Right, people, lets get straight down to business. I have a new pattern out, in what risks becoming an extensive range of Covid-related knitted/crocheted accessories, thanks to those of you who will insist on suggesting additional products. Please nobody request a laceweight Covidy blanket, because I’m weak-willed in the face of such challenges.
The new pattern is available via Ravelry, HERE. But read on, to see how you can get a small discount.
We’ve already had the knitted Covid Cowl. There’s a little mistake in rounds 36 and 38, kindly pointed out by the very cool and photographically talented @soozjewels on Instagram. (She’s worth a follow.) For both of those rounds, the first two stitches should be pink, not yellow. And today, I published a crocheted Covid hat. There’s a knitted Covid hat half written-up too, coming soon, but I thought I should offer something for the hookers.
The Crocheted Covid Hat is worked in the round using tapestry crochet, with some post-crochet embroidery to accentuate the thingummies (technical term) on the Covids with orange. The pattern for a splendid little crocheted Covid topper for the hat is included, as are suggestions for a pompom in case you don’t want to walk around with a comedy stuffed virus atop your bonce.
There is a charge for the pattern of £2.99 or equivalent, because luxurious tropical islands with accompanying diamond-encrusted superyachts don’t buy themselves, y’know? But you can get a 20% discount until 20th March 2021 by entering the code BADCOVID at the checkout. And if life is financially beating you about the head with a wet kipper right now, then please email me at thetwistedyarn@outlook.com, and I’ll send you the pattern for free, because my attempts to become a ruthless capitalist are not going very well. Click HERE to buy via Ravelry.
Phew, that’s the heavy business stuff done. Lets fling aside our stuffy formal attire, put our feet up on the coffee table, chuck another log on the fire, and relax. I hope you have yarn and something to drink?
(Just for the record, I don’t really want a tropical island or a yacht. And if by luck I ever become a gazillionaire, I’ll follow Isabella Tree’s example described in her book, Wilding, and buy lots and lots of land to rewild with the help of native species. Seriously, you need this book in your life – it’s fascinating and heartening. Unlike peasants such as me, she didn’t need to buy the land, but what she and her husband did with it is inspiring. For those of us whose parents cruelly failed to bequeath a vast estate with on-site castle, may I also recommend the more pragmatic The Garden Jungle by Dave Goulson. By the way, this here rogue paragraph might be a tad off-topic, but I’ve been trying to work these recommendations into a blog post ever since I finished reading both books which, given that this is a yarn-related blog, is no mean feat.)
Anyway.
Whilst I’m loathe to do the whole ‘Sorry I haven’t blogged for ages’ thing, I’m, erm, um, err, sorry I haven’t blogged for ages. The cancer treatment is largely done, so I’ve returned to my day job (psychologist) and… it’s hard. The cognitive function, the energy, they’re not there yet. My coping-with-everything strategy (aka running) is helping a bit, but even running is much tougher and slower than usual. So it’s taken several weeks to write up this one blog post and pattern. Big oops. (It’s taken me even longer than that to get to the bottom of the dreaded laundry basket, which does at least tell you something about my priorities in life. But today, I finally reached the bottom of the basket, and I can tell you that it is a strange and slightly malodorous place. Not sure I want to visit it again any time soon.)
As I said, the silly little cancer problem is mostly sorted, other than ten years of hormone drugs. (I’m bitter about that, because my mum – Mother Twisted – was only sentenced to FIVE years of the same drug for the same offence cancer. ???? ) And I’ll need reconstruction surgery at some point because right now, one breast is way bigger than the other, so I risk listing to the left and running around in little circles when attempting to navigate a straight line. But that’s not urgent, so I can wait, and I’ll shove a couple of rocks in my bra to even things up in the meantime, because I’m nothing if not resourceful in the midst of a pandemic.
And whilst I’ll always miss Robyn-the-robin, I’m enjoying being bossed about by her gender-arbitrarily-decided son, whom a follower on my Instagram account cleverly named Robinson. He hasn’t fed from my hand yet, but he’s quite happy to yell at me until I refill the mealworm feeder.
More importantly, I hope you’re OK. I hope that your family is safe. If you have young sproglodytes, I hope that you’re doing better with home-schooling than we are. (The Stoic Spouse and I both count as ‘key-workers’, so we do at least get to send the twinnage to school on my two work days each week.) It’s hard, though. The twinnage miss their grandparents. The grandparents miss the twinnage. The twinnage have too much screen time. But I know, I know, it’s the same up and down the country and across the world. One day, all this will be in the past.
