Morning all. Right, before we go any further, a quick announcement. I’ve just made all of my patterns free (using the code ANTIVIRAL at the checkout) because it doesn’t feel right to take money whilst people are losing their livelihoods. You can find the patterns here. Most of my designs were free anyway, but for now, they all are.
Anyway, to the subject of today’s post. I don’t usually discuss psychology stuff on here, because I like to keep this blog very separate from the day job, but I think that today might be the time to make an exception. There’s no getting away from the subject that’s on everyone’s minds right now: this pesky little virus that’s trampling all over everyone’s lives. So tiny, yet so RUDE!
So with my psychologist hat on (an extravagantly purple affair with orange sparkly feathers atop, in case you’re curious), may I humbly share some tips for surviving emotionally in these crazy times. The advice here is aimed at those of you who are stuck at home rather more than you’d prefer. Of course, you’re at an immediate advantage by virtue of the fact that you knit/crochet. That means you rarely face the problem, How am I going to fill this time?
There’s no getting away from the fact that we’re living in scary times. The frequency of use of the word ‘unprecedented’ is, quite frankly, unprecedented. It’s natural to feel anxious. You’re anxious. I’m anxious. Even my computer seems to be running its antiviral software more often than usual. But the risk is that unchecked worrying could lead to full-on depression/anxiety, and that is, by its very definition, NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY FUN. So here are a few things to consider whilst you’re stuck at home watching the world go bonkers.
- Goals. We all need ambitions. We need to feel that we’re travelling somewhere, even whilst we’re stuck at home with an uncertain employment situation and swarms of children who seem to think we’re their parent. But think: despite the constraints you’re facing, is there something that your time and isolation enables you to do that would normally be impossible? Learn the ukulele or the harmonica (via YouTube videos)? Start growing vegetables? Work towards doing 50 push-ups per day? Paint the kitchen? Master vegan baking? Meditate? Learn to speak Portuguese? Doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it’s an enticing challenge for you. Ideally, set a very specific goal, so “I’m going to make a 3-d crocheted model of the Taj Mahal in lace-weight yarn” is better than “Yeah, I’ll probably do some crochet”. The more you’re focused on your crazy, hare-brained goal, the less you’ll be focused on the other things you can’t do right now. It’s better for this to be ‘the year you invented Cuban-Icelandic fusion food’ than ‘the year when you couldn’t go to choir’. Of course these goals could be for you alone or for your whole family together.
- Pleasure versus mastery. We all need a balance in our lives between things that are fun (pleasure) and things that challenge us (mastery) – not that the two are mutually exclusive. Yes you could sit on the sofa all day in your PJs watching films… and that might give you high scores for ‘pleasure’ for a little while, but it doesn’t involve much effort (mastery), and so you’ll likely find that your mood and motivation begin to dip. At the other extreme, you could use this time to singlehandedly re-tile the roof, which whilst extremely difficult (mastery) yields pretty much zero pleasure, if only because it’s cold, and the relentless rain is getting into your underwear. Neither of those scenarios is ideal: instead, I’d advise a balance between periods of TV-indulgence and periods of soggy-underweared-roof-re-tiling. We really do need both.
- Get real. The internet is great. Far be it from me to say otherwise. BUT, try and do some things that are – for want of a better word – real. Bake a cake, grow some vegetables, feed the birds, cuddle the cat, play the piano. Why? These activities engage most of your senses. (I said ‘most’ – please do not lick your cat.) At a time of high anxiety, tasks like these are grounding. They bring you – quite literally in the case of gardening – back down to earth from that horrible sky-high cloud of fear that you risk visiting. And activities like these can mostly carry on as normal – they’re a reminder that not everything has gone crazy. Also, constructive activities like growing vegetables provide the reassuring sense of doing something useful. A great deal of what most of us are facing is about stopping things or avoiding things – it’s good to feel that you’re doing something positive to prepare, such as growing a whole heap of tasty potatoes that’ll keep you going for the next few months.
- The basics. At times of weirdness, it’s easy to forget the basic things that help to keep us healthy and emotionally sorted: sleep, exercise, fresh food, water, time outdoors. Please try not to neglect these, because your immune system and your emotional health could take a hit if you do.
I hope that helps, and I hope that you and yours are doing OK. Normal yarny service will be resumed forthwith.
