(The Hiking Moose pattern is nearly done. Maybe next post…)
This knitting/crochet thing… it’s supposed to be fun, right? Yes? I just thought I’d check, because, y’know, well because of this:-
More on that
abomination in a moment, but first of all we have a giveaway winner to announce. Remember this beauty?
Thank you to the 225 of you who entered before the deadline, and I’m only sorry that there can’t be 225 prizes, because this is rather a splendid book. As usual, I numbered all the entries, then left it to the inscrutable folk at random.org to do the rest. The result of their hard work? ‘Tis here:-
So who is this shadowy individual? Why, it’s none other than MaryBeth Billington! Congratulations, MaryBeth! I’ll be in touch in order to arrange for your prize to be delivered. Meanwhile, a huge and hairy thank you to Running Press, for providing the prize for this competition.
Back to the yarn.
I was in a yarn shop the other day with a couple of good friends. Or at least, I thought they were good friends: this time last week I’d have sung their praises if you’d asked. So we were wandering the length of the shop, browsing and chatting. My eye fell on some novelty yarn:-
Can I assume that we all know about novelty yarn, yes? We know that whilst it may be enticingly pretty in the ball, it’s best left well alone and admired from afar – and preferably through inch-thick security glass, just to be on the safe side. Because whilst I think we can all agree that sanity is a good thing, the route to sanity most definitely does not lie in working with novelty yarn. I know all this, the friends I was with know all this. And yet…
I’m a bit of a sucker for a rainbow. “Wouldn’t that make a lovely knitted rainbow cushion?” I said. (It’s King Cole Tinsel Chunky, in case you’re wondering.)
Now if these two women had been real friends, they would have said, “No.” Or at least, “Yeah, but you’ll go insane trying to knit that stuff: leave it alone, you clueless fool.” That’s what a real friend would have said. But these two wicked enablers? I think their exact words were, “Oh wow! You’ve got to buy that. It’ll be brilliant!”
And yes, I should have known better myself, but I really do have a bit of a thing about rainbows, and don’t we all have our little lapses of judgement now and again?
I bought the yarn. Seven balls of the stuff. Mistake number one.
And I started to improvise a crocheted rainbow cushion cover. Mistake number two. With knitting, you do at least know where your stitches are, as long as you don’t drop any. But can you imagine trying to crochet this stuff? The yarn is called Tinsel for obvious reasons. You could pretty much just drape it round your Christmas tree and call the job done. But what’s good for Christmas trees isn’t so good for crochet.
There were times, many times, when I resorted to stabbing my hook near-randomly into the morass, because I’d had enough of trying to work out what was stitch and what was extraneous fluff.
But due in no small part to bloody-mindedness and gin, I finished the hairy beast.
I probably ought to say that looking at it makes me smile at its cheerful colours. But mostly it makes me want to get different friends.* As it happens, one of the twinnage has fallen in love with the cushion anyway and has appropriated it for his own use. So I’m making another one. In knitting.
I was planning to write up the pattern in case any of you wanted to make one, but (i) I don’t actually want you to suffer that much, and inflicting this son-of-a-stitch on you would be an act of cruelty, and (ii) portions of the pattern would say things like, “Keep stitching until you’re somewhere vaguely near the end of the row.”
∗ Not really, of course.