Stay safe and fine and fibrous, my Fine Fibrous Friends.
Phil x
Another delightful distraction on groundhog Sunday.
Glad Robinson (genius!) is keeping you on your toes. Once all the cancer fallout and Covid nonsense is over , would you consider a physical collection of your blog posts and photographs?
Thanks for your positivity, be patient with yourself.
Take care xx
Thank you Jacqui. Groundhog Sunday is right. *sigh*
As for your suggestion, I do have a 3-volume print-out of my blog up to approximately 18 months ago. The photos are small, though, because this thing takes up SO many pages. I really should learn to be less verbose!
You take care too in these bonkers times. Px
As always, your upbeat but never saccharine approach to adversities (can that be plural?) as well as the pleasures of life fills me with admiration and puts a smile on my face. Glad your intrusive/invasive treatment is over and thank you for another pitch perfect post.
And thank you for the kindness in your response. Am taking it as a big compliment because like you, I’m not a fan of saccharine.
I love your crochet colourwork. I have tried and tried but don’t get the defintion in the colour changes. I’m left-handed but i’m not convinced that’s the problem. Do you have any tips?
Love your blog.
I’m left handed too, and since we go the other way around it’s sometimes necessary to read the pattern mirror wise. I finally figured that out when doing a shawl recently. Good luck with your project.
Thank you both. Samantha, do you mean that the different colours don’t show up well enough on the chart?
So good to hear from you. Loving your COVID creations. 10 yrs of hormones? How wretched. ????
Robinson is a doll. I am watching a very large mama cardinal at my feeder. I asked her if she would be willing to set up her domicile in my tree. We’ll see. Stay well, friend! xoxo Regina
Oh I hope so much that she stays long-term in your tree! She should realize that she’s on to a good thing with free food on tap.
Oh, yes. I keep my birds well fed and hydrated.
What a joy to find this lovely post in my inbox this morning along with all the bad news! Thank you for continuing to share your positive attitude as well as your charming photos and beautiful designs. And even reading suggestions this time!
And thank you for taking the trouble so share such kind words. I couldn’t help the reading recommendations – I hope they haven’t annoyed anyone! But I might be a tad evangelical on this subject…
That hat is seriously amazing. And I love the name Robinson. How clever is that. Lots of love from me and my neighbour. XX
And lots of love to both you and S, too.
Gosh you’ve been *busy*! Lovely post with loads of useful info and an update on your progress which is good to hear (but for the 10 yes of tablets). As above, Robinson is an inspired name! And what a bright little fluff bundle he is!
Stay well Phil and take it easy!
Fluff-bundle is right – that’s the perfect description! That photo was taken on a snowy day, so I guess he could be forgiven for fluffing himself up a bit… and screaming at me until I fed him his fourteenth breakfast. You stay well too. Px
What an enjoyable read, as always. Your colour work is fantastic (as always). Thank you for the book recommendations, they sound right up my alley (or garden path?)!
I’m sorry for your difficult recovery, but your great attitude must count for something, I hope! How about you suggest the twinage do the laundry? Ha ha, I know, more work than doing it yourself!
As for covid restrictions, just for a point of contrast, I’m from Vancouver Island in Canada, and here, while the virus is present, it hasn’t altered my life a lot. I’m a grandmother who still sees my grandkids. Two of them are part of my “bubble” as I babysit them regularly, and the other two, I see when I can (I’m oldish, but not high-risk). All my grandkids who are school age are able to go to school. All my kids are still working in their regular jobs. One daughter is an RN in a “recovery care” facility and though they have to do extra checks and extra precautions everyday, all is well there still.
I hope, this gives you a sense of hope (rather than envy). Canada in general, though some places are more affected than others is moving as usual. I hope the same for the rest of the world soon.
Glad you have some brightness at the end of your garden in the form of a demanding little Robinson.
Take care, be patient, take time, and thank you so very much for such enjoyable and informative reads!
Kathy
Thank you Kathy. I’m glad that you’re not separated from your grandchildren. My parents and I have had the first dose of the vaccine, so I’m optimistic that we’re heading towards safer times. Fortunately my boys (aged ten) are old enough to understand that their grandparents haven’t deliberately abandoned them!
Clever hat design but I am afraid I want to forget all about Covid as soon as possible! Glad the worst of your treatment is over. Recovery from chemo is slow but you’ll get there eventually. Just don’t overdo it in the meantime. At least you have the robin as a distraction.
