Hello my Fine Fibrous Friends, and thank you for your kindness in response to my last post. Your words have been a comfort. Seriously.
Meanwhile, this week’s life lesson has been, BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR. Also, WHEN YOU’RE IN A HOLE, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY RECONSIDER YOUR URGE TO DIG. With a side order of, TRUST THE DILIGENT WORK YOU’VE PUT INTO DESIGNING AND DON’T MAKE STUPID IMPULSIVE DECISIONS LATE AT NIGHT. Would you like to see details of my humiliation? Of course you would.
This blog relies on stuff going wrong to fuel a few maybe-amusing anecdotes. If, for example, the Stoic Spouse was devoured by a man-eating shark that was living undetected in our little wildlife pond, then of course 99% of my thinking would be, “Oh no, my cherished husband has met a brutal and untimely end, and our sweet children will be bereft.” But there’s a teeny weeny little bit of me that’d be musing, “Hmm, I reckon I could get two – maybe even three – blog posts out of this, if I embellish the story a bit.”
(Don’t worry, no actual husbands were harmed in the making of this blog post.)
I did draft a post, and tinkered with it for weeks, but it wasn’t good enough. It’s frustrating, I thought, that nothing yarn-related has gone spectacularly wrong lately.
As I said, be careful what you wish for. Very careful.
I’ve been working on a couple of design commissions for the fabulous Finnish yarn company, Novita. There’s a cardigan-in-progress that I’ve been showing sometimes on my main Instagram account (as opposed to my garden and food-growing Insta account). And you know what? I’m pretty pleased with how the cardigan turned out – the motifs, the carefully fitted shaping, the everything. Details of the pattern have fallen neatly into place. The sleeves fitted perfectly into the armscyes and the steeks behaved themselves.
With that much hubris, it was fairly certain that the universe was gearing up for a laugh at my expense. I finished the knitting and measured the result. Hmm, a little bigger than it should have been, but it was nothing that a robust wash-and-block couldn’t resolve, right?
Wrong. With a late-night concern that my gauge was over-tight – despite swatch-derived evidence to the contrary as I carefully created the pattern – I’d upped my needle size when I started knitting the sample garment. Which was fine. Totally fine. Until the finished object was off the needles and on to the blocking boards, soggy and very, very, spready. I really should have relaxed and trusted the swatch. I’d disobeyed my own thoroughly-checked pattern and created a disaster. My OK-sized cardigan was way larger than the dimensions I’d promised Novita. What on earth should I do? I needed to send the finished object off to Finland to be photographed, pronto.
A sensible person would have calmly considered their options before taking action. I am not a sensible person.
Heat, that’s what this thing needed, right? First I re-washed and agitated it at the hottest temperature I dared (which wasn’t very hot at all, because whilst I hadn’t been commissioned to design a cardigan that would house an entire family, I also hadn’t been commissioned to design baby clothes for underweight mice). And I pinned it out on the board, all squidged into something not too far from the correct dimensions, hoping that it would take the hint. Reader, I now know that knitting is invulnerable to hints.
I should have stopped digging this hole that I was in, but… I didn’t. I fetched the hairdryer. I set it to maximum super-hot nuclear-level mega-blast – a setting that I’d never even dream of using on my own hair. I held it barely a centimetre over the pinned-out garment. That was how I learned the lesson that it’s possible to leave burn-marks on wool-based yarn with a hairdryer.
Finally, finally, I realized that it was time to stop excavating this hole that I’d dug. I went for a run to de-stress. That helped a lot. I discussed the situation with the Stoic Spouse who – mercifully – hadn’t been devoured by a shark. And then I left the cardigan pinned to the boards for a couple of days whilst it finished drying naturally.
You know what? By the time it was completely dry, it had settled into a not-wildly-unacceptable size. Bigger than I’d promised the yarn company, but I’m all for inclusive sizing so hopefully they won’t mind. The cardigan now fits me perfectly, but I’ve never been super-slender model material. Just in case, I’m speed-knitting a replacement using the needles THAT I SPECIFIED IN MY OWN FREAKIN’ PATTERN.
Lesson learned. Trust diligent swatching and pattern creation over late-night jitters about whether your knitting might be fractionally too small.
Tomorrow’s life lesson will be all about the dangers of putting off one’s to-do list by drafting a blog post instead.