One last thing. May I ask a small favour please? It’s my mum’s (Mother Twisted) birthday this week, and it’s fair to say that isolation at home staring at the walls with Father Twisted wasn’t quite her idea of celebration so if you’ve a moment to spare, please could you wish her a happy birthday in the comments? Thank you – your kindness is appreciated. She will probably murder me for directing attention her way, but I shall die happy.
Stay healthy, people. And carry on knitting/hooking.
Mary says
Happy birthday Mother Twisted! And this is the best advice I’ve seen on managing stress. Thank you!
Dawn Dines says
Well firstly a very happy birthday to your Mummy & of course Happy Mother’s Day.
Thank you for your lovely post, I read it out to my other half, we have been a bit edgy today, we all know the reason why!
Funny enough I went into town today and bought loads of seeds to plant ????
I shall try and keep positive and keep your post to read when I feel a bit low
Thanks again
Dawn
The Twisted Yarn says
I suspect that most of us are feeling a bit edgy at the moment. It’s understandable. May your seeds all germinate and your health be good.
Amanda McNamara says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted from sunny South Africa ???????? We haven’t been put on lockdown yet but I’m sure it will be coming soon. I shall remember all the words of advice when it does happen. I am getting all my wool and needles ready. I hope it won’t be much longer for you all. Stay safe and God bless xx And thank you for the patterns
The Twisted Yarn says
Aww, thank you! You’re extremely kind.
Sandra L Eppeland says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted from oklahoma.Your daughter gives good advice. I hope you have a beautiful day.
Ruth Middleton says
Happy birthday Mother Twisted!
Penny Moton says
My pleasure….a Very Happy Birthday???? to Mama Twisted! I truly hav enjoyed following u as u usually give Sound advice & instruction. Things are just as crazy here in Houston & I’m determined to make much progress on my many WIP’s. Stay safe all & carry on!
Linda Schilling says
Happy Birthday to your mom ???? May her day be Blessed with Sunshine and Happiness ????.
Thank you for helping me to stay motivated and get things done around here, Spring Cleaning, etc…and still being lucid enough to work on my wips in the evening ????
Mother Twisted says
Thank you for your good wishes.
debbie jones says
Thank you for the wonderful advise during this crazy time. … Oh, and much happiness on your birthday Mother Twisted ..
The Twisted Yarn says
You’re very, very welcome.
Jennifen M Rivera says
Thank you for such a beautifully written piece of advice!!! And of course, Wishing the happiest of birthdays to Mother Twisted!!!
Charles Slater says
Hoppy Birdie to you,
Hoppy Birdie to you,
Hoppy Birdie Twisted yarns Mummy,
Hoppy Bridie to you!
Thanks for your inspirational post, so positive and uplifting.
Deborah
Diane Donle says
AMEN!!! Yes, please, Mother Twisted (quite a lovely name for such a lovely woman) do have an incredibly excellent birthday
The Twisted Yarn says
She’s messaged me to say that she deeply appreciates everyone’s comments.
MArgaret Turner says
THank you for your wonderful blog that is always helpful and has me chuckling. Happy Birthday tooto Mother Twisted from a fine and sunny East Yorkshire. May you all stay safe and well.
The Twisted Yarn says
And thank YOU for such generous words. Wishing you peace and more sunshine and perfect health.
linda769 says
Good advice, and Happy birthday to your mum
Sandra Potkins says
Happy birthday from Canada Mother Twisted. Be safe. Eat cake.
The Twisted Yarn says
Cake is good. Cake is always good. Thanks for your kind wishes for my mum. Wishing you health.
The Twisted Yarn says
She appreciates it – thank you!
Eva Collinge says
Thanks from a rather cold West Berkshire, and birthday greetings to Mother Twisted. Love the thought of your hat.
The Twisted Yarn says
Oooh, I work in West Berks! Hello local person!
Roxanne Smart says
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mother Twisted!! Your beautiful daughter failed to mention which birthday this may be so I shan’t be so crude as to even wonder. I must say, though, that this is probably the weirdest birthday situation in which you have found yourself.
I’m writing from the rural countryside in northeastern Washington state, USA and I’m astounded that so many people all around the world have this crazy connection – a virulent tiny virus.
I constantly think of the many ways in which millions of lives are being impacted and I hope this is over soon without too much carnage.
My best wishes for you on your special day and may the sun shine brilliantly through your window!