I quite understand that this hat isn’t for everyone! Completely understand that you don’t want a permanent reminder of covid on your head! (And thank you for your kindness.)
That hat is magnificient, the COVID bobble hilarious. Thanks for the link, love her work. It will take awhile, dear, as it’s not for the faint of heart to recover from surgery, and radiation therapy. Have you found the knitting pattern for soft boobies to fill that bra? Makes running less circular. Plus, stones makes so much sound when shaked by running. Robinson has the sound of his mom I hear. In time he will take it out of your hand. And oh my, 10 years. Be assured, it can be longer. I am at my 17th year now. Blech. But oke. Hugs you sweet lady.
Yikes, 17 years?! That’s… lengthy. OK, I should shut up about my mere decade. But thank you, for all of your kind words. I’m not really going to stuff my bra because if anyone notices – I don’t care!
The link to Ravelry under the third photo doesn’t take me to Ravelry. I used your first link under the first photo and it doesn’t accept the discount code. Hmmmm.
Your English robins are much prettier than our California robins. I’m glad Robinson is carrying on his mother’s habits.
Keep your pecker up!
Oh! Apologies! That’s very strange. Going to investigate now….
All fixed. Thanks for letting me know.
I love your blog! We have chickadees that eat sunflower seeds from our hands. One day when I looked out the window, my husband was standing on the deck with his arms out and numerous chickadees perched on his arms and standing on his head. I wish I’d gotten a picture of that. One request…could you make your text darker? With my eyeballs aging a little bit every day, I find the gray hard to read. Thx!
Oh, that’s adorable! Such a pity that you couldn’t get a picture. I don’t suppose the moment was ever repeated?
And thanks for your request. I will investigate, when I write my next post, and see whether I can change the text colour to something blacker. Apologies for causing more eye-strain than needed. Being technologically clueless, I use the default settings, but I certainly don’t want to cause readers more hassle than needed.
Thank you for another great pattern. Your self-deprecating sense of humour is always a joy to read. Hugs xx
And your kind comments are always a joy to read too, oh long-term reader! 🙂
Thank you for noticing. I thought your fame and gajillions of comments would mean that it would be hard to keep up with particular followers. But yes, I’m still here. xx
Ha ha, yeah I’m so famous I can scarcely walk down the street any more! Or… not. Of course I recognise you when you visit and remember that you’ve (kindly) been here for a l-o-n-g time.
You’re a genius (as usual). The Covid crochet hat is amazing! I don’t know how you manage to put together so many different colours and make them look so LOVELY. Really.
So glad to read a new post from you. Hope you will regain your strenght soon.
Take care.
Thank you Laura, even if I DEFINITELY don’t deserve such high praise! But thank you anyway.
I love you. That’s all I can say.
I don’t deserve it but as always, thank you.
Your ray of sunshine penetrates our closed life here in the MO, USA. Please take care and mend soon.
Thank you. And life here is pretty closed, too, if that’s any small consolation. Please stay safe.
Hi Phil, Robinson (love the name!) is a handsome little man. I also love your COVID hat. Sheer genius!
I lost all of my internal ‘girl bits’ to endometrial cancer, so our situations are somewhat dissimilar. I was wondering however, if you had thought about making yourself some “knitted knockers”? They could, I think, help you with that “listing to the left” problem. : ) Granted, I have no direct experience with them, but they seem to be popular with women who’ve battled breast cancer, and are in high demand on this side of the pond.
I’m sending much love, and many hugs to you. Be safe, and take care.
Knitted Knockers organization & pattern: http://knittedknockersusa.org/
Thank you both. I appreciate your kindness and suggestions. I’m tempted to carry on slightly unevenly for now, and if anyone notices or is bothered, then it’s not my problem. But very seriously, thank you.
dear phil,
i’m always glad to hear from you.
i’m delighted by your relationship to the natural world (robins) and also by your humorous attitude in the face of cancer (adding rocks to your bra).
thank you for sharing … it is so meaningful to me!
best regards and prayers for your continued recovery…
daisy (margaret lerner)
Thank you Margaret, for such kindness. I can’t help feeling wonder and excitement at the natural world, so it’s a pleasure and an honour when people here tolerate my obsession!
With best wishes to you. px
So good to hear from you! I may have missed a post or two. I’m feeling a tad invincible these days (as an old lady), I’ve had my covid vaccine. Well, dear i will continue to keep you close to heart & in my prayers.
May your lovely family stay happy & safe.
