the Robin. Found her her blog through Google will continue to follow. Love the patterns thanks I a new crochet. M
That bird is so adorable! And a happy birthday to Mother Twisted! ????
I’m wishing Mother Twisted a fabulous birthday for 2020. May you have a healthy and safe year.
Happy birthday Mother Twisted!!! ,today is my birthday too. Argentina is in full lockdown so I spent the day with my boys an husband very happy. We ate chocolate cake!!! Beso desde Buenos Aires.
Thank you for your wise words. I have a friend I just read this to, he had to go through several surgeries, and I have not been able to get him motivated. It has been a big blow to everything he used to do.
Tell Mum, Texas says hello and Happy Birthday! Just think what the party will be like once everyone is able to socialize again and rock on.
Happy Birthday Twisted Momma from New Jersey USA!! Thank you for the mental health hints. We are making masks for the hospital workers here. It helps to have something to do to help, and not feel so powerless. I’m a news junkie and I had to stop watching. That has helped. My adult kids call it Momma’s Happy Bubble.
Happy birthday Mother Twisted! Hope your day is lovely! ???? xxx
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted.
Thanks too for the uplifting words which I shall share with my staff who are all locked up at home as well.
Keeping our chins up and remembering to use this time to stop and smell the roses is a challenge for most people in this hectic world we call normality.
May we all learn to be kind to each other and take care of ourselves and our loved ones and we will weather this storm and see the sunshine on the other side of it.
Thank you a glimpse of Robyn, so intent on her mealworms. And for the reminder to re-connect to that which is real and concrete. We tried to catch a bit of the sunlight here in Virginia, walking the dog this afternoon…got mostly clouds with a couple patches of blue. And a fair bit ‘o mud to boot, ugh.
Happy birthday to your mom! I hope she gets a more proper celebration when it is safer to be out!
Thank you for your reassuring words and your petite robin photo. I used to have a little robin visit my grapevine each year. Happy Birthday Mother Twisted and best wishes.
Happy birthday Mother Twisted. Thank you for this post. It really helped me this morning. Stay safe every one and keep up with your crafting. Xx
What an amazing post Phil (& Robyn!), thank you so much! Also very best wishes for a happy birthday for Ma twisted!
Happy birthday to your Mum! I am sending the Christmas tree pattern to my stepmum as she loves to knit and could do with another project, having just knitted 100 Easter chicks for charity. Imagine how many trees she could make if she starts now …
Wishing You A Happy Birthday Ma Twisted! And Many Happy Returns! You can just postpone your celebration until we get the ‘All clear’!????????????????
Thank you for making all your patterns free it’s a very community minded thing to do at a time like this.☕????????????????
Lovely post Phil and many happy returns to Mother Twisted. You do realise that I am now fully expecting a 3D crochet model of the Taj Mahal to be featuring on this blog soon now though? If anyone can.., ????
Sandra x
Happy Birthday Twisted Mom, from Oklahoma, USA.
I fear I may be late to the party? I have only just found you. Penblwydd Hapus to your mum from Wales and thanks for the patterns x
Thanks Phil, I love the blog and your column in the magazine — it’s nice to have something different to read
Happy Birthday Phil’s mum and I’m wishing you all a great and beautiful day for everyone — just stay safe and well xxxx ???? ???? ???? ????
Belated Happy Birthday to Mother Twisted from Dubai.
This was the blog I needed to read today, so thank you.
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted from Somerset. By the way Phil have you considered that Robyn might be a Mr and not a Mrs?
I loved this post, thank you! Full of common sense, wise words and gorgeous Robyn-the-robin photos – what more could you ask for?! Happy Birthday to your Mum – and many happy returns xx
Belated Birthday Wishes to Twisted Mother from the middle of Canada (between east to west that is..). I hope it was a great birthday! Thank you to Twisted Daughter for the great blog. I think I’m going to sign up for it. ????
Happy knitting and crocheting and stay well all
Happy birthday to your mom from France, Joyeux Anniversaire????
Happy birthday to your Mum x I liked your tips for not going crazy! So many people I speak to have tipped over the edge with their anxiety lately. I will share your wise words x
Hi Phil & Happy Birthday “Twisted Mom”, just found you via Winwick Mum. Will look at your patterns so thanks in advance. I have a pair of robins that come to my little enclosed back garden and I love them, so much smaller than the ones we had in Canada. Stay safe everyone & keep crafting.
From a Canadian gal living in South Wales xx
Happy birthday to your mother, right from the southern part of Holland. My mother is in a home, we cannot visit her at the moment… hope this virus clears up soon. Love from Lily
Thank you so much for this! It made me smile, and has given me some ideas for goals to set.
Happy Birthday to your mum!
Belated happy birthday Mother Twisted.
Thank you so much for the good advice. Have recommended family read your blog too. In lockdown on own but have a huge yarn stash to help keep sane and regular photos of new granddaughter “Robyn”
Look forward to your book.
Happy happy birthday Mother Twisted! Hope you have a fabulous day!!
I’m spite of the fact that I have been isolating at home for two weeks like a good girl I am going to my the co-op today. I am going to sit in my parents (they are in their eighties) back yard and visit thru the door. I am missing them terribly but am going to maintain the six foot distance. It would be so much fun to have a hot game of Canasta but I will be thrilled just to visit and talk face to face.
Hope you have a Pleasant day!
Just found your blog thanks to Winwick mum. A lovely read and good advice. Happy Birthday to your mum.
I must remember to thank Christine (winwick mum) for directing me to your blog ,love your post , thanking for sharing with us part if you and your life’s, love your Robin, many year ago when our children were little we had one too.
Hope that you mum has a wonderful birthday ,
Hugs xxx
Maybe a little late, but Happy Birthday “Twisted Mum” from Switzerland
I, too, came here from Christine of Winwick mom. Your advice is so good and calming in today’s world.
Happy Birthday to your Mom from the United States.
Aloha,
Hope your mum has the best birthday ever! She has a filial daughter who also is very talented (luv the Robin!).
Hugs to your mum (mine has since passed).
Mahalo.