Roxanne Smart
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you so much. Seriously. My mum has messaged me to say how much she appreciates everyone’s good wishes. This little virus is bringing out the best and the worst of humanity – hopefully mostly the best. Wishing you health. Px
Nicky says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted – your daughter is very talented and a bit funny too. Love Robin’s contributions too X
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you. ♥️
Margaret Downs says
Happy birthday Mother Twisted. Love your daughter’s blog , Margaret
The Twisted Yarn says
She has messaged me to say that she’s deeply grateful for everyone’s kindness.
Lindy Van Fleet says
Ravelry still wants me to pay for pattern.
The Twisted Yarn says
That’s strange… Did you enter the code, all in uppercase?
Kirsten Russell says
Have a very happy birthday mother twisted ❤????❤ great advice and help when I was feeling very wobbly and berating myself for it. Thank you ❤
The Twisted Yarn says
Times are tough, I know. Everyone is having moments (or more) of wobble. It’s understandable.
Aisha says
Momaisha from USA says Happy Birthday to Mother Twisted I do so enjoy your daughter’s posts.
The Twisted Yarn says
My mum has messaged me to say that she’s deeply grateful for everyone’s good wishes.
Kate says
Happy birthday to your mum!! It’s my sister’s birthday on Monday and she is in isolation as my 4 yr old nephew has a cough. It’s my birthday at the beginning of May and I’m pessimisticly expecting that we’ll all be in isolation by then. Thank you so much for writing this. I thought I was going to be fine when all this started, actually I’m really struggling now. I don’t know if being a front line public sector keyworker is a good thing as it’s keeping me busy or a bad thing as I can’t socially distance myself from people. I haven’t been able to focus on my knitting for a whole but i’l try some of the other things you suggested.
xx
The Twisted Yarn says
It’s really hard, I know. There’s no point pretending otherwise. I hope very much that you and your loved ones can work out some way to make your birthday special.
M-R says
Dear Phil’s mum: I send you birthday wishes from Downunder with great cheer – a large proportion of which has come from reading your crazy daughter’s post. She refuses to accept praise for her brilliance; so, once you’ve taken in that I’m saying “Happy Birthday, and many more of same !”, please give her a clip across the ear, OK ?
You must be a pretty superior person to be half of those responsible for producing her, so my wishes are very sincere indeed: I hope you have as good a day as is possible in these strange days ! In fact, I doubt very much that you’re sitting about feeling sorry for yourself: far more likely that you’re out and about – or planning to be – doing good and being extremely amusing. Like daughter like mother.
So hoo-roo from Geelong, Victoria’s second city (which is, in truth, just a rather big town) with a virtual hug !
The Twisted Yarn says
I know this is addressed to my mum, not to me, but may I just let you know that she very much appreciates everyone’s good wishes. Stay safe Down Under. Crazy times…
Janet says
Thankyou for your wonderful common sense.Hope your mum has a great birthday
The Twisted Yarn says
She’s grateful for all the kind comments.
M-R says
Phil, where did you learn to take photos ?
Robyn is gorgeous.
So are you.
The Twisted Yarn says
OK, now I’m blushing! Photography has been a slow work in progress since this blog began. I’ve read books, watched videos, and tried my best. I know I still have far to go, but that’s OK. (Robyn is indeed gorgeous.)
Ruth Feathers says
Happy birthday, Mother Twisted! And thanks for the comfort.
The Twisted Yarn says
❤️
Lee Mitchell says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted from the USA. You have an insanely great daughter!
The Twisted Yarn says
Or… possibly just ‘insane’. ????????????
Rebecca Eveland says
Twisted Mother – Sending the happiest wishes for an awesome birthday from Northwest Oregon, U.S. We are all blessed by the talents of your Twisted Yarn daughter, so thank you for being the Mother who nurtured her, then passed her onto “life” and eventually us. We’re really happy to thrive in this realm.
The Twisted Yarn says
She’s very grateful for everyone’s kind comments. Wishing you health in these crazy times.
Penny Sargent says
If I was a betting womanI wouldthink you got your wisdom from your mother.. Happy Birthday
I hope you have had a wonderful day.
The Twisted Yarn says
She’s messaged me to say that she truly appreciates everyone’s birthday wishes.
Lorelei Schnabler says
Thank you so much for your kindness in the midst of a threat of illness and financial hardship. Free patterns would definitely brighten my day!