Not a whole (hole?) Lot makes me smile these days. Your blog made me laugh out loud. I won’t say why. Thanks.
Yikes, I hope it isn’t because you’ve fed your partner to a pond-shark?
But seriously, thank you. And may you discover other things that raise a smile.
It is such a sweet cardi, but not an xs. Who cares, the world isn’t consisting of xs woman. Not even in Finland. I know you wanted to write blogs, but don’t do that to Stoic spouse, I mean a shark in your pond. Oi. Wildlife preserve will come to your address and goodness know what more trouble it will give.
Don’t worry, I’m not actually WISHING for my husband to be eaten by wildlife. I’m just saying that it such a tragedy were to occur, I’d be simultaneously grieving and drafting a post. (Not really, don’t worry, I’m not a total psychopath.)
About 2 years ago I set aside a beautiful cardigan which is all but finished, complicated cables etc all over the upper half, the lower half seems disinclined to agree with body measurements & re-doing will require major disassembled. Some day when I’m feeling strong & courageous….
Ouch, I really do feel your pain. Trust me, I understand. May you one day very soon feel confident to rework the lower half.
Thank you. It is comforting to know one is not alone in “hole-digging”!
Oh dear, I’m sorry that you too understand the experience!
Your creation is gorgeous. No matter what size it turned out, it would fit someone perfectly and make that lucky person very happy. And it’s always a delight to read your blog posts. Thank you for being such a lovely, upbeat voice!
And thank you for being incredibly generous with your words.
Love the Cardi, how is it that no matter how much prep and work we’ve put in the apprehension doesn’t stop until the trying on stage. Have faith in your ability.
Can I ask why you blocked before setting the sleeves, never considered that option before.?
Because I wanted the pieces to be their final dimensions, so that I’d be joining them true to how the finished garment would look. I hope that vaguely makes sense?!
The cardi is, as always, beautiful. Even in bits with scorch marks.
I think the Finnish Folk can vary in size the same as anyone else, so you’re efforts will be much appreciated 🙂
I hope so. And thank you for your kindness.
I am a great believer in the power of the fibrous fudge. My masterwork jumper took me 25 years to knit and when the pieces were all done I realised I’d done the front a different size from the back. Some creative blocking and a bit of jiggery pokery with the sewing up and no-one is any the wiser. I think your cardigan looks fab and that the yarn manufacturers should take some responsibility for a yarn that behaves so very badly when wet. Let the universe laugh at its peril.
“Fibrous fudge” = BEST PHRASE EVER! Please may I steal it? And yes, I completely and utterly agree with you.
Please feel free. I’d be honoured 😊
Um…I have figured out what needles to use on a project and then picked up the wrong ones! Im just glad to see someone else does daft stuff like that…
Oh no! I’ve made every other mistake known to yarn but have yet to try that one. Please don’t give my subconscious ideas…
I think that has to be one of the most beautiful handmade works of wool I have ever seen. Had I “mismade” it for any living human, they would have to grow into it. Or wait for a reboot. You are an artiste. But, perfectionism makes us do crazy.
I think so, too!
Bobbie, and Laura, stop! You’re making a grown woman blush. (Or maybe it’s the start of a menopausal hot flush – who knows?!) Seriously, thank you for your kindness. It just so happens that I found a use for a lifelong history of doodling.
It is a lovely sweater, and an entertaining post was gotten out of it, and the spousal unit is safe and sound, and the little ones, still have a happy home… Happy Mother’s Day dear lady.
Thank you so much! You’re right: nothing properly catastrophic has happened.
Philippa you are my joy.
And you are – as ever – far too generous in your assessment, my dear.
Looking forward to purchasing that pattern for the sweater. It’s a delightful take on two co,or knitting. Looks like lots of fun. I didn’t see when it would be available, but I want it!
Thank you.
Love the new cardigan, looks like fun to knit. When can we get a copy of the pattern?
I need to speak to the yarn company, because the plan is that it will be published in Finnish in their magazine. I’ll ask them whether there’s any way that I can bring this to English-speaking friends. I’d happily email you the pattern (when I’ve finished writing it up!) but I do need to check with Novita about how they see the situation.
That is one awesome cardigan, Phil. Love the dragonflies on the shoulders.
Will there be patterns in English, or will we have to Google Translate from the Finnish?