Linda
Congratulations on having your vaccine! I hope that your life can begin to head in a slightly more normal direction from this point onwards. Stay safe any yarny, Px.
Such an uplifting read today! I loved hearing about all of your and Robinson’s escapades. It has put me in a Reasonable CoVid avoiding mood. (Read further) I am just off to the grocery (it’s tiny, has basic things, hardly anyone in it, ever) where I always want to announce, “I AM HERE! EVERY CUSTOMER, STAND AT THE DOOR WAY UNTIL I AM FINISHED SHOPPING AND CHECKED OUT. DO NOT BREATHE…EVEN IF YOU ARE WEARING 2 N95 MASKS! GOT IT?” And now, I go forth!
Ha ha, I LIKE your style! i hope you survived the grocery-buying experience. Px
Thank you for the update and your twisted take on life that is almost returning to normal. Home school hassles, work hassles, pattern hassles, laundry that won’t do itself, bras that don’t fit, running in circles, yup sounds normal to me. Be safe and thank you for your covid patterns. Teresa in Michigan USA
What, you mean I’m normal?? That’s DEFINITELY a first! Anyway, we may be separated by an ocean, but I hope that you’re safe too and surviving these crazy times.
Great blog as usual! Pleased to hear you are recovering well. I love your hat pattern and will try to make it I’m not the greatest crocheter! Keep safe everyone from N.Z. I’m a nurse and waiting to come over to work hopefully Xmas so I can see my son in London.
Thank you. It must be so hard being separated from loved ones. I hope that you can soon safely visit your son. Thank you also for everything that you do as a nurse.
Thank you for such a joy-filled read. I can’t offer advice on most of the things you are dealing with, but I see that others have given some good suggestions.
I just want to say that I think we should all begin harassing NASA or some similar agency for affordable robots that do household chores like laundry and bathroom cleaning. Really, NASA, this is important!!! You just put a robot on MARS (again), this time with it’s own little drone! A robot on a robot, a million miles away, and we women still have to do laundry, even when dealing with pandemics, jobs, family, school, illness, and who knows what else is coming next!
We NEED laundry robots.
Thank you for letting me vent. I feel calmer now, but still insist that we NEED laundry robots. So there!
YES to the laundry robots! As well as washing-up robots, cooking robots (which my sons tell me already exist), admin-doing robots. ALL THE ROBOTS!
SUCH pleasure to read you again, you ridiculous woman ! 🙂
So all this is your revered mama’s fault, eh ? Tell her I wag a stern finger at her and ask “Why was it THIS you decided to pass on to Philippa ?!”
I didn’t know you crochet ! – but can say without a word of a lie that your crochet is as gasp-making as your knitting. You make me swoon with jealous rage. I regard your – erhmmm – double crochet stitches (phew ! just remembered in time about UK terminology !) with awe: never have I seen such beauty in my favourite stitch.
You’re a genuinely creative person: I hope you enjoy that fact. 😀
Robinson is fat. That’s fine: I’m scarcely one to criticize rotundity.
Your strength will return. Eventually. The more you move about the better, yes ? Maybe you should be doing your consulting on a treadmill .. [grin]
As always, thank you. Seriously, thank you for every single part of this. I hardly know where to begin replying! I’m not sure that Robinson is fat, despite all the mealworms – that photo was taken in the snow, so he’d probably just puffed himself up to keep warm. I’m sure he’d tell you that he’s a poor starving beast and that I should feed him more…
Just yesterday I was thinking of you, wondering how you are, and presto chang-o, here you are. Perhaps I should think of quantities of land with a castle, and presto chang-o …. nothing! I’m so happy Robinson is still yelling at you for his gourmet supper. Would you please capture him on a little video for IG so we can hear and laugh?! Stay well, Phil, continue to build your strength, and if energy fails at least hold the needles and breathe!!
Thanks Heather, I will try to capture a video, but he’s a tricky little blighter. Also, I’m impressed at your summoning spell ability! Now I know what strange force compelled me to write a blog post the other day…
Oh my goodness!!! A crochet pattern! One for a hooker like meeeeee! I no longer have to stare at your beautiful knitted magic things in awe and wonder- I can join in!!! Very exciting, thank you! Pleased that you are doing well, and that Robinson is well too x
Apologies for the serious knit-bias in this blog in general. I do hook too, honest!