Annette says
Happy birthday, Mother Twisted!!! And thanks for the good advice!
The Twisted Yarn says
You’re welcome. ????
The Twisted Yarn says
You’re very welcome.
Barbara H says
Your advice to not lick your cat is well advised. My cat loves it when I give her a bath, but I just don’t know then what to do with all that hair in my mouth! (if you have heard this joke before, I hope it is as funny as I think it is to revisit it.)
The Twisted Yarn says
Ha ha ha ha! No, I hadn’t heard that joke before. Thank you for making me giggle.
Teresa B Rastoskey says
Ok, Chrome has kicked me out three times as I have tried to post this comment. That’s the way things are going today, but darn it I have to tell you I loved this post. I laughed outloud and I needed to. The seed packs arrived this past week and the groceries are laid in. Someone has to plant the darn seeds all thousand of them indoors because we don’t trust the frost to stay away until the end of May. And someone should be making culinary delights for my family but I hate to cook. Someone should be cleaning the house, ect. But Someone is going to pick up her tunisan crochet hook and work on her Afghan but first she’s going to glare at spellcheck for capitalizing Afghan AGAIN! Happy Birthday Twisted Mother. Birthdays are days to reflect after a certain age and you have a blessing in a talented daughter. Of course she takes after you. But dear Twisted, I want the pattern for your hat. I would call it my Motivation hat. Purple is fine but I would want peacock feathers. Thank you for lifting my day.
The Twisted Yarn says
Tee hee, I might actually have to knit this hat now! May all your seeds germinate. ????
Julie says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted, wish you and the Twisted family (no pun intended ) a safe and creative time, thank you for an heartfelt and so helpful post, we have been busy gardening and even got sunburn/windburn today as we were outside for 6 hours, but felt so good in the fresh air and away for any news reports, stay safe all and I’m going to raid the shed next for my seed stash, happy gardening ????
The Twisted Yarn says
Happy gardening to you, too. It really is the best therapy.
Aru says
Happy birthday Mother Twisted!!!!! Happy mother’s day too ???? Make the best out of both days no matter what’s going on ????
Thank you for making your patterns free, it’s such a lovely kind gesture and appreciated massively. You also give brilliant advice ????
The Twisted Yarn says
Thank you. It’s the least I can do. Far too many people are struggling in these scary times.
Juanita says
Happy birthday Mother Twisted! I hope Daughter Twisted and family spoil you on this very special double day – your birthday AND mothers day!
Kris says
Thank you for this post. What a talented photographer you are! Another feather in your hat.
I’m in the Pacific Northwest in the US and I saw my first Robin yesterday. 🙂
Angie W says
Thank you so much for posting this. I really needed this right now. A very, very happy birthday to your mother! It’s coming all the way from Idaho, USA. ???? ????????????????????
Cathrine says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted and happy Mothers Day. Lovely post as usual and so kind to make all your pattern free. Looking forward to purchasing your book. Take care xx
Denise Fordyce says
Happy birthday to your mum! If I were your mum I’d want to do you in, too, but secretly I’d be smiling.
Donna Pianella says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted!
Wishing you a wonderful birthday from a small beach town in Australia
Yes difficult times but wonderful people like you daughter help us through them. I’m sure you are very proud of her, and I sure her wisdom is your own.
I look forward to these posts and the beautiful photographs of your robin and garden.
Thank you.
Donna Pianella
Ariatha says
Happy birthday Mother Twisted. And thank you for one of the best posts on how to cope that I have read.
Candy Haslam says
Phil, thank you for your heartwarming post. I needed that today. Happy birthday, Mother Twisted from Vancouver, Canada. Love the pictures of Robyn, North American Robin’s are just not the same. Give her lots of mealworms.
Dee says
Thank you for your generosity.
Happy Birthday mum – wishing you many, many more from NYC! Enjoy your day!
Sally says
A Very Happy Birthday to your Mum from Gloucestershire.