I fear that you may have to resort to Google Translate, on the offchance that you’re not completely fluent in Finnish. But I’m going to talk to Novita about whether there’s a way to make this available in English too. I’d happily email you the pattern (once I’ve finished writing it up) but I just need to check with Novita what their thoughts are.
Purely out of interest – how do you get the garter stitch bands on the ‘hem’ and cuffs to stay in place? I’ve knitted things with such garter stitch bands, which have a nasty tendency to flip up. No matter how hard I block them!
Hi Sharon, It’s an inexact science! But I usually go down a needle size for the garter stitch, and block the finished thing to within an inch of its life. Seems to mostly work…
Always happy to see a blog from you as I know I shall get smiling when reading it! Thank you xx
And always happy to see a comment from you because you’re very kind!
Oh Phil – I actually yelped when I saw the cardi in pieces! I would have gladly taken it off your hands (there’s no way you’ll find me knitting something like this – much admired but not to be tackled in these hands). So glad the SS is still in one piece (and I’m betting not going near the pond).
Don’t worry, the SS is very much alive and well. And thank you for your kindness. The cardigan is now all joined up and has been posted off to Finland. Hurrah!
I throughly enjoy reading your blogs. Whether they’re sad, funny or serious you truly have a way of writing that keeps me reading. Thank you
Thank you so much. It’s comments like this that keep me going. Thank you.
I thoroughly hope you won’t stick to your swatches, this needs a sequel 😂
Ha! Don’t worry, I’m fairly confident that there’ll be further disasters in my knitted future, and I promise to come here and tell you about them.
You’re art blows me away. Thank you for inspiring!
I think you’ve been really hard on yourself, that is a beautiful piece of work so be proud. As someone who has managed in 4 days about 12 rows of a not very wide not very lacy scarf, I laughed out loud at your idea a speed knitting another cardigan. Amazing.
I love your blogs. You always have that wonderfully twisted viewpoint that makes me laugh! What impresses me more than anything else is how you plow thru and eventually correct your knitting snafu! Mine get chucked into a bag to be forgotten. I get so mad at it! It takes me a long time to forgive! When I do, I realize it wasn’t a big deal to begin with! Gah!
Your words always lighten my days. Although I never will attain the proficiency level of your work, it doesn’t matter. I am content to admire, gasp in awe, learn what I can, and marvel at the inspiration of your life. Hugs to you!
Ah yes, the ‘joys’ of copyright and publishers. Fair enough. I have a couple of jumpers ‘in waiting’ as it’s been a bit warm recently and likely to get warmer yet, so I can wait.
BTW – I notice you do garter stitch bands. How do you stop the bottom band from turning up all the time? Is there a Recommended Way That Works that I’ve not discovered in over fifty years of knitting? I’ve knitted DH a cardigan with garter stitch bands and the bottom one just flips up. I’m sure this isn’t entirely to do with the way he wears it and is the property of it being garter stitch. The yarn is wool, but contains Other Fibres, so, while it’s blocked ok, I’m not sure how it might react to further (mis)treatment. Thnx
I was merrily reading along, having a bit of a chuckle at your wit until I came to the pic of the cardi sans sleeves, WOAH, you did what?? Whatever possessed you? Deffo in deep breath and walk away territory there! Still, alls well that ends well, bless you. By the way the cardi is actually superb! x
Utterly, utterly beautiful! I saw your swatches in Simply Knitting and looked you up as I loved the colours and motifs. Along with many of the knitters above please let us know if/when the pattern might be available in English. It’s a long time since I’ve done colourwork, but this would lure me back!!
Thank you! I’m checking with the yarn company who will be publishing it. Fingers crossed…
Your cardigan is right up there with Stonehenge and the Easter Island heads — magnificent and otherworldly in its complexity. Well done, you! But I must take slight umbrage at your description of your physical appearance. While of course you are lovely in the photo that appears in your sidebar, it seems to me that anyone who doesn’t think your current “life / peri-menopausal / cancer treatment” appearance is anything less than the appearance of a Strong Survivor Who Is Still In There Fighting is a dipsh!t and a contempible person. We all need people like you to inspire us.
As a larger person, I’m always terrified the item that I’ve sold a kidney to buy the wool for…. Won’t fit, or won’t fit well enough for regular wear. And so I upsize, then a bit more and a bit more and I either end up with something a baby elephant would be comfortable in, or I get weird issues like my less than average chest is swamped and my more than average tummy bursts out like a cheap Buddha 😂