Was thinking about you yesterday and wondering how things were going. You must have been sending out psychic messages in advance of today’s publication. Glad to read that though somewhat challenging, you’re out there running and back to work. Thank you ever so much for the new pattern! I’m admittedly an Intermediate+ crocheter and struggled for years trying to teach myself to knit, until I discovered Continental. Soooo, I’m in knitting catch-up mode. Due to my nursing and physician education background, I’m considering the amendment of your pattern, if that meets with your approval. My goal would be to remove the virus and simply carry forward your design per row. (I’ve always had a great interest in microbiology and could not wear a beanie/hat as a perpetual reminder of not only a harbinger of death to some and what seems almost never-ending lockdown, but of political strife here in the US. It has been rather dreadful, to say the least.) Loving all of your photographic genius still at work. You are blessed to live where you do, having the most wonderful “life” just outside your back door for inspiration. Long live Robinson!
I scarcely know where to begin, to reply to all this loveliness! Completely understand that – as a clinician – you do not want a reminder of the hideous death-causer on top of your hat. Totally, totally, understand that. And yup, Robinson is cool – long live Robinson!
I really enjoy your creative yarn posts peppered with your humerous comments they really brighten things up. You are so talented. I am amazed at how honest you have been in relating your cancer journey. My younger sister is on the same path as you but some months behind. I have read your comments about your odd sized breasts and wondered whether you have been told about KnittedbKnockers Uk? They make knitted boobs in different sizes and swimming Ones too. patterns for making your own are available on Ravelry and the organisations website. I hope this may be of help to you and wish you continued good health.
Thank you so much, Margaret. And I’m sorry to hear that your sister is on the same journey. I hope that she’s getting the best possible treatment. (They’re so much better at treating breast cancer than used to be the case.) Wishing her health and hope and happiness. And yes, I’ve heard of KnittedKnockers, but I’m too arrogant to use them because if anyone has an issue with my lopsided mammary glands, then I shall give them my MOST FIERCE AND GRUMPY STARE!
Love your posts and I second the book collection. Seriously brighten my day and hope yours get brighter every day
Thank you. Seriously, thank you.
I’m a bit late to the comment party. :-} No internet service for a while so I cleaned out the basement closet where the internet wiring comes up into the main floor (I have ethernet since I live in a no service wifi location…). I’m astonished by what was in the closet. I shouldn’t be since I’ve been cramming things in there for a long while and never taking anything out, lol! I guess it was time. :-}
I’m glad to hear that all the main stuff is over with your treatments. I hope you don’t have difficulties swallowing tablets. I would prefer they make them all into those slidey capsule things.
I was impressed by your preferred plan of wilding should you get filthy rich. I would do the same. Thank you for fitting in the book recommendations – I’m going off to check them out right after this. You might enjoy reading some of Stephen Harrod Buhler’s books. He also strongly recommends a reconnection with wild nature starting in childhood. He has some interesting ideas and perspectives and if you’re a wilding convert, can probably skip the sections that discuss what we are currently doing.
Like the crochet hat – I’m also a hooker and it’s definitely tempting me. 🙂
Best wishes for the best health ever,
Hugs
Debbie
from the Canadian prairies where there is no wifi service in places.(I hope this makes the big telecom companies feel guilty) ….
Thank you Debbie. I’ve just been Googling SHB’s books and am intrigued – thank you for the recommendation. And here’s to rewilding together, once the winning lottery tickets land in both our laps!
So nice to read your post even if I’m a week late to the party (note to self – check notification settings on WordPress to find out why I’ve been kept in the dark for so long). As a uni boober for 5 years now I’ve found very few people seem to notice I’m lopsided, oh vanity to think they actually look at my boobs, and now with Covid and cancer treatment again I don’t go out and see strangers except at the hospital so it’s no longer an issue. But having said that I do have a floob, the knitted knockers are too light, and ride up so I end up with one boob under my chin and one where it should be. A small weight tucked in helps I’m told but… The NHS floob though if fitted properly works better. I only wear it if I’m dressing up, so only very occasionally (OK I admit never at the moment) but it’s OK. I presume your hospital have offered you one? If not ask your breast care nurse. As for reconstruction that’s such a personal choice I just didn’t want to go through more surgery. It took me about a year to feel totally comfortable with my lopsided shape but I’m glad now I didn’t have reconstruction, somehow the thought of alien material in my body for no good reason feels wrong and I know it would never look or feel the same as the original. Take care, be kind to your self, learn to rest when you need to and not beat yourself up when stuff doesn’t get done. Cancer sucks whatever stage you are at, where ever it strikes.