And thank you for the advice, I’m going to use it at home and at work xx
Ps yes, never lick your cat. Especially if they are fluffy…. But it’s definitely ok to squidge their toes if you ask them first. I think at least my cat will be pleased if it turns out I have to work from home
Sally
Kraemer says
Having moved from Hampshire to Canada, I love the pictures of the little English robin. We are in isolation also and being cared for by our daughter and son in law. My Mum was a fabulous English woman who also married a Canadian and came out to Manitoba as a war bride, she took great care of 10 children and a fabulous gardener husband. He grew every fruit and vegetable known to man, and lots of flowers for her to cut for her Church flowers. I wish you and your Mum many more happy years together, would give anything to hug my Mum one more time. Happy Birthday Mum
michelle chrzan says
Thank you for the sage advice and all the wonderful patterns. Such caring for strangers is (unfortunately) a seemingly rare commodity anymore. A very Happy Birthday to Mother Twisted! May she and Father Twisted “survive” the isolation. Its more than i could handle! Think i might voluntarily move to the barn & live with the horses even in this frigid snowy weather!
Barbara-Anne Purves says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted this is from downunder in good old New Zealand. Love the blog and seeing the Robin very cute and obviously he/she knows just what side his/her bread is buttered on. Keep up the good work/blogs. Stay safe everyone. Kiwigirl
Juliette says
Happy birthday to your mum, I’m sure she’s as lovely as her daughter. Keep cheering us up
Juliette xx
Heather says
Happy birthday Twisted Mother. I feel you pain, it is my birthday today and there is no restaurant open, can’t visit anyone. I have set up shots of scotch around the house and doing a pub crawl.
andreaclairekiwi says
All the best for your Big Day, Mother Twisted! My Dad has a birthday coming up, too, and as over 70s have been advised to stay at home (I’m in New Zealand), he’ll be staying put for his own Big Day.
stitchingshadow says
Happy birthday Mother Twisted from Australia
pomegranateandchintz says
Thank you for your sage advice – I do hope the whole world reads it and takes note. Very Happy Birthday wishes to Mother Twisted – do hope you can enjoy your day and celebrate it.
Liliana says
I feel I know you (even though you certainly don’t know me) so by extension I must know your mother! Happy birthday distant friend’s mother! from Melbourne.
PS I love your blog and will be passing this post on to my 20 year old son who may be facing an extended time at home without work or being able to go out with his friends. Like entering a black hole at his age.
Elaine says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted, have a wonderful day (from Australia )
KAREN KEOLKER says
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ???????? week mother twisted. May you have a blessed week. ♥️
Mary Ayling says
Happy Mother’s Day to Mother Twisted from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. Love reading the family news and hearing all about Robyn, age 2. We feed a family of four Magpies each day – morning and evening, they give us such simply joy. Keep well and enjoy your day. Mary
37asheAnne Shepherd says
Happy birthday Mother twisted, fro Adelaide, South Australia. As it has been suggested we sing Happy Birthday twice whilst washing our hands, you will be my dear someone today.????????Anne
Alexandra Smith says
A very Happy Birthday to you, Twisted Mother!’
You have circled around the sun one more year and we have lived to see the next generations born, our children as parents and the joy they bring to this world. Thank you Phil!
Today we are celebrating the 2nd birthday of Xander our second grandchild. Our daughter and family came to stay with us for the duration. We are socially distancing as our Public Health Officer has told us to do, so no hugs, or kisses. Just tickles from across the yard.
Wishing you Good Health!!!
Laura says
Thank you for your wise and comforting message. So glad I came across your website; it is a lovely gift and I will come back from now on. In the meantime, a very happy birthday wish for Mom Twisted from Arizona. I’m reading and knitting, and enjoying perfect weather. Love Robin’s pics. Be well, God bless and protect us all.
deborah smith says
Happy Birthday Mother Twisted” from down under Australia.Maybe Father Twisted could bake a birthday cake for her.I love reading your blog. Your advise to everyone should be headed by all, we should all try to live our lives as normally as possible.
Take care all.
Corinne says
Happy birthday, Mother Twisted! Also happy Mothers’ Day. Usually it’s the parents who embarrass their children…..
Thank you for a post of sanity amongst the madness. ????
We, hubby and I, both in the at risk group, are staying put on the orders of daughters, who are self isolating for a week since leaving work yesterday. The catch is I’m the main carer for my 81 year old Dad, who has severe health issues. He copes really well on his own but I see him every day unless dd1 or 2 can help out. I think it’s starting to get through just how serious things are at last, but he still thinks I can pop to the shops whenever he wants.p
We’ve started to sort out the spare room in case we have to sleep in separate beds, and we have lots of hobbies to keep us occupied.
We all set up whatsapp so we can all call and see each other so that will make a difference.